checking our motives...

During my walk this morning I found I needed to spend some time checking my motives. Last night as I was spending time in the word after an emotional day and some even more heart touching conversation with a friend I found myself in the word of God at 1 Peter 1:14-16 "As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct. Since it is written, you shall be holy for I am holy."

I started my walk having a conversation in my head with this friend I was talking to last night. You know the kind of conversation I am talking about... the one you want to have but probably never will. The one where you share ALL your thoughts not just the ones you feel might be acceptable and not step over the line. The conversation you wish you could have but are afraid to... I thought about what might happen if I really was bold and courageous enough to have that conversation with this friend, Then I did what I should have done at the beginning of my walk... I prayed about it. I asked my Heavenly Father to show me if this conversation was appropriate and found myself thinking about my motives. What was I hoping to accomplish with the conversation? What was my hoped for outcome If I was to have the conversation? I realized in that moment something that King Solomon talked about in Ecclesiastes 3:7 "there is a time to keep silent and a time to speak". the one with wisdom knows the difference. and I believe there are some things better left unsaid for the duration. Especially when the motivation to speak the thoughts is not as it should be. Once again checking my motives I began to understand why I wanted to have the conversation that was rattling around in my head.

I was reminded of a devotional I was reading the night before from Frances J. Roberts "Come Away My Beloved" titled Conviction and Forgiveness. This devotional is written from the perspective of God speaking to us. The part of the devotional that convicted me was where he tells us "You are indulgent when I have called you to rigid discipline. You speak soft words when I would require you to speak the truth. You interfere with the convicting work of My Holy Spirit when you smooth over confession. I am not a severe God, unmindful of the frailties of human nature; but I am a God of divine love and holiness, and I desire your fellowship, and I long for you to know My joy" Man cannot forgive sin. Why do you then excuse either yourself or your brother? Before Me you stand or fall. Confess your faults one to another, and pray for one another that you may be perfected. Rebuke, warn, and exhort each other with all long-suffering and patience, Love and forgive each other, but do not lighten conviction. My love and holiness are beyond your comprehension, I do not love you because you are sinless (how then could I love any?), but I am able to receive you into My fellowship and bring you close to My heart on the merits of the shed blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. Here rests your hope of cleansing and acceptance."

In the remembering of this devotional, I was convicted that the thoughts and the "conversation" was in no way meant to edify or exhort the other. It was a deception of the enemy trying to destroy the work God is doing in our lives. My motives in wanting to have the conversation were not holy or pure, and would not serve any good purpose. although they are honest and sincere thoughts and feelings this is truly a time to be silent.

I also need to take a long hard look at my motivation for things I am doing. Why am I doing the things I am doing... that may be tomorrow mornings conversation and walk/talk with my God... stay tuned...

blessings everyone,