letting go

Today is one of those days where my first instincts tell me that I want to stop time. or at least slow it down... to a super slow pace... tomorrow my son Shawn will be moving almost a thousand miles away to Washington DC. it is a wonderful move... it is a wonderful opportunity for him, and will be a good positive start to his life as an adult. However, my mommy heart is heavy and I am finding it hard to breath today. I did not expect this. I truly did not... I guess in some ways I do not feel like my job of mothering him is complete there seems to be so much I wanted to teach him and did not for a multitude of reasons have the opportunity or did not take the opportunity to teach him. Things I want to say and have not said...


I have shared this with a few close friends and they have all told me pretty much the same things... then today when doing my devotions I poured out my heart to God... then pulled off my desk a devotional that I had been follwoing each day this year, yet over the past several weeks had left it to collect dust... when I opened it up this morning the book mark was on July 17th... I turned to todays devotional of August 23rd and this is what I read...

ENTRUST YOUR LOVED ONES TO ME;

Release them into My protective care. They are much safer with Me than in your clinging hands. If you let a loved one become and idol in your heart, you endanger that one--as well s yourself. Remember the extreme measures I used with Abraham and Isaac. I took Isaac to the very point of death to free Abraham from son-worship Both Abraham and Isaac suffered terribly because of the father's undisciplined emotions. I detest idolatry, even in the form of parental love.

When you release loved ones to me, you are free to cling to My hand, as you entrust others into My care, I am free to shower blessings on them. My presence will go with them wherever they go , and i will give them rest. This same Presence stays with you, as you relax and place your trust in Me. Watch to see what I will do.

OUCH!! talk about hitting the mark and stepping on toes...

So my question to myself is this... had I placed him in a place of worship??? I don't think so, I think what I had placed there was my need to be the perfect parent... it was my skills that I am questioning... I had a very wise friend tell me that about a week or so ago... not in those exact words but to the tune of "anything left undone was not my responsibility to do... it may need to be others that teach those lessons... there are just some things a mother cannot teach. " So I am gonna spend some time on my knees releasing him into His Heavenly Fathers care one more time.... and I will ask Him to release me of this need to get it all right. perfectionism is a nasty jailer... Thankfully Jesus my Lord and Saviour came to set the captives free!!! Thank you!!!

well my friends, Thank you for holding me up in prayer as I walk through the next phase of my journey... it seems there is still some stinkin thinkin goin on that needs to be cleaned up!

Blessings to you all