Fruit of the Spirit or Gift of the Spirit?

One thing among many I have always struggled with in my life as a Christian is I know the bible is true yet, I know that I have no Self Control. Now scripture tells me it is a fruit of the Spirit. I had been taught it is a gift given to me when the Spirit of God came to dwell inside of me. So then why do I not have any self control? I remember asking a Pastor about this many years ago and he told me "well of course you do just take it, accept the gift that has been given and use it." I never did get it... understand it or be able to use it... huh, how do you do that. his answer to me was "you just do" years later when I was teaching a ladies Bible study on the Fruit of the Spirit I resorted to humor and so teased and said "well I guess that is just one God forgot to give me, I must have been busy looking for the chocolate when He was passing out that particular Fruit of the Spirit"

Yesterday all that changed, I learned that Self Control is not something I can make myself have, it is a fruit of the HOLY SPIRIT! Not of Kathy. If I could make myself have Self Control then it would be a fruit of Kathy, It is not it is a fruit of the HOLY SPIRIT! It is not up to me to make myself Self Controlled. Self Control comes out of my communion and relationship with God, my fellowship with God. It is something He does in me. Wow what freedom i found in that! What a release of guilt, What an excitement is building inside as I seek His power to take over and produce in me Self Control.

God as the Holy Spirit is doing His work in me, this is not about me doing a work on myself it is the indwelling Holy Spirit working in me. This is what the New Covenant is all about. Under the old covenant God had established with Abraham there was something the people needed to do to get right with God they needed to make a sacrifice. They needed to do this. Today under the new Covenant As a child of God who has received salvation as a gift from the only one who can save me, Jesus Christ the only Son of God, I need not do anything. God is the one who will make the changes in me. Christ lives in me. His word is written in my heart not just on tablets of stone. I have all I need I have God to help me embrace it and to live it!

A Sunday Celebration

Today I visited a church that was very different and yet very comfortable. My spirit connected with the Spirit of God and sang a new song! The worship style was familiar yet at the same time totally different, deeper and more reverent, words I recognized, yet a new song I had yet to sing. I left knowing that I had been among a group of people who were truly worshiping God. Who had come expecting to be in His presence and in the presence of other believers who were earnestly seeking His face. I do not know if I have ever been in a place where so many were overwhelmed with their desire to worship God, and to soak in His word, to find answers on how to live this life in the light of His glory and grace.

The message was bathed in the blood of Christ. It gave a clear gospel presentation yet at the same time was not a seekers service it was not a new believers service, it was a hearty meal of meat and potatoes. it was one that challenged the mature believer to go deeper, and at the same time it called to those who are thirsty to come and drink deeply of His refreshing, thirst quenching, living water. They used a centuries old message and made it relevant to today without watering it down to make it palatable for this generation, while at the same not time taking away the relevance to the early church. There was a passion in the preaching that you could tell was real and being lived out in the every day of the one who spoke. There was sense of overwhelming desire on his part to impart his awe and wonder at the words of his Lord and Savior. To make us understand the depth of his understanding of what the Word meant to him and to us. How it could and would change our lives by understanding and apply it to our daily living.

I cannot begin to tell you how thrilled I was to come home and find messages online going back years from this group of pastors. I will have the opportunity to discover if what I heard today was consistent with their message. the information they provided me gives me much to take in and pray about.



Blessings my friends,

Virtues

So my memory verse for this week is Colossians 3:14 "and over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." so what virtues is this verse talking about? The two verses preceding this one tells us there are 7 virtues...

Compassion
Kindness
Humility
Gentleness
Patience
Forbearance
Forgiveness

Day one of my First Place 4 Health class talks about these virtues in the same way as clothing. Just as we know that to put together a "smart" outfit we should layer our clothing for a nice look as well as for practical reasons. we also should "wear" these virtues. Then it asks the question... what virtues are missing from your daily wardrobe? after mulling that over a bit I thought I was not really missing any so decided Humility must be the one missing! LOL... Then on day two they had us look at these virtues in a different way. Applying them to ourselves... It is easy for most of us to think of ways to use these virtues on behalf of others. However for some of us it is almost impossible to apply them to ourselves. So I am really struggling with this one... I know that I should love myself enough to find all kinds of ways to apply them to me. However all this exercise does is make me want to run for the chocolate! I have been thinking about this since last night... I have not gotten into the chocolate. I have determined that surely that would not be showing myself kindness. So at the very least I can maybe check that one off my list. I am determined to work though this. to finally find the answers to some deep questions. I have called upon my prayer warriors asking them to speak wisdom into my life to assist me in fighting whatever demons still haunt my mind that although I know how much God loves me I still find it almost impossible to even think about loving myself. I know that with Gods help I can move past this place in my life. I refuse to stuff it down inside of me like I have for so many years. I know this is all a part of becoming the woman God wants me to become. I am determined to do that. I have promised God that I was wiling to do whatever it takes to get there. So here goes....

Wisdom

Here is what I am allowing to soak into my heart and soul today…

Proverbs 2: 3-10
Yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you see it like silver and search for its as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God; for the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding; He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk in integrity guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of His saints. Then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity, every good path; for wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.

And

Proverbs 3: 1-8
My son, do not forget my teaching but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart so you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil it will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.


One of the things that jumped out to me was searching for wisdom like hidden treasure… It reminded me of the parable Jesus taught about the lost coin. (Luke15: 8-10) I had to stop and think about my life and do I sincerely seek Gods wisdom like a lost treasure? If I knew that there was a treasure of great value hidden in my home how would I react? Would I search for it like the women who lost her coin by sweeping the house and seeking diligently until I find it? I realize the truth is, I do not. I realize that although I live in a nation that allows me free access to the word of God and I have probably 10 or more bibles in my home I do not search the scriptures seeking wisdom. I read them like a story or a history lesson or a letter written to someone else. I do not always turn to God in prayer when I need to make decisions. I way too often lean on my own understanding… something Proverbs 3:5 tells me not to do!

Here is my prayer… Oh, Precious Lord, please forgive me for not seeking your wisdom like the precious treasure I know it is… it holds the key to my future, the cures for my ills, the directions for my journey and the life giving knowledge of how to draw from your unfailing well the living water that sustains me. It contains the words that lift my soul and reminds me of how you love me with a love that gave your all for me. It reminds me that you have special plans for me and that you have given me gifts I have yet to unwrap, enjoy and share with others. Help me Holy Spirit to not just read the words of wisdom you have recorded in the word, but instead to hide them in my heart and keep them in the upmost part of my mind that I might recall them with clarity, and apply them to my daily life. Amen…

Father's Day

Father's day has been a very difficult day for me since my earthly father went home to be with my Heavenly Father 11 years ago. He was only 54 years old and I still feel that it was way to young. I did not have enough years with him. However, I also struggle with Father's day for other reasons. My daughter who is now 23 years old has never spent Fathers day with her father. She actually has only spent one week of her life with him, (When she was 13). He has never been a father to her. hasen't even spoken to her except during that week. My son has struggled with his relationship with his father all of his life. His father walke dout on us when he was 2 years old. Today he is with him, at least in the same home with him. I do not know what their relationship is like as at 17 he does not communicate his feelings to me well. (of course he never has...) I know so many who have not had good relationships with their fathers and so many who never knew of spent time with their fathers. I do not understand why that is. I do not get how a man can walk away from his children like they do not matter. I do not understand how they can even try to forget them. I know that there are plenty who probably regret their actions. Then they need to humble themselves and ask forgiveness and try to forge a relationship with their children. I do not know if they ever will. Others are with their children in the physical sense however never even talk to them They also need to stop and see what they are truly communicating to their children by their actions. What are they teaching their children by their absence?

Fathers of this world please wake up... see what you are doing...

My heavenly Father has been a faithful and ever present part of my life. To show me His faithfulness He has placed men in my life who I know to be good fathers. Men like my boss that always puts His children first. Goes to their games, plans parties and special events for them. Others whom I have watched cry for their daughters when they are hurt of hurting, and teach their sons to become men of honor. So I know that there are good fathers out there. I just pray that those of you who do have your father in your life that you made a special time to talk to and honor your father today. for those who do not Praise your heavenly father today for all the ways He has been faithful to you. and for all those who have been raised by a mom along join my daughter in honoring your mom who has been both mom and dad to you... What a wonderful gift that was to me today from my daughter to get a text message telling me Thanks!

For all you fathers out there who are trying your hardest to be the best dad you can. Thanks!!! and keep it up!!!


Blessing everyone,

One Year

What a difference one year makes... one year ago today I woke up in the morning and did not have any cigarettes in my purse or somewhere in my house. Today I woke up and remembered it has been one entire year since I have been a smoker! I was a smoker for 30+ years... now I can say I quit smoking over a year ago! Last night I called the healthcre provider who I have been paying for the past several years for oxygen. I no longer need to sleep well. with out smoking and now losing over 40 pounds and exercising like I should I fall asleep within minutes of going to bed and need an alarm to wake up. I feel rested and refreshed when I wake up and I do not hurt and ache when I try to get out of bed. What amazing differences in my life this past year! God has been so faithful and so awesome to me, the blessings continue to overflow in my life!

Several years ago God gave me the verse John 10:10 "the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy, however, I came to give life and life more abundant." I know for many years I lived a life where the enemy was stealing my joy, my health, my relationships, my confidence, and so much else. He had almost killed my dreams and my hope for the future. He was intent on destroying all that God wanted to build up in me. How Awesome that God fights for us and when we allow Him to be in charge of our lives He will reclaim all the enemy has attempted to destroy. He did for me and He will for you! Praise God with me today! He is alone worthy of our praise!!!

Blessings,

Kathy

More Traditional

This is the day that the Lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it!

What a beautiful day! this morning started off fairly cool out side for summer in Florida! I enjoyed walking in the garden this morning. giving life sustaining water to the flowers and plants. Spending time in the garden with my Lord. I often think of what it must have been like in the original garden. Oh to actually have walked in it with Him! After a few hours it did start to get very warm so I knew it must be time to return to the house, shower and get ready to join a body of believers in worship. Where??? I was not sure, no real clear idea of if I should return to the same place as last week or seek out somewhere else. getting ready I realized it was about 10 minutes too late to make the service at the place I worshiped last week. That took me to the computer and a google search for a local church that started at 10:30 or 11:00. after looking at a few I decided on a more traditional church just a bit farther from home than last week.

although this felt a bit more familiar, it also felt "old" not sure why... may have been the low pews, the 70's design of the building and decor, the Hymns listed in the bulletin... I was pleasantly surprised to see a mix of contemporary, a few praise songs mixed in with the Hymns and even a contemporary performance of the choir and worship leader. The pastor presented a great message, although a bit loud and "in your face" (kind of reminded me of the way an old "fire and brimstone" preacher would present) although the message was anything but fire and brimstone. the service ended with a very old familiar Hymn of invitation. More traditional than I think I need to openly worship the way I believe I need to... It was a nice cozy comfortable feeling... of course we know God is probably not going to call me to a church where I feel all comfortable, now is He? LOL

Enjoy your day, I know that as for me... I will be spending it with my Lord! No matter what the day brings it will be a day to rejoice at the presence of my King!

Blessings,

Late night thoughts - prayer request

Tonight as I was reflecting back on my week. and trying to figure out why this week has been so difficult on so many levels, I realized that it has been a week of emotional battles.

The First Place 4 Health program is a program based on balance in our lives. It deals with the Physical, Spiritual, Mental and Emotional. well... this week God decided it was time to start messing with the emotional stuff. Not fair is what my mind wants to scream... I want to keep working on the physical... And I thought that one was hard.... sheeze...

For those of you who have heard my testimony you know that about 3 & 1/2 years ago I had the most amazing encounter with Jesus. (outside of being saved of course!) For those of you who do not know my testimony please ask me, I would love to share how Jesus started the process to transform my life! One of the things that came from that time with Jesus was an understanding of the wounds in my past that I had allowed to imprison me in my present. I freely admit that my weight was a way for me to hide, to protect myself from myself and from others. The truth is that in this world most severely overweight people are invisible. I knew that and had unconsciously allowed my weight to spiral out of control effectively hiding me from even my friends and family. However, due to several different happenings in my life over the past three years, God has been working on me and in circumstances to bring me to tonight... To a realization that I harbor such fear of being seen and being heard that this week has sent me into a tailspin. You see I had reached the 40 pounds lost mark, I had to clean out my closet because none of my clothes fit. I had to go shopping for new clothes. people noticed, people made wonderful comments, all to encourage me in all that is happening. Instead they scared me to death. I wanted to go run and hide somewhere. I realize there are still many broken places inside of me. I spent about an hour tonight in tears asking God to start healing and mending the broken places. (well ok, He has already started but I needed to give Him permission to continue.) The truth is I no longer want to hide away in my brokenness. I need to be whole again. I need to connect with others in ways I have not in many many many years. I admit it is very scary. I know that when you open yourself up you run the risk of being hurt... oh yes, I know that very well. However, I need to do this to continue to become the women God wants me to be. I need to be willing to risk the hurt to have the opportunity to be whole.

So many changes so fast and furiously in my life... my head continues to spin. I really believe that God is afraid to allow me to slow down for fear I will catch my breath and run in the other direction... Lol... The truth is, most of the time I am beginning to enjoy very much the wonderful journey God has me on. this part however is very scary and I need your prayers probably more than I ever have before.

Just to share with you how AWESOME our God is though... when I came into my office to find a new box of tissues I found laying on my desk a small book called His Princess (love letters from your King) I picked it up and opened it randomly to a page and this is what I read...

Matthew 28:20 "and be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the End of the Age"

My Princess... You're never alone. You never need to hold on to anyone out of fear of being alone, My precious princess. I am with you wherever you are. I am the friend who walks in when the world walks out. I created you to have strong relationships, My love, and I see your desire to be close to someone. If you will seek Me first and come to Me with your wants and needs, I will choose your friends for you. I also will bless those friendships abundantly. Don't settle for less than My best just to fill your schedule with People to see and places to go. I want to reach you with the reality of My presence in you first., and then you will be ready for real relationships that are orchestrated by Me. Love your King and your Best Friend

How amazingly awesome is that... wow...

Blessings to you all,

Kathy

He chose us!

Ephesians 1 4-5 tells us "for He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will.

He chose us??? He chose me???? He chose you??? How amazing is that to you? to me it is unimaginable to think that the one who created the universe and all the people in it, who knew in advance who I would be, actually chose me? oh wait a min, that is not the end of the sentence is it... He chose us to be holy and blameless in his sight... well there goes that, right? No way can I be holy or blameless... sigh.... I knew it was too good to be true. So now what? How could God who knows everything choose me to be holy and blameless? it goes on to say he predestined us to be adopted as His sons through jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will. Did I mess that up too by not be holy and blameless? sure seems that way. Sure feels that way... huh?

This is what makes what Jesus did the most amazing thing! this is where we need to look at Jewish laws and customs... Scripture tells us that Jesus is our High Priest, what does that mean? and how does it relate to these verses? Well, in the Jewish temple prior to Jesus death and resurrection the High priest was the one who took the sacrifices into the holy of holies, which was into the presence of God himself. If God was satisfied with the sacrifice and he accepted it on behalf of the people the priest returned to bless the people. if God did not find the sacrifice (or the priest) acceptable God struck him down. Jesus being our High Priest was to say he was our sacrifice. God did find Him an acceptable sacrifice and High Priest, so when God looks at us (or as it says in verse 4 above) that we are holy and blameless in His sight. it is because He (God) is actually looking upon Jesus and not us. that means that I do not need to feel like I cannot live up to being holy and blameless, because I have accepted Jesus as my high priest, He goes before God on my behalf. AMAZING!!! That is the love it talks about in verse 5 when it says in love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ! it is through Jesus Christ that I become like Him, a child of God!!! So much more than I can comprehend... so much more than I could ever live up to... so much more!!!!! Love.... Imagine a love like that.... He chose me and knowing I could not be all I needed to be, to be His child, He provided a way though Jesus for me to become all that He wanted me to be! it is Him not me... this verse says it was in accordance to His pleasure and will... He did it for His pleasure and because He willed it. I will never understand why it was that He believed it would bring Him pleasure to have me for His child...

So let me ask you this... what are you going to do today to bring God pleasure? did you do something yesterday that you know brought pleasure to God? spend some time thinking about that. Join me in making a list of all the things you would like to do to bring God pleasure. then pull out your calendar and add one or two of them to your calendar. schedule time this week to do a couple of things that you know will bring Him pleasure. What a joy to do things for one we love that we know will make them smile. I love the idea of making God smile!!!

Blessings,

A Deeper Love

MAY YOU EXPERIENCE THE LOVE OF CHRIST, THOUGH IT IS SO GREAT YOU WILL NEVER FULLY UNDERSTAND IT. THEN YOU WILL BE FILLED WITH THE FULLNESS OF LIFE AND POWER THAT COMES FROM GOD. Ephesians 3:19

There are no words to describe how much God loves us. That is why He stretched out His arms of love and died for us. I know sometimes I don't feel lovable, but I know I do not need to earn His affection. Scripture tells us that he takes great delight in us. and that we need never doubt His commitment to us. He is the Lover of our soul. So I need to open up and let Him meet my needs, to allow Him to set me free from searching for false love in the wrong places. To let Him hold on to my heart and fill it up with eternal love. I know that when I do that I will feel His holy presence and will fall even deeper in love with Him.

New place to worship - New Attitude

OK, so today I ventured out by myself to a very different worship service. different in many ways. Familiar in all the ways that count.

I must admit that it was difficult to get up and get ready and head out by myself to someplace that I knew I would not know anyone. I had three churches in mind for the past two weeks that I have planned on visiting. That is until I realized that the reason I was considering those three was that I would know someone there. once again I was trying to find some measure of comfort in an experience I knew would put me way outside my comfort zone. So after spending sometime last night in prayer and reflecting on somethings a couple of wonderful mature Christians have shared with me when discussing this new path God is guiding me down, I started thinking about and looking on line for information on churches that were not your typical church. But ones that were refreshing, growing and touching the communities they are in. I chose one that is fairly close to my home. One that is touching my community. It was in every way different from the traditional Baptist church I have been attending for the past 15 years. I guess I needed that. My first impressions were mixed. A store front instead of a church building with a steeple a "coffee house" instead of a fellowship hall? chairs instead of pews... a woman leading worship? no choir or worship band? just three women on stage with mikes and a DVD playing on a projection screen? OK, Kathy close your eyes and worship... Worship the one you came to worship.... AHHHH there He is! Yes, My God and my King was by my side... wait... what is that? an alter call at the beginning of the service? that was interesting... that was amazing! To see and hear others get real with God to hear others get emotional and right with God. Isn't that what it is really all about? Hmmmm. The Message was delivered by the senior pastor, at the very beginning they passed out bibles to any who did not have one and they encouraged everyone to find the passages that were referenced (and there were many of them) to go to them and read them for themselves. The message was based on a significant principle taught by God in the very beginning and taught by Jesus himself here on earth. Praise God he is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow! He inhabits the praise of His people no matter where the gather. Communion... not sure since today is the first of the month if it is a monthly thing or a weekly thing... once again completely different. No little cups were passed around instead Elders actually broke a large loaf of bread and invited all believers who had prepared themselves according to scripture to come forward break a piece from the loaf and dip it into the new wine and partake as Christ commanded His disciples to do. To finish a comforting old hymn... sung in a new way.

Lots to ponder, lots to consider, lots to pray about... God is good and God is faithful... Only God alone knows where I will be next Sunday morning...