As 2009 draws to a close I have spent time over the past several weeks taking what I hope is an honest look back over the past year. It has been a year of major changes. I went back to my post from January and then even some from 2008 and as I read back over these posts I also realized it was a year of extremes, extreme changes to be exact. As a result my mind and my body and my emotions and even my spiritual life are all under extreme stress and as a result I am floundering....
I really do not like this feeling of being so unsettled, of being uncertain. The biggest reason I don't like it is that it has resulted in me being or feeling like I am stagnant and without passion. I feel like a spectator not a participant in life. I recognize there are a lot of lies the enemy is chasing through my head right now. Lots of old tapes that keep playing untruths. I also see that I am involved intimately day by day and min by min in ministry. It has become such a part of my life that it is just normal life for me. I also acknowledge that there is more truth in my head then lies. So why do I even acknowledge the lies. Why do I even give them consideration? Someone told me last week that it is totally possible that God is honoring my cry for total transformation in my life. and that all of this may be the result of that... God truly making me into someone completely different than who I now am... Maybe into the person He created me to be? If nothing else I do know this.... God is faithful and will complete the work He is doing in us!
I challenge each of you to take some time to truly examine where you have been the past year and pray about where and who and what God would have for you in 2010.
Blessings my friends,
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Zachariah
This morning as I sat down to do my devotions, after an amazing walk in the "cool" of the early morning spent worshiping my God, and watching the sun rise, I found myself laughing out loud. My devotion this morning is about Zachariah. Nine months ago when I was preparing for a Ladies Conference I had prepared a presentation all about Zachariah, however, God must not have been impressed since He did not have me actually deliver the presentation. Well maybe it just wasn't time for me to learn the lessons God wanted me to learn about Zachariah.... stay with me folks... the title of my devotion this week is "Our Power Supply" When I read the introduction and the beginning of my daily devotional I immediately understood God's prompting all those months ago to go to Zachariah for inspiration.
Zachariah was one of God's prophets; a man called to bring God's word to God's people. History tells us that Zachariah's prophecies began two months after Haggai's first message- a message that urged God's people to quit ignoring the shabby condition of God's house and begin to rebuild the Temple, as He desired. God sent Zachariah to encourage and strengthen the people who had just begun rebuilding the Lord's house in obedience to God's world through Haggai.
Our Gracious God wanted His people to remain faithful and establish a close relationship with their Lord rather than merely working on a remodeling project. God wanted to use the rebuilding of the Temple as an opportunity to rebuild the faith and trust of the people who had ignored the Lord;s voice for way too long. God knew that the physical condition of the Temple was indicative of a much deeper problem. In the same way, the Lord calls us to enter into a close relationship with Him, even as we restore the body that years of not taking care of ourselves has torn down. Just as God used the prophet Zachariah to remind His people that they needed Him, He uses programs such as First Place 4 Health to remind us that a love relationship with Him is our first priority.
I am learning that when I put God in the proper place in my life "First Place" then He gives me the power to accomplish the things He wants me to accomplish in my life... including.... are you ready.... becoming truly HEALTHY in all areas of my life, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual and PHYSICAL. In fact God is probably more concerned with the Mental, Emotional and Spiritual than He is with the Physical... since the physical is only temporary.... hmmmmmmm more food for thought.
Blessings everyone!
Zachariah was one of God's prophets; a man called to bring God's word to God's people. History tells us that Zachariah's prophecies began two months after Haggai's first message- a message that urged God's people to quit ignoring the shabby condition of God's house and begin to rebuild the Temple, as He desired. God sent Zachariah to encourage and strengthen the people who had just begun rebuilding the Lord's house in obedience to God's world through Haggai.
Our Gracious God wanted His people to remain faithful and establish a close relationship with their Lord rather than merely working on a remodeling project. God wanted to use the rebuilding of the Temple as an opportunity to rebuild the faith and trust of the people who had ignored the Lord;s voice for way too long. God knew that the physical condition of the Temple was indicative of a much deeper problem. In the same way, the Lord calls us to enter into a close relationship with Him, even as we restore the body that years of not taking care of ourselves has torn down. Just as God used the prophet Zachariah to remind His people that they needed Him, He uses programs such as First Place 4 Health to remind us that a love relationship with Him is our first priority.
I am learning that when I put God in the proper place in my life "First Place" then He gives me the power to accomplish the things He wants me to accomplish in my life... including.... are you ready.... becoming truly HEALTHY in all areas of my life, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual and PHYSICAL. In fact God is probably more concerned with the Mental, Emotional and Spiritual than He is with the Physical... since the physical is only temporary.... hmmmmmmm more food for thought.
Blessings everyone!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Romans 12:1 - A living sacrifice
Let's be honest does that even sound like something to get excited about? A living sacrifice??? No I didn't think so either. In the 29 years of being a Christian I have never been partial to this verse... It doe's not fit into my picture of living the American dream. What we want is a life of ease, not sacrifice. A life of plenty, not sacrifice, A life of excess actually if we are honest, not anything remotely like sacrifice. No matter how you view the word sacrifice, no matter which definition you choose it is not necessarily something I was comfortable with in my life.
This morning this verse was a part of my devotions. I stumbled over it... even reading it caused me to stutter. I however decided I needed to pray about it and meditate on it to get a better understanding of it in relationship to my First Place 4 Health program. (that is the devotional I was working on at the time) I decided it was time to "face the music" so to speak. So on went my walking shoes and out the door I went to "Walk with God" and listen to Him a bit.
here is the results of that time...
I asked God to help reveal to me what the truth was in this verse I needed to figure out and apply to my life. He brought to mind that for far too many years, after reading this verse for the first time, All I could focus on when reading it was the "Holy and acceptable to God" part of the verse. I knew I was not holy and could not figure our a way to be holy. So I knew I would never be acceptable. So I felt helpless... As the years past I knew that presenting my body as a living sacrifice meant I needed to do a bit of sacrificing... sacrificing on the portions sizes and sacrificing on my time spent "relaxing" and get moving... yet, since no matter what, I could not figure out how to be holy... well what was the point, so I would "skip" over this verse each time I read Romans. Which I must admit was not often. I really liked to just skip over the whole book... honestly I got mad at Paul the first time I read Romans and "heard" Paul say... "I do not do the things I want to do instead I do the very things I hate" i thought if even this great man of God cannot do the right thing then what hope is there for me? So I just got frustrated whenever I would read Romans so... well... I just did not read it! How arrogant I was when I was younger... whew! unfortunately this thinking kinda stuck... I will confess I still just kind of "skim" though Romans. or pick out verses that I think apply to a specific situation. (must be time to do a complete study on Romans) Anyway, back on topic... I was walking and seeking answers from God and realized that this thinking from when I was younger about not being holy and then not wanting to "sacrifice" anything especially my favorite foods and my "comfort" led to the enemy telling me I was a failure, always would be a failure and I believed his lies... I have not consciously thought that in years, but this is part of the wrong thinking deeply embedded in my brain. Thinking that needs to be rooted out and tossed in the trash heap since it is trash! trash the enemy has filled my head with. Truth is... No I am not Holy, can never be holy in and by myself. It is only through Christ. it is His holiness that God sees when He looks at me. I will sin, I will make mistakes, I have a sin nature that will never go away until I pass over into eternity. However, I need to strive to allow God to continue to transform me each and every day. I need to understand I cannot do it! I cannot make myself holy, I cannot make myself acceptable to God in anyway other than to submit to Him. Surrender all of my life to Him. Surrender my wants and desires even my battles. I need to allow Him to fight them. Allow Him to give me the strength to get up and get moving each morning, allow Him to give me the strength and the ability to say no and mean it when offered something that is unhealthy for me. Allow Him to direct my path away from the chips or the ice cream or what ever isle in grocery store holds the most temptation for me this week. He can and He will. He also will provide for me healthy and flavorful and amazing treats that will strengthen me physically, emotionally and mentally while He builds me up in the spiritual. He will be faithful to fulfill ALL of His promises to me if I allow Him to. He will walk with me to help me get moving. He will be in the gym with me cheering me on. He will share truth with me and help me pull the lies out of my mind that are wrapping their roots deeply into my subconscious mind and making me feel so defeated. He will encourage me and build me up in His loves me and delights in healing the emotions that have been trampled on by so many. He and He alone can and will heal my broken places, help me to let go of my bad habits, and throw away the hangups that have immobilized me for so many years. I CANNOT DO IT!!!! only HE CAN!!!! I need to quit trying to do His job, and instead get out of His way giving Him permission to do the work necessary to make me healthy.
God is so AWESOME.... I will continue to bask in the repair work He is so faithfully doing in my life! I pray that you are allowing Him to do some in your life as well...
Blessings,
This morning this verse was a part of my devotions. I stumbled over it... even reading it caused me to stutter. I however decided I needed to pray about it and meditate on it to get a better understanding of it in relationship to my First Place 4 Health program. (that is the devotional I was working on at the time) I decided it was time to "face the music" so to speak. So on went my walking shoes and out the door I went to "Walk with God" and listen to Him a bit.
here is the results of that time...
I asked God to help reveal to me what the truth was in this verse I needed to figure out and apply to my life. He brought to mind that for far too many years, after reading this verse for the first time, All I could focus on when reading it was the "Holy and acceptable to God" part of the verse. I knew I was not holy and could not figure our a way to be holy. So I knew I would never be acceptable. So I felt helpless... As the years past I knew that presenting my body as a living sacrifice meant I needed to do a bit of sacrificing... sacrificing on the portions sizes and sacrificing on my time spent "relaxing" and get moving... yet, since no matter what, I could not figure out how to be holy... well what was the point, so I would "skip" over this verse each time I read Romans. Which I must admit was not often. I really liked to just skip over the whole book... honestly I got mad at Paul the first time I read Romans and "heard" Paul say... "I do not do the things I want to do instead I do the very things I hate" i thought if even this great man of God cannot do the right thing then what hope is there for me? So I just got frustrated whenever I would read Romans so... well... I just did not read it! How arrogant I was when I was younger... whew! unfortunately this thinking kinda stuck... I will confess I still just kind of "skim" though Romans. or pick out verses that I think apply to a specific situation. (must be time to do a complete study on Romans) Anyway, back on topic... I was walking and seeking answers from God and realized that this thinking from when I was younger about not being holy and then not wanting to "sacrifice" anything especially my favorite foods and my "comfort" led to the enemy telling me I was a failure, always would be a failure and I believed his lies... I have not consciously thought that in years, but this is part of the wrong thinking deeply embedded in my brain. Thinking that needs to be rooted out and tossed in the trash heap since it is trash! trash the enemy has filled my head with. Truth is... No I am not Holy, can never be holy in and by myself. It is only through Christ. it is His holiness that God sees when He looks at me. I will sin, I will make mistakes, I have a sin nature that will never go away until I pass over into eternity. However, I need to strive to allow God to continue to transform me each and every day. I need to understand I cannot do it! I cannot make myself holy, I cannot make myself acceptable to God in anyway other than to submit to Him. Surrender all of my life to Him. Surrender my wants and desires even my battles. I need to allow Him to fight them. Allow Him to give me the strength to get up and get moving each morning, allow Him to give me the strength and the ability to say no and mean it when offered something that is unhealthy for me. Allow Him to direct my path away from the chips or the ice cream or what ever isle in grocery store holds the most temptation for me this week. He can and He will. He also will provide for me healthy and flavorful and amazing treats that will strengthen me physically, emotionally and mentally while He builds me up in the spiritual. He will be faithful to fulfill ALL of His promises to me if I allow Him to. He will walk with me to help me get moving. He will be in the gym with me cheering me on. He will share truth with me and help me pull the lies out of my mind that are wrapping their roots deeply into my subconscious mind and making me feel so defeated. He will encourage me and build me up in His loves me and delights in healing the emotions that have been trampled on by so many. He and He alone can and will heal my broken places, help me to let go of my bad habits, and throw away the hangups that have immobilized me for so many years. I CANNOT DO IT!!!! only HE CAN!!!! I need to quit trying to do His job, and instead get out of His way giving Him permission to do the work necessary to make me healthy.
God is so AWESOME.... I will continue to bask in the repair work He is so faithfully doing in my life! I pray that you are allowing Him to do some in your life as well...
Blessings,
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Defining and Refining our Vision
I love how God takes us through different seasons in life. I am beginning to appreciate how during different seasons of life how our dreams change, and things that were once very important are no longer so important and things we once thought insignificant become vitally important! I understand there are lessons learned, relationships built and concepts embraced. Then just as the winds begin to blow in a different direction things begin to shift. there are new questions, relationships change and concepts are refined. Solomon spoke of this in Ecclesiastics chapter 3 in his "time for everything" verses... you know the ones, For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest.... and so on. (if you are not familiar with them look them up and read them. Remember Solomon was the wisest man whom ever lived!)
well all that to say that I have been working on a vision board. I had heard of this concept many years ago, even did one or two in my teens. then had the concept reintroduced to me earlier this week and was inspired to work on one. Interestingly today while working on collecting some pictures to represent things in life I want to be a part of my life. I discovered something very interesting...
I was irresistibly and incredibly drawn to pictures of people and things outdoors. I started to notice all the photos I was tearing out of magazines were in outdoor settings. I started to think about this and pray for God to reveal to me what this was about... Because the truth is I an not a very outdoor kind of person. After some time in prayer, I realized that has not always been true. All of my earliest memories are of being outdoors. I remembered a conversation that must have taken place when I was in first grade between my parents in the family car while driving. We had just visited two different homes. My parents had decided to sell the farm and move into town. On the way back to the farm, Mom and Dad were discussing the merits of the each home trying to decided if one or the other would be the best for us. Dad turns and looks at me and with a big smile on his face says to mom... "I know which one Kathy would like. her eyes lit up and just sparkled with she seen the large back yard and the beautiful flower gardens at the one on such and such street. She was already to set up her play area right in the middle of the yard." What a sweet wonderful memory! I realize that it was moving to Florida several years after that, and trying to deal with the heat that made me an indoor hermit. I suddenly miss very much being outside!
I sure wish the weather would turn cooler so I could spend some time outside... I'm gonna have to give this some serious thought and spend some time in prayer about it.
I encourage you to tackle a vision board... not sure what one is google it!
Blessings my friends,
well all that to say that I have been working on a vision board. I had heard of this concept many years ago, even did one or two in my teens. then had the concept reintroduced to me earlier this week and was inspired to work on one. Interestingly today while working on collecting some pictures to represent things in life I want to be a part of my life. I discovered something very interesting...
I was irresistibly and incredibly drawn to pictures of people and things outdoors. I started to notice all the photos I was tearing out of magazines were in outdoor settings. I started to think about this and pray for God to reveal to me what this was about... Because the truth is I an not a very outdoor kind of person. After some time in prayer, I realized that has not always been true. All of my earliest memories are of being outdoors. I remembered a conversation that must have taken place when I was in first grade between my parents in the family car while driving. We had just visited two different homes. My parents had decided to sell the farm and move into town. On the way back to the farm, Mom and Dad were discussing the merits of the each home trying to decided if one or the other would be the best for us. Dad turns and looks at me and with a big smile on his face says to mom... "I know which one Kathy would like. her eyes lit up and just sparkled with she seen the large back yard and the beautiful flower gardens at the one on such and such street. She was already to set up her play area right in the middle of the yard." What a sweet wonderful memory! I realize that it was moving to Florida several years after that, and trying to deal with the heat that made me an indoor hermit. I suddenly miss very much being outside!
I sure wish the weather would turn cooler so I could spend some time outside... I'm gonna have to give this some serious thought and spend some time in prayer about it.
I encourage you to tackle a vision board... not sure what one is google it!
Blessings my friends,
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Do we really Believe?
This morning as part of my devotions I had one of those DUH moments! Understanding something in a conceptual way is one things, yet when all of a sudden we "Get it" and we can apply it to our lives... that is a DUH moment! This was one of those moments.
I was reading 2 Chronicles 20: 20 - 24 as part of my First Place 4 Health Bible Study. Here are those verses so you also can read them.
20 Early in the morning they left for the Desert of Tekoa. As they set out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, "Listen to me, Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the LORD your God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful." 21 After consulting the people, Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the LORD and to praise him for the splendor of his holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying:
"Give thanks to the LORD,
for his love endures forever."
22 As they began to sing and praise, the LORD set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated. 23 The men of Ammon and Moab rose up against the men from Mount Seir to destroy and annihilate them. After they finished slaughtering the men from Seir, they helped to destroy one another.
24 When the men of Judah came to the place that overlooks the desert and looked toward the vast army, they saw only dead bodies lying on the ground; no one had escaped."
So, the first thing I see here is that Because of the men going before the army singing praises to God, God is pleased and goes ahead of them and defeats their enemy before they ever arrive. I have to wonder since I know God is the same yesterday today and tomorrow. How many times God went ahead of me and defeated my enemies before I ever arrived in their presence and I never even knew it? and how if I had been singing praises to my God thanking Him for His loving kindness to me, praising Him for His faithfulness, How many battles could I have avoided?
The second truth that jumped up and smacked me in the head this morning was Sometimes the battle is not our but God's. How many times do I try fighting battles that God never intended for me to fight? How many times do I fret and fuss and worry about something, worrying about how I am going to accomplish something when it seems impossible. I play it over and over in my head. Let's go back t the verses above... in verse 20 Jehoshaphat tells them to "Have faith in the LORD your God and you will be upheld;" so if I truly had faith, If I truly believed in God's faithfulness to me I would not worry about it. I would not fret about it because I would know it would all be OK. Just like it was here for the army. because they had faith in God, because they went about their way praising God for His lovingkindness, God went before them and destroyed their enemies before they ever arrived. Now if you move on to verse 25 you will see not only did God fight the battle for them... He blessed them beyond measure!
So I ask you how many of us are missing out on blessings, overflowing blessings, because we fail to trust God and to Praise Him for His lovingkindness?
none of this is new information to me... But today I seen it in a very new way! Hopefully starting now and for all my tomorrows I will apply it in a whole new way!
Blessings,
I was reading 2 Chronicles 20: 20 - 24 as part of my First Place 4 Health Bible Study. Here are those verses so you also can read them.
20 Early in the morning they left for the Desert of Tekoa. As they set out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, "Listen to me, Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the LORD your God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful." 21 After consulting the people, Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the LORD and to praise him for the splendor of his holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying:
"Give thanks to the LORD,
for his love endures forever."
22 As they began to sing and praise, the LORD set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated. 23 The men of Ammon and Moab rose up against the men from Mount Seir to destroy and annihilate them. After they finished slaughtering the men from Seir, they helped to destroy one another.
24 When the men of Judah came to the place that overlooks the desert and looked toward the vast army, they saw only dead bodies lying on the ground; no one had escaped."
So, the first thing I see here is that Because of the men going before the army singing praises to God, God is pleased and goes ahead of them and defeats their enemy before they ever arrive. I have to wonder since I know God is the same yesterday today and tomorrow. How many times God went ahead of me and defeated my enemies before I ever arrived in their presence and I never even knew it? and how if I had been singing praises to my God thanking Him for His loving kindness to me, praising Him for His faithfulness, How many battles could I have avoided?
The second truth that jumped up and smacked me in the head this morning was Sometimes the battle is not our but God's. How many times do I try fighting battles that God never intended for me to fight? How many times do I fret and fuss and worry about something, worrying about how I am going to accomplish something when it seems impossible. I play it over and over in my head. Let's go back t the verses above... in verse 20 Jehoshaphat tells them to "Have faith in the LORD your God and you will be upheld;" so if I truly had faith, If I truly believed in God's faithfulness to me I would not worry about it. I would not fret about it because I would know it would all be OK. Just like it was here for the army. because they had faith in God, because they went about their way praising God for His lovingkindness, God went before them and destroyed their enemies before they ever arrived. Now if you move on to verse 25 you will see not only did God fight the battle for them... He blessed them beyond measure!
So I ask you how many of us are missing out on blessings, overflowing blessings, because we fail to trust God and to Praise Him for His lovingkindness?
none of this is new information to me... But today I seen it in a very new way! Hopefully starting now and for all my tomorrows I will apply it in a whole new way!
Blessings,
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Surrender sweet Surrender
Why is it that we fight so hard the sweet release we feel once we surrender? Why is it that we so very much fight to hang on to the things we know we need to surrender? especially when we have been down the trail to surrender and found it to be such a sweet sweet place and the joy of freedom we find on on the other side has no equal does it?
After my long battle with trying to maintain some small grasp of control of my life, last Sunday I finally gave in and surrendered it all to God. I went forward at church and requested prayer from the pastor regarding me getting actively involved in the ministry God would place me in at this church. Then made the phone calls I needed to make to be obedient to Gods direction to pull out of things I had no business being committed to. (good things, just not things God wants me to focus on right now) Then this afternoon I had a long conversation with the pastor at my new church. I shared my testimony with him and some of the highlights of the ministries I have been involved in over the past few years and some of the things God has done in my life. He was quite interested and wants to continue the conversation soon. I have told him to please be in prayer regarding where I might be able to serve the congregation. I told him I am there because I believe that is where God wants me to be and that I am wiling to serve where He believes I can best be of assistance to the church body.
I cannot begin to tell you what a wonderful sweet feeling it was to finally take that step and be willing to do whatever it is that God would have me do here at this church.
So again I ask why is it that we fight so hard letting go and surrendering to the will of God in our lives?
After my long battle with trying to maintain some small grasp of control of my life, last Sunday I finally gave in and surrendered it all to God. I went forward at church and requested prayer from the pastor regarding me getting actively involved in the ministry God would place me in at this church. Then made the phone calls I needed to make to be obedient to Gods direction to pull out of things I had no business being committed to. (good things, just not things God wants me to focus on right now) Then this afternoon I had a long conversation with the pastor at my new church. I shared my testimony with him and some of the highlights of the ministries I have been involved in over the past few years and some of the things God has done in my life. He was quite interested and wants to continue the conversation soon. I have told him to please be in prayer regarding where I might be able to serve the congregation. I told him I am there because I believe that is where God wants me to be and that I am wiling to serve where He believes I can best be of assistance to the church body.
I cannot begin to tell you what a wonderful sweet feeling it was to finally take that step and be willing to do whatever it is that God would have me do here at this church.
So again I ask why is it that we fight so hard letting go and surrendering to the will of God in our lives?
Sunday, September 20, 2009
His will not mine...
I have never been so frustrated in my life, as I am today. At least not that I can remember. I am going to try to share where I am right now and how I am feeling. I apologize in advance for how real this is about to get... I just know that I have to put this into words so I can go back and read it until I get it...
I had been walking on a mountain top for several months. Then in a matter of a few days I came sliding down the side of that mountain into a very deep valley. I know that it is all part of God shaping me to be the women He wants me to be and part of that is simply learning to listen to Him and obeying Him. bowing gracefully to His will for my life and not mine. I have for the past two months now been heavily engaged in a battle for control of ALL of my life. Every single activity and minute. right here this morning I have been trying to complete an activity that should take just minutes. Yet every time I try to accomplish it, I can't, I forget how to do simple things that I know how to do. I cannot find the tools on the toolbar. I draw a blank when trying to think thought the simplest steps. The sad part of this frustration is this is something That I hear God telling me not to do, yet I keep trying to do. This is not the direction He wants me to go in. This is not an activity I should be doing. I don't really believe that the activity itself is such a big deal to God. It is my obedience. It is me learning to say no. It is me doing the things God wants me to do without being sidetracked by other "good" things. It is me being more concerned with what God thinks and not so much about what others think of me. it is me not being able to repay all that God has done for me. it is me understanding that God chooses to bless me and favor me not for what I will do in return to repay it, but allowing myself to be blessed. Not that there is anything "bad" in me helping others. we are supposed to help others. the issue here is my motive. Why I am doing these things. My motive is wrong. My thinking is wrong. I am doing these things because I want to please the people. I want to payback in some way the blessings they have been in my life. Pay back the hands that delivered to me the Gifts my Lord wanted to give me. It is me needing to understand that God has a plan for my life and I need to follow that plan. I need to learn to not get so bogged down with all the good things I am doing, that I am unable to give 100% to the thing or things He wants me to do.
It is, bottom line... me being obedient to God's calling on MY life, and becoming the women He wants ME to become.
I have two very dear friends that I have agreed to do things for. that I know I have to call and tell them I can not do the things I agreed to do. My heart hurts so much over this. I do not want to disappoint these women, who are both counting on me to do these things. both are things I want to do. but I also realize that my motives are not correct, nor is my reasoning for wanting to do them. I also know that I need to learn to stop and pray about things before agreeing to do them. I need to count the cost before agreeing to do things. and even simple things that I should be able to handle quickly and efficiently I need to do this for. Because lots of little small tasks have the ability to keep my focus off those things God would have me be involved in. I also know that God is not going to allow these two wonderful women to be left in the lurch. He will raise up others to do these things for them. I wish it could be me... I know that it is not. I also know my God is faithful to supply all our needs and He will supply the needs of these two women as well.
Another part of this, and another situation I find myself in, is I struggle with just accepting God's gifts and blessings. I find myself wanting to in some way repay those who are the hands of blessing in my life. I find that I cannot repay them, and so I feel guilty for accepting the blessings. All wrong thinking I know. I know that those who God is using to bless me would be upset if they knew how I was feeling. (so if you are one of those people in my life and you are reading this please don't be upset, instead pray that God truly heals me in this area of my life) That is truly what this is all about. this is just another part of God's faithfulness in my life to help me achieve health. remember this journey I am on is not just about physical health but also about spiritual, emotional and mental health. That's it!!!! This is all about spiritual, emotional and mental health!
Yes, I get it... I just need to really GET IT! and be able to APPLY IT!!! now that is where the rubber meets the road. Scripture tells us to confess our sins one to another. and so here it is... allow this to be my confession of how messed up my thinking is and how my messed up thinking has led me to sin by not counting the cost of things the way God has commanded us to. It has led me to sin by being more concerned with what others thought of me than being obedient to what God is asking me to do. I need to correct that today! I do not ever want to put others above God. Yet I have. I have been so concerned about what others might think, that I have not been obedient. I have to realize I cannot and should not attempt to repay anyone for what God is doing in my life by their words, deeds or hands. I need to Thank God for His provision and blessings and thank them for being Gods, hands, words and deeds in my life and leave it at that, unless God directs me otherwise.
Scripture also tells us to be a witness to others how God works in our lives. so here I show you how I have come to realize that this is all an exercise that God has orchestrated to show me His love and faithfulness and guidance and loving direction in my life. It is all a part of Him molding me and shaping me to become the women He would have me be. It is about me learning submission and surrender to His will not mine... Like the words of the Lincoln Brewster song... "I have given you my heart and all that is within me... I lay it all down, for the sake of you my King. I have given you my dreams, I'm laying down my lies, I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life, and I surrender, all to you... all to you... and I surrender, all to you... all to you!!!" Today I make this my prayer. one I will probably need to pray daily, maybe even hourly... I know that God knows my heart and God loves me and God forgives me. Even when I have days like this where I get frustrated and do not immediately get to where He would have me to be. I know that He is a gentle and patient Father who will love me in spite of it all. Our God is faithful, our God is all loving, all wise and truly does want the very best for us. He promised us that He came to give us life and life more abundant. He and He alone knows what that will be in our lives and He will bring it to pass, if we allow Him to!
Blessing to you all,
I had been walking on a mountain top for several months. Then in a matter of a few days I came sliding down the side of that mountain into a very deep valley. I know that it is all part of God shaping me to be the women He wants me to be and part of that is simply learning to listen to Him and obeying Him. bowing gracefully to His will for my life and not mine. I have for the past two months now been heavily engaged in a battle for control of ALL of my life. Every single activity and minute. right here this morning I have been trying to complete an activity that should take just minutes. Yet every time I try to accomplish it, I can't, I forget how to do simple things that I know how to do. I cannot find the tools on the toolbar. I draw a blank when trying to think thought the simplest steps. The sad part of this frustration is this is something That I hear God telling me not to do, yet I keep trying to do. This is not the direction He wants me to go in. This is not an activity I should be doing. I don't really believe that the activity itself is such a big deal to God. It is my obedience. It is me learning to say no. It is me doing the things God wants me to do without being sidetracked by other "good" things. It is me being more concerned with what God thinks and not so much about what others think of me. it is me not being able to repay all that God has done for me. it is me understanding that God chooses to bless me and favor me not for what I will do in return to repay it, but allowing myself to be blessed. Not that there is anything "bad" in me helping others. we are supposed to help others. the issue here is my motive. Why I am doing these things. My motive is wrong. My thinking is wrong. I am doing these things because I want to please the people. I want to payback in some way the blessings they have been in my life. Pay back the hands that delivered to me the Gifts my Lord wanted to give me. It is me needing to understand that God has a plan for my life and I need to follow that plan. I need to learn to not get so bogged down with all the good things I am doing, that I am unable to give 100% to the thing or things He wants me to do.
It is, bottom line... me being obedient to God's calling on MY life, and becoming the women He wants ME to become.
I have two very dear friends that I have agreed to do things for. that I know I have to call and tell them I can not do the things I agreed to do. My heart hurts so much over this. I do not want to disappoint these women, who are both counting on me to do these things. both are things I want to do. but I also realize that my motives are not correct, nor is my reasoning for wanting to do them. I also know that I need to learn to stop and pray about things before agreeing to do them. I need to count the cost before agreeing to do things. and even simple things that I should be able to handle quickly and efficiently I need to do this for. Because lots of little small tasks have the ability to keep my focus off those things God would have me be involved in. I also know that God is not going to allow these two wonderful women to be left in the lurch. He will raise up others to do these things for them. I wish it could be me... I know that it is not. I also know my God is faithful to supply all our needs and He will supply the needs of these two women as well.
Another part of this, and another situation I find myself in, is I struggle with just accepting God's gifts and blessings. I find myself wanting to in some way repay those who are the hands of blessing in my life. I find that I cannot repay them, and so I feel guilty for accepting the blessings. All wrong thinking I know. I know that those who God is using to bless me would be upset if they knew how I was feeling. (so if you are one of those people in my life and you are reading this please don't be upset, instead pray that God truly heals me in this area of my life) That is truly what this is all about. this is just another part of God's faithfulness in my life to help me achieve health. remember this journey I am on is not just about physical health but also about spiritual, emotional and mental health. That's it!!!! This is all about spiritual, emotional and mental health!
Yes, I get it... I just need to really GET IT! and be able to APPLY IT!!! now that is where the rubber meets the road. Scripture tells us to confess our sins one to another. and so here it is... allow this to be my confession of how messed up my thinking is and how my messed up thinking has led me to sin by not counting the cost of things the way God has commanded us to. It has led me to sin by being more concerned with what others thought of me than being obedient to what God is asking me to do. I need to correct that today! I do not ever want to put others above God. Yet I have. I have been so concerned about what others might think, that I have not been obedient. I have to realize I cannot and should not attempt to repay anyone for what God is doing in my life by their words, deeds or hands. I need to Thank God for His provision and blessings and thank them for being Gods, hands, words and deeds in my life and leave it at that, unless God directs me otherwise.
Scripture also tells us to be a witness to others how God works in our lives. so here I show you how I have come to realize that this is all an exercise that God has orchestrated to show me His love and faithfulness and guidance and loving direction in my life. It is all a part of Him molding me and shaping me to become the women He would have me be. It is about me learning submission and surrender to His will not mine... Like the words of the Lincoln Brewster song... "I have given you my heart and all that is within me... I lay it all down, for the sake of you my King. I have given you my dreams, I'm laying down my lies, I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life, and I surrender, all to you... all to you... and I surrender, all to you... all to you!!!" Today I make this my prayer. one I will probably need to pray daily, maybe even hourly... I know that God knows my heart and God loves me and God forgives me. Even when I have days like this where I get frustrated and do not immediately get to where He would have me to be. I know that He is a gentle and patient Father who will love me in spite of it all. Our God is faithful, our God is all loving, all wise and truly does want the very best for us. He promised us that He came to give us life and life more abundant. He and He alone knows what that will be in our lives and He will bring it to pass, if we allow Him to!
Blessing to you all,
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Perseverance
Perseverance is a word that has been hounding me for weeks... God does that sometimes to me, does He do that to you? When there is something He wants me to get, that word, thought, situation or process repeats itself over and over in my life! So it is with the word perseverance. the latest in a long string of incidents involving this is a conference call that was scheduled months ago. When the speaker was chosen and she chose her topic, just a week or so ago, she chose the topic of... yes, you guessed it, perseverance! Even more unusual at that point was another of the ladies who was going to be on the call when she heard the topic e-mailed back to everyone saying how much she needed that. I laughingly wrote back to everyone and said "you may need it but I know God intends for me to hear it!" This journey has been a long hard journey and I know that I have not been staying the course very well lately. Well the call did not happen the way we had hoped yet I am sure it is exactly how God intended. We did have a great call with just three of us sharing. The women who felt she needed the call, the presenter and I were the only ones on the call. It was a great time of sharing and praying! later in the day I received an e-mail from the presenter with some encouraging words and something in her e-mail got me thinking. I have been feeling a loss of passion in my life, feeling like maybe this was a time to slow down and reevaluate where I am in my spiritual life and my ministries. Maybe God was trying to prepare me for yet another part of my life to be in transition.I have been hearing “be still and know that I am God” and wondering if this is not a time of waiting in my life. God has been moving so fast and so furiously that many times I talked about my head spinning, because of the incredibly fast pace God was changing things in my life. I wondered, if this was not a much needed rest for my mind and body, to allow my heart to catch up with everything God is doing. However, after reading her e-mail I was reminded of how Satan tempted Jesus with scripture and even though Jesus was “hearing the word” it was not what God wanted for Him, so Jesus rebuked the enemy and all that he was tempting Him with. I agree that it is very tempting for me to slow down and take some time off to allow my heart and mind to catch up. Another dear friend, when we were talking a few weeks ago during my trip to NC, told me she was almost angry at what she was seeing and hearing from me. She believed it was the enemy trying to take back ground that God had already given to me…. At first I was shocked and completely resistant to the idea. Now I am not so sure. One thing I do know is that God is not the author of confusion. That would be the enemy. So since I am feeling very confused right now as to which way to allow my thoughts to flow I know that the enemy (even if this enemy is my own human nature) is at work in my life. I would ask for your prayers as I continue to struggle through all that is happening. I Know that my Lord is the victor in this battle. I know that He desires great and mighty things in my life. I also know that His greatest desire is for Him and I to have a relationship that is beyond description. I will choose to work on that for now and allow other things to naturally fall into place as I put Him in first place in my life. I know that there are good things He has prepared for me to do yet that is not His first desire for me. So I, like Mary of Bethany, will choose that which is better. I will choose for now to sit at His feet and listen to His voice. Want to join me?
Hmmmmm lots to think about and pray about.
Hmmmmm lots to think about and pray about.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Planting New Dreams
A few weeks ago I was approached by my life coach, who has become a dear friend, to write a story, my story, well at least part of it. It would be for a chapter in a book she is currently writing called planting new dreams. At the time I honestly just blew it off. I have been approached by many wonderful friends through the years about writing my story. It is nothing I have felt compelled to do. I know I have a story to tell. It is a story of a Love so amazing and wonderful that it touches the hearts of all those who hear it and has the ability to transform their lives.
Why then you ask, would I blow off the opportunity to share such a story? Well, for several reasons. The biggest, because the timing was just not right, until possibly now... Please allow me to explain...
I am in a place in my life right now where everything is in transition. Everything is not as it was... If you have been following this blog you know that. You have read about most of those changes and transitions. You have read how I have struggled though getting my certification as a life purpose coach, through my struggle to stop smoking, my emotional and mental struggle about becoming a missionary, my challenges with my children becoming adults and moving out of my home, through the beginning of my weight loss journey and the challenge God graciously allowed me to win. One of the biggest transitions God has me in though, is his direction to me about being transplanted. When God clearly told me it was time to leave my church home of 15 years i felt my heart break. The analogy was very clear It was about a plant having outgrown it's little pot and if it was not transplanted it would never become the large plant it was supposed to be. So, with tears in my eyes and with a huge hole in my heart I bid goodbye to my church family and began the search for a new church home. I visited several churches specifically searching out "larger" churches, as I felt that would be the "bigger pot" God spoke of in His analogy. well, all were bigger except for the first one I visited. the first one was a small start up church. They were meeting in a store front. very casual, very small, very different than the "churches" I had attended in the past and those I visited on this journey. yet something about this church had drawn me from the first time I seen a sign promoting it in my community.
A few weeks ago I felt compelled to return. Then again the following week. At the third visit I started questioning God if this was possibly where I might belong, even if for just a season. Today I returned for the 4th time. Halfway though what I thought was a pretty typical and honestly pretty tame message, based on I Corinthians 12: 12-28 about the body of Christ, something happened that rocked my world. The Pastor was preaching on how we are all part of the body and each has been given different gifts and how each is important none more than the other. Then the Pastor takes a wide turn to the right and asks us to go to a verse in Colossians Chapter 2 verse 7 where it says "rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with Thanksgiving." I was pretty confused what did that have to do with being part of the body. Huh? I sat up straight and tried to follow... He walked over to a table where on it rested two potted plants and he tells us that we need to be planted and not potted. He picks up this tall beautiful blooming plant in one of the pots and tells us that unfortunately although this plant looks healthy the truth is it is not planted it is potted. He pulls the plant out of the clay pot and proceeds to show us how root bound it is. We can see that the roots are all tangled and tightly wound up in itself. The Pastor used this as an analogy to share how some of us can come and sit in church each week and we have no idea how wound up in themselves they are. How they never reach out to others to be a part of all that is going on or to interact with the "body of believer they only appear to be a part of.
Then he walks over to the other plant and pulls it out of the pot it is in and shows us how the roots of this plant are not all wound up around themselves how they are actually growing out and down and how this plant although in a clay pot is actually planted and growing. He used this as an analogy of how we as Christians need to allow our roots to grow down into Gods word and His love and how they need to grow out to grab hold of others because it is when our roots grow out that we are able to touch others. How it is when we wrap ourselves around them that we gain and give strength and sustenance. God then reminded me of a place in my garden out back where there is a gardenia plant my children gave me many years ago. I planted it between two trees and how years later I realized that the root of the one tree had grown around this plant and completely encased the trunk of this gardenia bush within itself. Then the pastor picked up a hammer and smashed the pot the one plant was Potted in and told us it might be time to break out of the pots that were holding us back from being a part of the body. Allowing us to be planted into the fellowship, and love of the body where all strength comes from. He then took us to a favorite verse of mine in Jeremiah 17:8 where the word tells us we shall be like a tree planted by the waters where our roots will grow deep and spread out and we will yield much fruit.
As I looked at the dirt and broken pottery scattered on the table surrounding the plants I heard God whisper to my heart It is time again to be planted. How awesome that God continued to use the analogy of plants and being planted to clearly articulate to me His will for this next season of my life. It is time to once again allow the soil of my heart to be open to allowing God to plant a few new dreams in my life. I know this will not be easy, I can hear my mom telling me many years ago that a transplanted plant needs lots of food, water and sunshine to grow. She shared with me that it is hard work for a newly transplanted plant to grow deep roots and become a healthy part of the garden. I know that this next season of my life will require much hard and intentional work on my part. I will need the nutrition gained from the spiritual disciplins God has taught me in the past I will also need large quantities of God's word, the living water and Large amounts of time spent in the "Sonshine", to be spiritually healthy and grow strong deep roots. Roots that grow out to reach others. Honestly this scares me I feel tremors in my heart. I also am reminded of an answer provided to me by a wise man. He recently told me that the reason we feel scared and trembling in our soul when we know we are following Gods will for us is that all growth takes place outside of our comfort zone.
So I take a moment to follow the advice of another God placed in my life many years ago and I breath, just still my mind and heart and breath... I am reminded that I know that I know, that I know, that my God is Faithful to never leave me nor forsake me and that He has great plans for me! Plans to prosper me, to give me a future with hope. That He is with me, and takes great delight in me. He will quiet me with His love and He will rejoice over me with signing. I now find myself knowing I can do nothing but praise His name and rest in His love and righteousness as I allow the new dreams He is planting to take root and flourish in my life.
Blessing my friends,
Why then you ask, would I blow off the opportunity to share such a story? Well, for several reasons. The biggest, because the timing was just not right, until possibly now... Please allow me to explain...
I am in a place in my life right now where everything is in transition. Everything is not as it was... If you have been following this blog you know that. You have read about most of those changes and transitions. You have read how I have struggled though getting my certification as a life purpose coach, through my struggle to stop smoking, my emotional and mental struggle about becoming a missionary, my challenges with my children becoming adults and moving out of my home, through the beginning of my weight loss journey and the challenge God graciously allowed me to win. One of the biggest transitions God has me in though, is his direction to me about being transplanted. When God clearly told me it was time to leave my church home of 15 years i felt my heart break. The analogy was very clear It was about a plant having outgrown it's little pot and if it was not transplanted it would never become the large plant it was supposed to be. So, with tears in my eyes and with a huge hole in my heart I bid goodbye to my church family and began the search for a new church home. I visited several churches specifically searching out "larger" churches, as I felt that would be the "bigger pot" God spoke of in His analogy. well, all were bigger except for the first one I visited. the first one was a small start up church. They were meeting in a store front. very casual, very small, very different than the "churches" I had attended in the past and those I visited on this journey. yet something about this church had drawn me from the first time I seen a sign promoting it in my community.
A few weeks ago I felt compelled to return. Then again the following week. At the third visit I started questioning God if this was possibly where I might belong, even if for just a season. Today I returned for the 4th time. Halfway though what I thought was a pretty typical and honestly pretty tame message, based on I Corinthians 12: 12-28 about the body of Christ, something happened that rocked my world. The Pastor was preaching on how we are all part of the body and each has been given different gifts and how each is important none more than the other. Then the Pastor takes a wide turn to the right and asks us to go to a verse in Colossians Chapter 2 verse 7 where it says "rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with Thanksgiving." I was pretty confused what did that have to do with being part of the body. Huh? I sat up straight and tried to follow... He walked over to a table where on it rested two potted plants and he tells us that we need to be planted and not potted. He picks up this tall beautiful blooming plant in one of the pots and tells us that unfortunately although this plant looks healthy the truth is it is not planted it is potted. He pulls the plant out of the clay pot and proceeds to show us how root bound it is. We can see that the roots are all tangled and tightly wound up in itself. The Pastor used this as an analogy to share how some of us can come and sit in church each week and we have no idea how wound up in themselves they are. How they never reach out to others to be a part of all that is going on or to interact with the "body of believer they only appear to be a part of.
Then he walks over to the other plant and pulls it out of the pot it is in and shows us how the roots of this plant are not all wound up around themselves how they are actually growing out and down and how this plant although in a clay pot is actually planted and growing. He used this as an analogy of how we as Christians need to allow our roots to grow down into Gods word and His love and how they need to grow out to grab hold of others because it is when our roots grow out that we are able to touch others. How it is when we wrap ourselves around them that we gain and give strength and sustenance. God then reminded me of a place in my garden out back where there is a gardenia plant my children gave me many years ago. I planted it between two trees and how years later I realized that the root of the one tree had grown around this plant and completely encased the trunk of this gardenia bush within itself. Then the pastor picked up a hammer and smashed the pot the one plant was Potted in and told us it might be time to break out of the pots that were holding us back from being a part of the body. Allowing us to be planted into the fellowship, and love of the body where all strength comes from. He then took us to a favorite verse of mine in Jeremiah 17:8 where the word tells us we shall be like a tree planted by the waters where our roots will grow deep and spread out and we will yield much fruit.
As I looked at the dirt and broken pottery scattered on the table surrounding the plants I heard God whisper to my heart It is time again to be planted. How awesome that God continued to use the analogy of plants and being planted to clearly articulate to me His will for this next season of my life. It is time to once again allow the soil of my heart to be open to allowing God to plant a few new dreams in my life. I know this will not be easy, I can hear my mom telling me many years ago that a transplanted plant needs lots of food, water and sunshine to grow. She shared with me that it is hard work for a newly transplanted plant to grow deep roots and become a healthy part of the garden. I know that this next season of my life will require much hard and intentional work on my part. I will need the nutrition gained from the spiritual disciplins God has taught me in the past I will also need large quantities of God's word, the living water and Large amounts of time spent in the "Sonshine", to be spiritually healthy and grow strong deep roots. Roots that grow out to reach others. Honestly this scares me I feel tremors in my heart. I also am reminded of an answer provided to me by a wise man. He recently told me that the reason we feel scared and trembling in our soul when we know we are following Gods will for us is that all growth takes place outside of our comfort zone.
So I take a moment to follow the advice of another God placed in my life many years ago and I breath, just still my mind and heart and breath... I am reminded that I know that I know, that I know, that my God is Faithful to never leave me nor forsake me and that He has great plans for me! Plans to prosper me, to give me a future with hope. That He is with me, and takes great delight in me. He will quiet me with His love and He will rejoice over me with signing. I now find myself knowing I can do nothing but praise His name and rest in His love and righteousness as I allow the new dreams He is planting to take root and flourish in my life.
Blessing my friends,
Monday, August 17, 2009
Define Healthy living... for you!
I have been thinking quite a bit while away from home breathing the fresh mountain air in the TN and NC mountains about what healthy living is...
I have realized when talking to others that this can be very different for people. For some, healthy living may be an active lifestyle with lots of outdoor activities like hiking, biking, jogging, playing football or volleyball or other sport. For still others it may eating only organic foods, or being a vegetarian. Still others may say no it just means that I am not overeating and going for a walk every day. Others may tell you that they just want a good report for the Dr regarding their blood work.
I have been trying to evaluate what true health means to me. I will encourage you to do the same. If we do not take the time to evaluate this and know what it means for ourselves, how will we know when we have achieved the goal of healthy in our lives. This is my challenge to you. You are worth the time spent figuring this out. You are important and you need to be responsible to yourself in this area of your life!
For me I am currently redefining this in my life. when I embarked on this journey I defined health as not smoking, exercising and loosing weight, and getting off my meds. well then does that mean that I have achieved total health? I have done all of those things... Of course not. I still have a long way to go to be completely healthy! but I am making progress. so my redefined healthily goals are as follows....
Balanced healthy living for me now includes making daily decisions in each of the following categories... here are just a few examples...
PHYSICALLY - good food choices eating whole natural foods created by God and not re-manufactured by man. Exercise at least three times per week, preferably 5 days per week.
EMOTIONALLY - spend time each day to evaluate why I am making the choices I am making and recording my discoveries in a journal. Reading the list of "who I am in Christ" daily. start and end each day listing at least 10 things I am thankful for.
MENTALLY - Spending time each day learning something new about health.
Memorizing a new scripture each week. "Me Time"
SPIRITUALLY - Attending a worship service weekly with a body of believers. Daily time with God reading scripture, prayer, and just being still and listening. Daily times of worship. listening to Praise and Worship music whenever I can.
Make your list... and make sure the list is written down somewhere, not just in your head.
Blessings,
I have realized when talking to others that this can be very different for people. For some, healthy living may be an active lifestyle with lots of outdoor activities like hiking, biking, jogging, playing football or volleyball or other sport. For still others it may eating only organic foods, or being a vegetarian. Still others may say no it just means that I am not overeating and going for a walk every day. Others may tell you that they just want a good report for the Dr regarding their blood work.
I have been trying to evaluate what true health means to me. I will encourage you to do the same. If we do not take the time to evaluate this and know what it means for ourselves, how will we know when we have achieved the goal of healthy in our lives. This is my challenge to you. You are worth the time spent figuring this out. You are important and you need to be responsible to yourself in this area of your life!
For me I am currently redefining this in my life. when I embarked on this journey I defined health as not smoking, exercising and loosing weight, and getting off my meds. well then does that mean that I have achieved total health? I have done all of those things... Of course not. I still have a long way to go to be completely healthy! but I am making progress. so my redefined healthily goals are as follows....
Balanced healthy living for me now includes making daily decisions in each of the following categories... here are just a few examples...
PHYSICALLY - good food choices eating whole natural foods created by God and not re-manufactured by man. Exercise at least three times per week, preferably 5 days per week.
EMOTIONALLY - spend time each day to evaluate why I am making the choices I am making and recording my discoveries in a journal. Reading the list of "who I am in Christ" daily. start and end each day listing at least 10 things I am thankful for.
MENTALLY - Spending time each day learning something new about health.
Memorizing a new scripture each week. "Me Time"
SPIRITUALLY - Attending a worship service weekly with a body of believers. Daily time with God reading scripture, prayer, and just being still and listening. Daily times of worship. listening to Praise and Worship music whenever I can.
Make your list... and make sure the list is written down somewhere, not just in your head.
Blessings,
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Asking questions
I have been challenged today by something I read on a web site. I have also been challenged to think differently based on a conversation I had today with an individual I regularly interact with in business. I know that I am at a place in life that I have lots of new opportunities opening up to me. The reality is, my reality, is that I am at a place in my life where I can choose to change the course of my life. I can chose to completely transform every area of my life. For the first time in my adult life I can choose how I want to live the rest of my life. I have never had that opportunity before. at least I never felt like I did. Now I do...
So today I have been inspired to make a significant change in my life. No longer am I going to be afraid of what others think of me and wanting to appear that I have all the answers, when I don't. I do however want to learn. I hope I never loose my passion for learning. Now however I am going to do something I very seldom do and that is to start asking questions. I am asking questions of myself, and my God, but also my friends, and those who inspire me, those who I respect and choose to learn from.
Questioning is often associated with doubt and is thought to be rebellious or unfaithful. But, we only learn more about God and our lives as his children by asking questions. To ask questions is to desire to find out if there is more to reality or a part of reality than I sense or experience or understand in the present moment. It is a desire to have clarification or translation of concepts, impressions or ideas so that we might confront and evaluate them. It is to participate in reality and be enabled to participate in reality. It is to avoid prejudiced or automatic reactions. It is to confess our faith in God Who can and will sustain us in the struggle and process of asking, learning and growing. (Is there any kind of growth without pain?) Asking questions is skeptical because we don't know, yet. T.S. Eliot wrote: "Skepticism is not infidelity or destructiveness, or unbelief due to mental sloth, but the habit of examining evidence and the capacity for delayed decision". (Not avoided decision.)
Jesus told us we must become like little children in order to belong in the Kingdom of Heaven. Little children constantly ask questions because they have faith in mommy and daddy, the world and God to give good answers. As "adults" we cripple ourselves with sophistication and fear and live in the smallest possible world. I no longer want to live in a small world. I want to be able to experience all that God has for me and the only way I know of to do that is to start asking questions.
Blessings,
So today I have been inspired to make a significant change in my life. No longer am I going to be afraid of what others think of me and wanting to appear that I have all the answers, when I don't. I do however want to learn. I hope I never loose my passion for learning. Now however I am going to do something I very seldom do and that is to start asking questions. I am asking questions of myself, and my God, but also my friends, and those who inspire me, those who I respect and choose to learn from.
Questioning is often associated with doubt and is thought to be rebellious or unfaithful. But, we only learn more about God and our lives as his children by asking questions. To ask questions is to desire to find out if there is more to reality or a part of reality than I sense or experience or understand in the present moment. It is a desire to have clarification or translation of concepts, impressions or ideas so that we might confront and evaluate them. It is to participate in reality and be enabled to participate in reality. It is to avoid prejudiced or automatic reactions. It is to confess our faith in God Who can and will sustain us in the struggle and process of asking, learning and growing. (Is there any kind of growth without pain?) Asking questions is skeptical because we don't know, yet. T.S. Eliot wrote: "Skepticism is not infidelity or destructiveness, or unbelief due to mental sloth, but the habit of examining evidence and the capacity for delayed decision". (Not avoided decision.)
Jesus told us we must become like little children in order to belong in the Kingdom of Heaven. Little children constantly ask questions because they have faith in mommy and daddy, the world and God to give good answers. As "adults" we cripple ourselves with sophistication and fear and live in the smallest possible world. I no longer want to live in a small world. I want to be able to experience all that God has for me and the only way I know of to do that is to start asking questions.
Blessings,
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
A dream?
I have heard it said that dreams reveal things to us. In the bible God spoke to people in dreams (remember Joseph was instructed to take Mary as his wife and to not be ashamed of her for the child she carried was the child of God) and He even shared truths about the future in dreams. (remember another Joseph interpreted dreams about Egypt with 7 years of plenty and 7 years of famine)
I woke up this morning knowing the dream I had just had was revealing to me something about myself and this journey I am on. It was a snapshot so to speak of me doing an interview where I was sharing some of the things that helped me get to the place I was physically with my weight that had spiraled out of control, before embarking on this journey to health. I was quite surprised with what was revealed to me... there have been only a few people in my life who have had a significant impact on me. and two of them had health issues that have rocked my world. the first is my daughter. My daughter was born at a very low birth weight of just 4 pounds 8oz. She stayed very tiny for a very long time. Although she had a personality that was huge! she was very small. she wore preemie clothing and diapers until she was 6 months old! she was the size of a 4 month old when she was almost a year. one of the reasons was due to a heart condition. She was born with a congenital heart defect. Her Cardiologist shared with me that I just needed to make sure she had food available to her all the time. So for many years in an attempt to get her to eat enough I always had food out and around for "snacking" the second person was my mom. just over 4 years ago my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer. After an initial surgery where they were able to see evidence of how far it had spread and how advanced it was, she was given just 6 months to live. During the next 6 months one of my daily jobs was to get mom to eat. Not always an easy things to do. So we watched a lot of "cooking shows" the food network became a close friend of ours. One of her favorites was a certain Southern Lady who loved to cook with lots of butter and mayonnaise. Mom would say "oh that looks so good" or "that sounds delicious" and the next thing you knew I was in the kitchen trying to prepare it for her. she would eat a few bites and I would be left to finish it off. Then after Mom passed away those foods became a "comfort" to me. Just like people hang onto items that belonged to a loved on. I hung onto the cooking shows and trying all the wonderful recipes. an enjoyable activity we shared. At the time it was happening it did not register with me that was what was happening, however, it was during the next three and a half years that a lifelong weight problem spiraled out of control.
I find it amazing to me that I never seen this before. It should have been so evident... It however, was not until this morning. I knew I needed to get this down on paper. I will now spend some time praying about it and processing it, so I know better how to deal with it and allow it to change my life for the better. I think i may do that at the Gym while on the treadmill...
Isn't God amazing! He knows the areas of our lives that need to be looked at and allows us small glimpses into things sometimes to reveal great truths to us. Even in our dreams He is at work molding us and shaping us into His original masterpiece.
Blessings my friends,
I woke up this morning knowing the dream I had just had was revealing to me something about myself and this journey I am on. It was a snapshot so to speak of me doing an interview where I was sharing some of the things that helped me get to the place I was physically with my weight that had spiraled out of control, before embarking on this journey to health. I was quite surprised with what was revealed to me... there have been only a few people in my life who have had a significant impact on me. and two of them had health issues that have rocked my world. the first is my daughter. My daughter was born at a very low birth weight of just 4 pounds 8oz. She stayed very tiny for a very long time. Although she had a personality that was huge! she was very small. she wore preemie clothing and diapers until she was 6 months old! she was the size of a 4 month old when she was almost a year. one of the reasons was due to a heart condition. She was born with a congenital heart defect. Her Cardiologist shared with me that I just needed to make sure she had food available to her all the time. So for many years in an attempt to get her to eat enough I always had food out and around for "snacking" the second person was my mom. just over 4 years ago my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer. After an initial surgery where they were able to see evidence of how far it had spread and how advanced it was, she was given just 6 months to live. During the next 6 months one of my daily jobs was to get mom to eat. Not always an easy things to do. So we watched a lot of "cooking shows" the food network became a close friend of ours. One of her favorites was a certain Southern Lady who loved to cook with lots of butter and mayonnaise. Mom would say "oh that looks so good" or "that sounds delicious" and the next thing you knew I was in the kitchen trying to prepare it for her. she would eat a few bites and I would be left to finish it off. Then after Mom passed away those foods became a "comfort" to me. Just like people hang onto items that belonged to a loved on. I hung onto the cooking shows and trying all the wonderful recipes. an enjoyable activity we shared. At the time it was happening it did not register with me that was what was happening, however, it was during the next three and a half years that a lifelong weight problem spiraled out of control.
I find it amazing to me that I never seen this before. It should have been so evident... It however, was not until this morning. I knew I needed to get this down on paper. I will now spend some time praying about it and processing it, so I know better how to deal with it and allow it to change my life for the better. I think i may do that at the Gym while on the treadmill...
Isn't God amazing! He knows the areas of our lives that need to be looked at and allows us small glimpses into things sometimes to reveal great truths to us. Even in our dreams He is at work molding us and shaping us into His original masterpiece.
Blessings my friends,
Winning...
Just a quick update to share that the Tupperfit Club challenge is over, actually has been over for one week now. However, it has taken me a full week to be able to even write about this. first of all the facts... My team won! we took first place. I personally took first place in the overall competition, with the highest weight loss. During the 16 weeks I lost 42 pounds. Add to that the 5 pounds I lost when I first learned I had been selected to be in the club and on a team. This makes my overall weight loss 47 pounds. just 3 pounds away from that big huge number of 50! Next Tuesday there will be an all Associates meeting and HR has asked permission to share details of my loss and highlight me regarding the competition.
If you are not hearing a lot of excitement in this post regarding this you are correct. I find it more than a bit overwhelming.... I never in my mind would have believed this is where I would find myself. especially in something like this... a weight loss competition. The truth is I do not feel that I should be here. I honestly did not work out the hardest. or the longest. I did not follow a special diet... not really. However, I did have something that no one else did.... I had God on my side! LOL... the reality for me at least is that this was never about a number on the scale, it was never about depriving myself of the foods I love. It was never about being better than everyone else. It was about getting healthy. It was about seriously making changes in my life that will be a new part of my life for the rest of my life. I will blog more on the actual changes I did make in another entry to this blog. and you can be sure that there will be more than one. Also remember this journey is far from over for me. I am essentially at the half way point in my weight loss journey. But still a long way from the end of my "journey" to become the woman God wants me to be. With lots of lessons still to be learned and lots of me to still uncover.
Blessings,
Kathy
If you are not hearing a lot of excitement in this post regarding this you are correct. I find it more than a bit overwhelming.... I never in my mind would have believed this is where I would find myself. especially in something like this... a weight loss competition. The truth is I do not feel that I should be here. I honestly did not work out the hardest. or the longest. I did not follow a special diet... not really. However, I did have something that no one else did.... I had God on my side! LOL... the reality for me at least is that this was never about a number on the scale, it was never about depriving myself of the foods I love. It was never about being better than everyone else. It was about getting healthy. It was about seriously making changes in my life that will be a new part of my life for the rest of my life. I will blog more on the actual changes I did make in another entry to this blog. and you can be sure that there will be more than one. Also remember this journey is far from over for me. I am essentially at the half way point in my weight loss journey. But still a long way from the end of my "journey" to become the woman God wants me to be. With lots of lessons still to be learned and lots of me to still uncover.
Blessings,
Kathy
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Back on track!
I just wanted to post a quick update to let everyone know that all is well... Monday did find me in the Dr's office and She agreed no more BP meds!!!!! so a huge step forward on my journey to health! I have been very good with my nutritional plan... no more sliding down the slippery slope! God is good, so very good, especially to me! Tomorrow is the final weigh in for the Tupperfit Club Challenge! Here is hoping that all the mess this weekend and the effects of going off the meds does not mess up my results too badly. I will post again tomorrow to update everyone!
My beautiful daughter is now home... completely home... sleeping once again under my roof in the room next to where I currently sit typing! She was exhausted but full of stories of all her adventures in England, Scotland, Ireland, and Wales... over 650 photos to share! All is one again right in my world! She of course will jet out of here very early in the am to make it back to Tampa for classes at USF by 9am... LOL
Blessings everyone,
Kathy
My beautiful daughter is now home... completely home... sleeping once again under my roof in the room next to where I currently sit typing! She was exhausted but full of stories of all her adventures in England, Scotland, Ireland, and Wales... over 650 photos to share! All is one again right in my world! She of course will jet out of here very early in the am to make it back to Tampa for classes at USF by 9am... LOL
Blessings everyone,
Kathy
Sunday, July 12, 2009
rebellion of the body and mind...
Well this weekend... the best thing I can say, is it is over... This weekend has been a weekend of attacks. Mental, Physical and Emotional. The enemy has been trying to have a field day with me. Friday evening started with a huge attack from my past in a physical and mental way. My ex (of 16 yrs) arrived at my home earlier in the week asking me to sign legal papers. I had told him I would read over them and get back to him... He never was patient... he showed up at my door, uninvited, Friday evening. I explained to him that I would not sign them unless the wording was changed. I had no problem with what he was asking for, just the way it was stated, and how the words were untrue and reflected badly on our son. He reverted to behavior that was part of the catalyst of our divorce. The verbal, mental and emotional attack lasted for hours that evening. long after he stormed out of my home screaming, the phone calls continued and the enemy was enjoying himself as I emotionally crumbled in ways I have not in a very long time. leftovers from the celebration the week previous called my name from the freezer. I gladly made the trip many times into the moose tracks frozen yogurt until the container once almost full lay empty in the trash. Then the chips my next vice. granted not the greasy potato chips of my past, but brown rice crisps. Although a healthy alternative was never intended to be consumed in such quantity along with heaping servings of the roasted garlic hummus. It took two days, yet the completely consumed empty bag now lies next to the empty frozen yogurt container in the trash. Saturday brought another attack as I find myself light headed and unsteady on my feet. My blood pressure had fallen quite low. Even with the weight loss my Dr. has been hesitant in taking me off the meds I have been on for over 4 years to help control my blood pressure. Although running low for the past several weeks this weekend it catches up with me and I know I need to make the decision myself to not take meds that are now hurting me instead of helping me. My mind already a mess from the turmoil from the evening past, weakened into wrongful thinking, struggles with the effect of stopping some of the meds during my weight loss journey. How changing my body chemistry at this stage of the game will impact my weight in the short term and reflect badly on the final weigh in of the contest which ends in just a few days. I know I have few choices and resignation and depression become my companions for the next two days... No meds then on Saturday. Sunday a return to one out of three. The feeding frenzy continues... my only saving grace was I made a decision not to leave the house. To not allow myself to put dead food with no nutritional value into my mouth. Although the quantities were wrong and nothing of balance could be found in the choices I made, at least I console myself that my choices were healthy ones. fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains and lean protein. It makes no difference my minds screams at me, as the numbers on the scale move up instead of down... My body rebels as it tries to adjust to the chemical changes taking place within. I can feel the tightening of my clothes as bloating, a normal side effect of not taking the water pill each morning as I have for over four years. So begins the process of my body trying to acclimate and return to its normal healthy way of balancing my fluid intake and output. I have no idea of how long it will take my body to adjust and start to regulate itself naturally. I try to increase my fluid intake to help the process. my muscles and joints protest even the simplest of tasks. typing this message is painful as my fingers are swollen. My heart cries out as I know my spiritual and emotional journey has suffered as my physical and mental challenges mounted. I find myself numb and a prisioner of the self inflicted poor choices that create this cycle of sorrow. I reached out to my chlldren hoping to draw hope from their lives. My daughter over 3000 miles away also is struggling with her own emotional and physical challenges today. My son shares thoughts he has heard in his fathers home and unknowingly wounds me with words and thoughts not his own but his fathers shared in our struggle of the past few days... reaching out brings further sorrow rather than the hope I was seeking... inactivity now along with continuous grazing becomes Sundays enemy... my mind shuts down further to a numb yet quiet contemplation of Gods word... I seek comfort in the movie "One Night with the King." looking to the story of Queen Ester to remind me that God has a plan and a purpose for each of us. That if we allow Him to work through us even in our darkest hours He is with us. A reminder I am a child of The Most High God. My soul cries as the story unfolds and my eyes shed tears even at the triumph of my Lord and King... still I stumble... I turn to a teaching from Beth Moore my mind hears truth and recognizes it, yet my heart still lies heavy in my chest... I know this too shall pass. I know this weekend has been a battle fought, with loses and wins both. I know that I am weary from the battle... my mind, my emotions, my physical muscles and joints and body chemistry still is a mess, my spiritual life tattered and hurting. Yet still I know that I know that I know... My God Reigns! My God carries me through these times of discouragement. He will never leave me nor forsake me... tomorrow morning I will find a way to see my Dr. I will seek professional assistance in this battle to regain my health. No longer will I allow the enemy to let me think I will be overtaken by defeat and abandon the work of the Lord in my life! Although my body and my emotions have battled hard this weekend My God is still in the business of transforming lives. Mine is still one He is working on. I will not abandon the fight... even though tonight I seek rest I have a desire to rise another day and engage in the fight for my life... I will battle to lay claim to the Life more abundant my Savior gave His very life for!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Selah
This word Selah appears in scripture... do you know what it means? I learned several years ago that it means to stop and pause, Think about what you just read. I have to tell you I did not like this word very much. I, like many others, do not like to stop in the middle of something to spend time "thinking" when we are on a roll, well, we just need to keep rolling! LOL... seriously in our society and in our generation, stopping to think or meditate or smell the roses is just not what successful people do. we not only do not slow down we multi-task! I am a very good multi tasker! I have been known to be successful doing many things at the same time. So slowing down to just think about something for 5 minutes is painful sometimes... I tried timing myself this morning to spend 5 minutes thinking about one thing. needless to say my mind was all over the place! LOL.... it was quite a frustrating 5 minutes for me. yet, it reinforced my need to practice slowing down and thinking more often.
I am beginning to understand that it is necessary to slow down and not always be running at top speed. In fact I am starting to believe this is a huge weapon of the enemy, to keep us so busy, so wrapped up in multi tasking that we do not have the time or ability to focus on the things God would have us to focus on. We don't even want to try things that we have never done before for fear that we will not be able to do them perfectly so we don't try. Think of the old saying of practice makes perfect. well how many of us have time to practice? So if I have no time to practice I need to be able to do it right the first time so I do not have to redo it or practice before I can get it right. The reality is we need to slow down. We need to focus, we need to practice doing the things God would have us do. those things He prepared in advance for us to do. How sad if we get to the end of our life here on earth and we realized we did not do the things God wanted us to do because we were too busy doing other good things, or we were afraid to try for fear we would not be able to do it perfectly the first time.
So here is my prayer...
God forgive me for my arrogance of always thinking I need to do it perfectly the first time, forgive me for being so busy that I may be missing out of doing the things You Lord have prepared for me to do. Help me to slow down enough and for as long as necessary to understand what you have prepared for me to do in this season of my life. Help me to not get frustrated when I cannot accomplish things the way I think I should but allow me instead to seek your face and your way of accomplishing the things you would have me accomplish. help me to get up and try again when I fail. knowing that it is in my weakness your strength is made perfect. in the name of my precious Lord and Saviour Jesus, AMEN
I am beginning to understand that it is necessary to slow down and not always be running at top speed. In fact I am starting to believe this is a huge weapon of the enemy, to keep us so busy, so wrapped up in multi tasking that we do not have the time or ability to focus on the things God would have us to focus on. We don't even want to try things that we have never done before for fear that we will not be able to do them perfectly so we don't try. Think of the old saying of practice makes perfect. well how many of us have time to practice? So if I have no time to practice I need to be able to do it right the first time so I do not have to redo it or practice before I can get it right. The reality is we need to slow down. We need to focus, we need to practice doing the things God would have us do. those things He prepared in advance for us to do. How sad if we get to the end of our life here on earth and we realized we did not do the things God wanted us to do because we were too busy doing other good things, or we were afraid to try for fear we would not be able to do it perfectly the first time.
So here is my prayer...
God forgive me for my arrogance of always thinking I need to do it perfectly the first time, forgive me for being so busy that I may be missing out of doing the things You Lord have prepared for me to do. Help me to slow down enough and for as long as necessary to understand what you have prepared for me to do in this season of my life. Help me to not get frustrated when I cannot accomplish things the way I think I should but allow me instead to seek your face and your way of accomplishing the things you would have me accomplish. help me to get up and try again when I fail. knowing that it is in my weakness your strength is made perfect. in the name of my precious Lord and Saviour Jesus, AMEN
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Standing on the Edge?
Have you ever felt like you are standing on the edge of something and just can't quite figure out what it is? Like there is something right there but you just cannot grasp it? you can almost feel it and hear it but just can't see it? Well that is kind of where I find myself tonight. I know that doesn't describe how I am truly feeling, it sounds very confusing even to me when I read it yet I am not able to come up with the words even...
Let me try this... I feel like God has prepared something for me and wants me to be prepared for it... yet I do not know what it is or how to prepare. I feel very unsettled. not fear, or doom. Just unsure of what is around the next corner. I feel that I am in a time of preparation just not sure what I am preparing for. At the same time I feel like God is teaching me great things. I feel like a sponge right now just soaking things up... so much in fact I am pretty sure I am not even processing it all. thankfully some of it is in a format I can go back to and reread it or review it or take it in again.
Take today for example. not only am I in a place at work where I am working on projects are looking at completely new technologies and services that I have never looked at before. I also in my personal life, need to make some decisions that are things I have never considered before that will require lots of research and education so I can make informed decisions. Then add to that the search for a new Church home, my Journey for health where I am learning all kind of new things with regards to nutritional and exercise information. Add to that, in my spiritual life I feel like I am being overwhelmed with some major Spiritual truths. I feel like there have been huge gaps in my education in the area of Spiritual truths... and as a part of this preparation God is pouring out buckets full of new information and experiences into my life daily! It is all a bit overwhelming! I sometimes feel, like today, that I am a beginner in an advance class! Interestingly enough at the same time as I try to process the information that just today has just been poured out into my life, I struggle to even remember all the things I promised myself to meditate on and think about. the reality is I have probably forgotten more than half of the nuggets of truth God poured out on me today alone. I realize that there are things going on that just months ago would have had me totally flipped out. things that I would be working myself up into a frenzy over and yet, as I think about them I just have incredible peace KNOWING that God is in control! It is amazing...
So conclusion to my late night rambling here.... I am celebrating that God continues to transform my life! in the physical, the mental, the emotional and the spiritual!!! I just realized as I was typing that and looking at all I had written above that that is exactly what is happening!!! Praise God He is so AWESOME!!!
Blessings,
Let me try this... I feel like God has prepared something for me and wants me to be prepared for it... yet I do not know what it is or how to prepare. I feel very unsettled. not fear, or doom. Just unsure of what is around the next corner. I feel that I am in a time of preparation just not sure what I am preparing for. At the same time I feel like God is teaching me great things. I feel like a sponge right now just soaking things up... so much in fact I am pretty sure I am not even processing it all. thankfully some of it is in a format I can go back to and reread it or review it or take it in again.
Take today for example. not only am I in a place at work where I am working on projects are looking at completely new technologies and services that I have never looked at before. I also in my personal life, need to make some decisions that are things I have never considered before that will require lots of research and education so I can make informed decisions. Then add to that the search for a new Church home, my Journey for health where I am learning all kind of new things with regards to nutritional and exercise information. Add to that, in my spiritual life I feel like I am being overwhelmed with some major Spiritual truths. I feel like there have been huge gaps in my education in the area of Spiritual truths... and as a part of this preparation God is pouring out buckets full of new information and experiences into my life daily! It is all a bit overwhelming! I sometimes feel, like today, that I am a beginner in an advance class! Interestingly enough at the same time as I try to process the information that just today has just been poured out into my life, I struggle to even remember all the things I promised myself to meditate on and think about. the reality is I have probably forgotten more than half of the nuggets of truth God poured out on me today alone. I realize that there are things going on that just months ago would have had me totally flipped out. things that I would be working myself up into a frenzy over and yet, as I think about them I just have incredible peace KNOWING that God is in control! It is amazing...
So conclusion to my late night rambling here.... I am celebrating that God continues to transform my life! in the physical, the mental, the emotional and the spiritual!!! I just realized as I was typing that and looking at all I had written above that that is exactly what is happening!!! Praise God He is so AWESOME!!!
Blessings,
Monday, July 6, 2009
Sunday Visits
Well yesterday marked 5 weeks now that I have been visiting new churches. It is getting a little easier in some ways and harder in others. walking into a new church and saying hello is getting easier, more comfortable if you will. getting up and choosing a place to go and actually getting out the door is getting harder.
This week I visited a fairly large church here in my local hometown. Fairly traditional in reputation, and considered the "country club set" by many. I found it to be in someways exactly that and in others to be quite refreshing. the worship was enjoyable although a bit reserved. the message was presented with passion I think... Since I am unused to the pastor and his method of preaching I am not sure, however, I am hearing a bit of buzz among others that this was pretty unusual for this church and this Pastor. although it was the first of the month there was no communion service. There was a tribute to the Armed Forces and to our Country in honor of the 4th of July. What was so different was when the Pastor called for Prayer I watched him and his worship leader kneel on the platform in humbleness to pray. Then He called for a time of extended prayer for all of us. and I watched as he once again moved to the back of the stage and fell to his knees in prayer. I and many others joined him in spending time on our knees begging God for his mercy in our lives and in our country. This was part of a nationwide movement yesterday for "Call 2 Fall" asking all Christians to make a commitment to spend time on their knees in humbleness before God pleading for God to once again forgive us for the sins of our country and making a commitment to follow our founding Fathers in standing up for God. Uniting our voices against those who would have God removed from public life and as a result continue to see the destruction of the greatest nation in the world.
I enjoyed the service. However am pretty sure this is not where God is preparing a place for me... the search goes on...
Yesterday afternoon was wonderful, a house full of friends, laughter, tears, joy and frustration as the single women in my life joined me in an afternoon of good (Healthy) food and fun! It was wonderful to reconnect and to share once again our lives. the joys and the tears the laughter and loneliness of our lives. to encourage each other as only one who has walked the same path can. It was so neat to at the end of the evening reflect on where these women have been and where they are now. It is amazing to see the growth in them that only God could accomplish. It is humbling to me for them to open up and share as much of themselves as they do. the vulnerability in them to be transparent in the unguarded moments of whispered conversations. In the giggles of wonder when they realized all the ways God is loving on them. In the tears of not understanding why God is allowing things and the frustration at not "getting it". I realized at the end of it all the incredible overflowing blessing each of them bring to my life. This is the life more abundant that Christ spoke of in John 10:10. it is the victorious affirmation from my Lord that he has defeated the enemy who came to kill steal and destroy, yet He in all His Glory stands guard over His own and like the Good Shepherd He is keeps us safe and provided for in the shelter of His love.
Blessings my friends,
This week I visited a fairly large church here in my local hometown. Fairly traditional in reputation, and considered the "country club set" by many. I found it to be in someways exactly that and in others to be quite refreshing. the worship was enjoyable although a bit reserved. the message was presented with passion I think... Since I am unused to the pastor and his method of preaching I am not sure, however, I am hearing a bit of buzz among others that this was pretty unusual for this church and this Pastor. although it was the first of the month there was no communion service. There was a tribute to the Armed Forces and to our Country in honor of the 4th of July. What was so different was when the Pastor called for Prayer I watched him and his worship leader kneel on the platform in humbleness to pray. Then He called for a time of extended prayer for all of us. and I watched as he once again moved to the back of the stage and fell to his knees in prayer. I and many others joined him in spending time on our knees begging God for his mercy in our lives and in our country. This was part of a nationwide movement yesterday for "Call 2 Fall" asking all Christians to make a commitment to spend time on their knees in humbleness before God pleading for God to once again forgive us for the sins of our country and making a commitment to follow our founding Fathers in standing up for God. Uniting our voices against those who would have God removed from public life and as a result continue to see the destruction of the greatest nation in the world.
I enjoyed the service. However am pretty sure this is not where God is preparing a place for me... the search goes on...
Yesterday afternoon was wonderful, a house full of friends, laughter, tears, joy and frustration as the single women in my life joined me in an afternoon of good (Healthy) food and fun! It was wonderful to reconnect and to share once again our lives. the joys and the tears the laughter and loneliness of our lives. to encourage each other as only one who has walked the same path can. It was so neat to at the end of the evening reflect on where these women have been and where they are now. It is amazing to see the growth in them that only God could accomplish. It is humbling to me for them to open up and share as much of themselves as they do. the vulnerability in them to be transparent in the unguarded moments of whispered conversations. In the giggles of wonder when they realized all the ways God is loving on them. In the tears of not understanding why God is allowing things and the frustration at not "getting it". I realized at the end of it all the incredible overflowing blessing each of them bring to my life. This is the life more abundant that Christ spoke of in John 10:10. it is the victorious affirmation from my Lord that he has defeated the enemy who came to kill steal and destroy, yet He in all His Glory stands guard over His own and like the Good Shepherd He is keeps us safe and provided for in the shelter of His love.
Blessings my friends,
Friday, July 3, 2009
Letting go...
Why do we have such a hard time letting go? we struggle with letting go of anything! good or bad! you know it is true... somethings like letting go of our Children, or a friend who is moving away. Well those types of things are almost understandable. we are selfish people who want what we want right? but other things are almost incomprehensible, like our bad habits that are killing us. The things that are hurting us or hurting others who we say we love. so many examples of this but lets take food for example. Food is designed by God to nourish and make strong our bodies. To keep us healthy and able to accomplish the things God has designed us to do. We however want to hold onto things even when they are slowly killing us.
This morning for the first time in quite a while, I woke up knowing one of my children was sleeping in their bedroom under my roof. I chose to walk softly leaving the stereo off and being careful with my movements in the kitchen to not awaken her this morning. What I wanted to do was burst through her door and jump on her bed and ask her to share her thoughts and fears with me as we snuggled under the covers like we did when she was a small child. Instead I found myself in my home office quietly contemplating all the things she is about to discover about this world. Even now hours later as she is awake and in the room next to me getting ready for her big trip I sit here wondering how to let go. I grew up singing the song "it's a small world after all" well this morning as I prepare to take her to the airport for her flight to London where she will rent a car and drive to Cambridge to pick up two friends and then start their European adventure just three 23 yr old girls alone in Europe, I have to tell you it dos not seem like a small world. It seems very large indeed.
Letting go is not easy... but a necessary part of growing up and growing stonger. We need to learn to let go of things. Things that are killing us and sometimes even those that when we let go, feel like they are!
Blessings my friends,
This morning for the first time in quite a while, I woke up knowing one of my children was sleeping in their bedroom under my roof. I chose to walk softly leaving the stereo off and being careful with my movements in the kitchen to not awaken her this morning. What I wanted to do was burst through her door and jump on her bed and ask her to share her thoughts and fears with me as we snuggled under the covers like we did when she was a small child. Instead I found myself in my home office quietly contemplating all the things she is about to discover about this world. Even now hours later as she is awake and in the room next to me getting ready for her big trip I sit here wondering how to let go. I grew up singing the song "it's a small world after all" well this morning as I prepare to take her to the airport for her flight to London where she will rent a car and drive to Cambridge to pick up two friends and then start their European adventure just three 23 yr old girls alone in Europe, I have to tell you it dos not seem like a small world. It seems very large indeed.
Letting go is not easy... but a necessary part of growing up and growing stonger. We need to learn to let go of things. Things that are killing us and sometimes even those that when we let go, feel like they are!
Blessings my friends,
Monday, June 29, 2009
Fruit of the Spirit or Gift of the Spirit?
One thing among many I have always struggled with in my life as a Christian is I know the bible is true yet, I know that I have no Self Control. Now scripture tells me it is a fruit of the Spirit. I had been taught it is a gift given to me when the Spirit of God came to dwell inside of me. So then why do I not have any self control? I remember asking a Pastor about this many years ago and he told me "well of course you do just take it, accept the gift that has been given and use it." I never did get it... understand it or be able to use it... huh, how do you do that. his answer to me was "you just do" years later when I was teaching a ladies Bible study on the Fruit of the Spirit I resorted to humor and so teased and said "well I guess that is just one God forgot to give me, I must have been busy looking for the chocolate when He was passing out that particular Fruit of the Spirit"
Yesterday all that changed, I learned that Self Control is not something I can make myself have, it is a fruit of the HOLY SPIRIT! Not of Kathy. If I could make myself have Self Control then it would be a fruit of Kathy, It is not it is a fruit of the HOLY SPIRIT! It is not up to me to make myself Self Controlled. Self Control comes out of my communion and relationship with God, my fellowship with God. It is something He does in me. Wow what freedom i found in that! What a release of guilt, What an excitement is building inside as I seek His power to take over and produce in me Self Control.
God as the Holy Spirit is doing His work in me, this is not about me doing a work on myself it is the indwelling Holy Spirit working in me. This is what the New Covenant is all about. Under the old covenant God had established with Abraham there was something the people needed to do to get right with God they needed to make a sacrifice. They needed to do this. Today under the new Covenant As a child of God who has received salvation as a gift from the only one who can save me, Jesus Christ the only Son of God, I need not do anything. God is the one who will make the changes in me. Christ lives in me. His word is written in my heart not just on tablets of stone. I have all I need I have God to help me embrace it and to live it!
Yesterday all that changed, I learned that Self Control is not something I can make myself have, it is a fruit of the HOLY SPIRIT! Not of Kathy. If I could make myself have Self Control then it would be a fruit of Kathy, It is not it is a fruit of the HOLY SPIRIT! It is not up to me to make myself Self Controlled. Self Control comes out of my communion and relationship with God, my fellowship with God. It is something He does in me. Wow what freedom i found in that! What a release of guilt, What an excitement is building inside as I seek His power to take over and produce in me Self Control.
God as the Holy Spirit is doing His work in me, this is not about me doing a work on myself it is the indwelling Holy Spirit working in me. This is what the New Covenant is all about. Under the old covenant God had established with Abraham there was something the people needed to do to get right with God they needed to make a sacrifice. They needed to do this. Today under the new Covenant As a child of God who has received salvation as a gift from the only one who can save me, Jesus Christ the only Son of God, I need not do anything. God is the one who will make the changes in me. Christ lives in me. His word is written in my heart not just on tablets of stone. I have all I need I have God to help me embrace it and to live it!
Sunday, June 28, 2009
A Sunday Celebration
Today I visited a church that was very different and yet very comfortable. My spirit connected with the Spirit of God and sang a new song! The worship style was familiar yet at the same time totally different, deeper and more reverent, words I recognized, yet a new song I had yet to sing. I left knowing that I had been among a group of people who were truly worshiping God. Who had come expecting to be in His presence and in the presence of other believers who were earnestly seeking His face. I do not know if I have ever been in a place where so many were overwhelmed with their desire to worship God, and to soak in His word, to find answers on how to live this life in the light of His glory and grace.
The message was bathed in the blood of Christ. It gave a clear gospel presentation yet at the same time was not a seekers service it was not a new believers service, it was a hearty meal of meat and potatoes. it was one that challenged the mature believer to go deeper, and at the same time it called to those who are thirsty to come and drink deeply of His refreshing, thirst quenching, living water. They used a centuries old message and made it relevant to today without watering it down to make it palatable for this generation, while at the same not time taking away the relevance to the early church. There was a passion in the preaching that you could tell was real and being lived out in the every day of the one who spoke. There was sense of overwhelming desire on his part to impart his awe and wonder at the words of his Lord and Savior. To make us understand the depth of his understanding of what the Word meant to him and to us. How it could and would change our lives by understanding and apply it to our daily living.
I cannot begin to tell you how thrilled I was to come home and find messages online going back years from this group of pastors. I will have the opportunity to discover if what I heard today was consistent with their message. the information they provided me gives me much to take in and pray about.
Blessings my friends,
The message was bathed in the blood of Christ. It gave a clear gospel presentation yet at the same time was not a seekers service it was not a new believers service, it was a hearty meal of meat and potatoes. it was one that challenged the mature believer to go deeper, and at the same time it called to those who are thirsty to come and drink deeply of His refreshing, thirst quenching, living water. They used a centuries old message and made it relevant to today without watering it down to make it palatable for this generation, while at the same not time taking away the relevance to the early church. There was a passion in the preaching that you could tell was real and being lived out in the every day of the one who spoke. There was sense of overwhelming desire on his part to impart his awe and wonder at the words of his Lord and Savior. To make us understand the depth of his understanding of what the Word meant to him and to us. How it could and would change our lives by understanding and apply it to our daily living.
I cannot begin to tell you how thrilled I was to come home and find messages online going back years from this group of pastors. I will have the opportunity to discover if what I heard today was consistent with their message. the information they provided me gives me much to take in and pray about.
Blessings my friends,
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Virtues
So my memory verse for this week is Colossians 3:14 "and over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." so what virtues is this verse talking about? The two verses preceding this one tells us there are 7 virtues...
Compassion
Kindness
Humility
Gentleness
Patience
Forbearance
Forgiveness
Day one of my First Place 4 Health class talks about these virtues in the same way as clothing. Just as we know that to put together a "smart" outfit we should layer our clothing for a nice look as well as for practical reasons. we also should "wear" these virtues. Then it asks the question... what virtues are missing from your daily wardrobe? after mulling that over a bit I thought I was not really missing any so decided Humility must be the one missing! LOL... Then on day two they had us look at these virtues in a different way. Applying them to ourselves... It is easy for most of us to think of ways to use these virtues on behalf of others. However for some of us it is almost impossible to apply them to ourselves. So I am really struggling with this one... I know that I should love myself enough to find all kinds of ways to apply them to me. However all this exercise does is make me want to run for the chocolate! I have been thinking about this since last night... I have not gotten into the chocolate. I have determined that surely that would not be showing myself kindness. So at the very least I can maybe check that one off my list. I am determined to work though this. to finally find the answers to some deep questions. I have called upon my prayer warriors asking them to speak wisdom into my life to assist me in fighting whatever demons still haunt my mind that although I know how much God loves me I still find it almost impossible to even think about loving myself. I know that with Gods help I can move past this place in my life. I refuse to stuff it down inside of me like I have for so many years. I know this is all a part of becoming the woman God wants me to become. I am determined to do that. I have promised God that I was wiling to do whatever it takes to get there. So here goes....
Compassion
Kindness
Humility
Gentleness
Patience
Forbearance
Forgiveness
Day one of my First Place 4 Health class talks about these virtues in the same way as clothing. Just as we know that to put together a "smart" outfit we should layer our clothing for a nice look as well as for practical reasons. we also should "wear" these virtues. Then it asks the question... what virtues are missing from your daily wardrobe? after mulling that over a bit I thought I was not really missing any so decided Humility must be the one missing! LOL... Then on day two they had us look at these virtues in a different way. Applying them to ourselves... It is easy for most of us to think of ways to use these virtues on behalf of others. However for some of us it is almost impossible to apply them to ourselves. So I am really struggling with this one... I know that I should love myself enough to find all kinds of ways to apply them to me. However all this exercise does is make me want to run for the chocolate! I have been thinking about this since last night... I have not gotten into the chocolate. I have determined that surely that would not be showing myself kindness. So at the very least I can maybe check that one off my list. I am determined to work though this. to finally find the answers to some deep questions. I have called upon my prayer warriors asking them to speak wisdom into my life to assist me in fighting whatever demons still haunt my mind that although I know how much God loves me I still find it almost impossible to even think about loving myself. I know that with Gods help I can move past this place in my life. I refuse to stuff it down inside of me like I have for so many years. I know this is all a part of becoming the woman God wants me to become. I am determined to do that. I have promised God that I was wiling to do whatever it takes to get there. So here goes....
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Wisdom
Here is what I am allowing to soak into my heart and soul today…
Proverbs 2: 3-10
Yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you see it like silver and search for its as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God; for the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding; He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk in integrity guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of His saints. Then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity, every good path; for wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.
And
Proverbs 3: 1-8
My son, do not forget my teaching but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart so you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil it will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.
One of the things that jumped out to me was searching for wisdom like hidden treasure… It reminded me of the parable Jesus taught about the lost coin. (Luke15: 8-10) I had to stop and think about my life and do I sincerely seek Gods wisdom like a lost treasure? If I knew that there was a treasure of great value hidden in my home how would I react? Would I search for it like the women who lost her coin by sweeping the house and seeking diligently until I find it? I realize the truth is, I do not. I realize that although I live in a nation that allows me free access to the word of God and I have probably 10 or more bibles in my home I do not search the scriptures seeking wisdom. I read them like a story or a history lesson or a letter written to someone else. I do not always turn to God in prayer when I need to make decisions. I way too often lean on my own understanding… something Proverbs 3:5 tells me not to do!
Here is my prayer… Oh, Precious Lord, please forgive me for not seeking your wisdom like the precious treasure I know it is… it holds the key to my future, the cures for my ills, the directions for my journey and the life giving knowledge of how to draw from your unfailing well the living water that sustains me. It contains the words that lift my soul and reminds me of how you love me with a love that gave your all for me. It reminds me that you have special plans for me and that you have given me gifts I have yet to unwrap, enjoy and share with others. Help me Holy Spirit to not just read the words of wisdom you have recorded in the word, but instead to hide them in my heart and keep them in the upmost part of my mind that I might recall them with clarity, and apply them to my daily life. Amen…
Proverbs 2: 3-10
Yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you see it like silver and search for its as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God; for the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding; He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk in integrity guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of His saints. Then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity, every good path; for wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.
And
Proverbs 3: 1-8
My son, do not forget my teaching but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart so you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil it will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.
One of the things that jumped out to me was searching for wisdom like hidden treasure… It reminded me of the parable Jesus taught about the lost coin. (Luke15: 8-10) I had to stop and think about my life and do I sincerely seek Gods wisdom like a lost treasure? If I knew that there was a treasure of great value hidden in my home how would I react? Would I search for it like the women who lost her coin by sweeping the house and seeking diligently until I find it? I realize the truth is, I do not. I realize that although I live in a nation that allows me free access to the word of God and I have probably 10 or more bibles in my home I do not search the scriptures seeking wisdom. I read them like a story or a history lesson or a letter written to someone else. I do not always turn to God in prayer when I need to make decisions. I way too often lean on my own understanding… something Proverbs 3:5 tells me not to do!
Here is my prayer… Oh, Precious Lord, please forgive me for not seeking your wisdom like the precious treasure I know it is… it holds the key to my future, the cures for my ills, the directions for my journey and the life giving knowledge of how to draw from your unfailing well the living water that sustains me. It contains the words that lift my soul and reminds me of how you love me with a love that gave your all for me. It reminds me that you have special plans for me and that you have given me gifts I have yet to unwrap, enjoy and share with others. Help me Holy Spirit to not just read the words of wisdom you have recorded in the word, but instead to hide them in my heart and keep them in the upmost part of my mind that I might recall them with clarity, and apply them to my daily life. Amen…
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Father's Day
Father's day has been a very difficult day for me since my earthly father went home to be with my Heavenly Father 11 years ago. He was only 54 years old and I still feel that it was way to young. I did not have enough years with him. However, I also struggle with Father's day for other reasons. My daughter who is now 23 years old has never spent Fathers day with her father. She actually has only spent one week of her life with him, (When she was 13). He has never been a father to her. hasen't even spoken to her except during that week. My son has struggled with his relationship with his father all of his life. His father walke dout on us when he was 2 years old. Today he is with him, at least in the same home with him. I do not know what their relationship is like as at 17 he does not communicate his feelings to me well. (of course he never has...) I know so many who have not had good relationships with their fathers and so many who never knew of spent time with their fathers. I do not understand why that is. I do not get how a man can walk away from his children like they do not matter. I do not understand how they can even try to forget them. I know that there are plenty who probably regret their actions. Then they need to humble themselves and ask forgiveness and try to forge a relationship with their children. I do not know if they ever will. Others are with their children in the physical sense however never even talk to them They also need to stop and see what they are truly communicating to their children by their actions. What are they teaching their children by their absence?
Fathers of this world please wake up... see what you are doing...
My heavenly Father has been a faithful and ever present part of my life. To show me His faithfulness He has placed men in my life who I know to be good fathers. Men like my boss that always puts His children first. Goes to their games, plans parties and special events for them. Others whom I have watched cry for their daughters when they are hurt of hurting, and teach their sons to become men of honor. So I know that there are good fathers out there. I just pray that those of you who do have your father in your life that you made a special time to talk to and honor your father today. for those who do not Praise your heavenly father today for all the ways He has been faithful to you. and for all those who have been raised by a mom along join my daughter in honoring your mom who has been both mom and dad to you... What a wonderful gift that was to me today from my daughter to get a text message telling me Thanks!
For all you fathers out there who are trying your hardest to be the best dad you can. Thanks!!! and keep it up!!!
Blessing everyone,
Fathers of this world please wake up... see what you are doing...
My heavenly Father has been a faithful and ever present part of my life. To show me His faithfulness He has placed men in my life who I know to be good fathers. Men like my boss that always puts His children first. Goes to their games, plans parties and special events for them. Others whom I have watched cry for their daughters when they are hurt of hurting, and teach their sons to become men of honor. So I know that there are good fathers out there. I just pray that those of you who do have your father in your life that you made a special time to talk to and honor your father today. for those who do not Praise your heavenly father today for all the ways He has been faithful to you. and for all those who have been raised by a mom along join my daughter in honoring your mom who has been both mom and dad to you... What a wonderful gift that was to me today from my daughter to get a text message telling me Thanks!
For all you fathers out there who are trying your hardest to be the best dad you can. Thanks!!! and keep it up!!!
Blessing everyone,
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
One Year
What a difference one year makes... one year ago today I woke up in the morning and did not have any cigarettes in my purse or somewhere in my house. Today I woke up and remembered it has been one entire year since I have been a smoker! I was a smoker for 30+ years... now I can say I quit smoking over a year ago! Last night I called the healthcre provider who I have been paying for the past several years for oxygen. I no longer need to sleep well. with out smoking and now losing over 40 pounds and exercising like I should I fall asleep within minutes of going to bed and need an alarm to wake up. I feel rested and refreshed when I wake up and I do not hurt and ache when I try to get out of bed. What amazing differences in my life this past year! God has been so faithful and so awesome to me, the blessings continue to overflow in my life!
Several years ago God gave me the verse John 10:10 "the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy, however, I came to give life and life more abundant." I know for many years I lived a life where the enemy was stealing my joy, my health, my relationships, my confidence, and so much else. He had almost killed my dreams and my hope for the future. He was intent on destroying all that God wanted to build up in me. How Awesome that God fights for us and when we allow Him to be in charge of our lives He will reclaim all the enemy has attempted to destroy. He did for me and He will for you! Praise God with me today! He is alone worthy of our praise!!!
Blessings,
Kathy
Several years ago God gave me the verse John 10:10 "the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy, however, I came to give life and life more abundant." I know for many years I lived a life where the enemy was stealing my joy, my health, my relationships, my confidence, and so much else. He had almost killed my dreams and my hope for the future. He was intent on destroying all that God wanted to build up in me. How Awesome that God fights for us and when we allow Him to be in charge of our lives He will reclaim all the enemy has attempted to destroy. He did for me and He will for you! Praise God with me today! He is alone worthy of our praise!!!
Blessings,
Kathy
Sunday, June 14, 2009
More Traditional
This is the day that the Lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it!
What a beautiful day! this morning started off fairly cool out side for summer in Florida! I enjoyed walking in the garden this morning. giving life sustaining water to the flowers and plants. Spending time in the garden with my Lord. I often think of what it must have been like in the original garden. Oh to actually have walked in it with Him! After a few hours it did start to get very warm so I knew it must be time to return to the house, shower and get ready to join a body of believers in worship. Where??? I was not sure, no real clear idea of if I should return to the same place as last week or seek out somewhere else. getting ready I realized it was about 10 minutes too late to make the service at the place I worshiped last week. That took me to the computer and a google search for a local church that started at 10:30 or 11:00. after looking at a few I decided on a more traditional church just a bit farther from home than last week.
although this felt a bit more familiar, it also felt "old" not sure why... may have been the low pews, the 70's design of the building and decor, the Hymns listed in the bulletin... I was pleasantly surprised to see a mix of contemporary, a few praise songs mixed in with the Hymns and even a contemporary performance of the choir and worship leader. The pastor presented a great message, although a bit loud and "in your face" (kind of reminded me of the way an old "fire and brimstone" preacher would present) although the message was anything but fire and brimstone. the service ended with a very old familiar Hymn of invitation. More traditional than I think I need to openly worship the way I believe I need to... It was a nice cozy comfortable feeling... of course we know God is probably not going to call me to a church where I feel all comfortable, now is He? LOL
Enjoy your day, I know that as for me... I will be spending it with my Lord! No matter what the day brings it will be a day to rejoice at the presence of my King!
Blessings,
What a beautiful day! this morning started off fairly cool out side for summer in Florida! I enjoyed walking in the garden this morning. giving life sustaining water to the flowers and plants. Spending time in the garden with my Lord. I often think of what it must have been like in the original garden. Oh to actually have walked in it with Him! After a few hours it did start to get very warm so I knew it must be time to return to the house, shower and get ready to join a body of believers in worship. Where??? I was not sure, no real clear idea of if I should return to the same place as last week or seek out somewhere else. getting ready I realized it was about 10 minutes too late to make the service at the place I worshiped last week. That took me to the computer and a google search for a local church that started at 10:30 or 11:00. after looking at a few I decided on a more traditional church just a bit farther from home than last week.
although this felt a bit more familiar, it also felt "old" not sure why... may have been the low pews, the 70's design of the building and decor, the Hymns listed in the bulletin... I was pleasantly surprised to see a mix of contemporary, a few praise songs mixed in with the Hymns and even a contemporary performance of the choir and worship leader. The pastor presented a great message, although a bit loud and "in your face" (kind of reminded me of the way an old "fire and brimstone" preacher would present) although the message was anything but fire and brimstone. the service ended with a very old familiar Hymn of invitation. More traditional than I think I need to openly worship the way I believe I need to... It was a nice cozy comfortable feeling... of course we know God is probably not going to call me to a church where I feel all comfortable, now is He? LOL
Enjoy your day, I know that as for me... I will be spending it with my Lord! No matter what the day brings it will be a day to rejoice at the presence of my King!
Blessings,
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Late night thoughts - prayer request
Tonight as I was reflecting back on my week. and trying to figure out why this week has been so difficult on so many levels, I realized that it has been a week of emotional battles.
The First Place 4 Health program is a program based on balance in our lives. It deals with the Physical, Spiritual, Mental and Emotional. well... this week God decided it was time to start messing with the emotional stuff. Not fair is what my mind wants to scream... I want to keep working on the physical... And I thought that one was hard.... sheeze...
For those of you who have heard my testimony you know that about 3 & 1/2 years ago I had the most amazing encounter with Jesus. (outside of being saved of course!) For those of you who do not know my testimony please ask me, I would love to share how Jesus started the process to transform my life! One of the things that came from that time with Jesus was an understanding of the wounds in my past that I had allowed to imprison me in my present. I freely admit that my weight was a way for me to hide, to protect myself from myself and from others. The truth is that in this world most severely overweight people are invisible. I knew that and had unconsciously allowed my weight to spiral out of control effectively hiding me from even my friends and family. However, due to several different happenings in my life over the past three years, God has been working on me and in circumstances to bring me to tonight... To a realization that I harbor such fear of being seen and being heard that this week has sent me into a tailspin. You see I had reached the 40 pounds lost mark, I had to clean out my closet because none of my clothes fit. I had to go shopping for new clothes. people noticed, people made wonderful comments, all to encourage me in all that is happening. Instead they scared me to death. I wanted to go run and hide somewhere. I realize there are still many broken places inside of me. I spent about an hour tonight in tears asking God to start healing and mending the broken places. (well ok, He has already started but I needed to give Him permission to continue.) The truth is I no longer want to hide away in my brokenness. I need to be whole again. I need to connect with others in ways I have not in many many many years. I admit it is very scary. I know that when you open yourself up you run the risk of being hurt... oh yes, I know that very well. However, I need to do this to continue to become the women God wants me to be. I need to be willing to risk the hurt to have the opportunity to be whole.
So many changes so fast and furiously in my life... my head continues to spin. I really believe that God is afraid to allow me to slow down for fear I will catch my breath and run in the other direction... Lol... The truth is, most of the time I am beginning to enjoy very much the wonderful journey God has me on. this part however is very scary and I need your prayers probably more than I ever have before.
Just to share with you how AWESOME our God is though... when I came into my office to find a new box of tissues I found laying on my desk a small book called His Princess (love letters from your King) I picked it up and opened it randomly to a page and this is what I read...
Matthew 28:20 "and be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the End of the Age"
My Princess... You're never alone. You never need to hold on to anyone out of fear of being alone, My precious princess. I am with you wherever you are. I am the friend who walks in when the world walks out. I created you to have strong relationships, My love, and I see your desire to be close to someone. If you will seek Me first and come to Me with your wants and needs, I will choose your friends for you. I also will bless those friendships abundantly. Don't settle for less than My best just to fill your schedule with People to see and places to go. I want to reach you with the reality of My presence in you first., and then you will be ready for real relationships that are orchestrated by Me. Love your King and your Best Friend
How amazingly awesome is that... wow...
Blessings to you all,
Kathy
The First Place 4 Health program is a program based on balance in our lives. It deals with the Physical, Spiritual, Mental and Emotional. well... this week God decided it was time to start messing with the emotional stuff. Not fair is what my mind wants to scream... I want to keep working on the physical... And I thought that one was hard.... sheeze...
For those of you who have heard my testimony you know that about 3 & 1/2 years ago I had the most amazing encounter with Jesus. (outside of being saved of course!) For those of you who do not know my testimony please ask me, I would love to share how Jesus started the process to transform my life! One of the things that came from that time with Jesus was an understanding of the wounds in my past that I had allowed to imprison me in my present. I freely admit that my weight was a way for me to hide, to protect myself from myself and from others. The truth is that in this world most severely overweight people are invisible. I knew that and had unconsciously allowed my weight to spiral out of control effectively hiding me from even my friends and family. However, due to several different happenings in my life over the past three years, God has been working on me and in circumstances to bring me to tonight... To a realization that I harbor such fear of being seen and being heard that this week has sent me into a tailspin. You see I had reached the 40 pounds lost mark, I had to clean out my closet because none of my clothes fit. I had to go shopping for new clothes. people noticed, people made wonderful comments, all to encourage me in all that is happening. Instead they scared me to death. I wanted to go run and hide somewhere. I realize there are still many broken places inside of me. I spent about an hour tonight in tears asking God to start healing and mending the broken places. (well ok, He has already started but I needed to give Him permission to continue.) The truth is I no longer want to hide away in my brokenness. I need to be whole again. I need to connect with others in ways I have not in many many many years. I admit it is very scary. I know that when you open yourself up you run the risk of being hurt... oh yes, I know that very well. However, I need to do this to continue to become the women God wants me to be. I need to be willing to risk the hurt to have the opportunity to be whole.
So many changes so fast and furiously in my life... my head continues to spin. I really believe that God is afraid to allow me to slow down for fear I will catch my breath and run in the other direction... Lol... The truth is, most of the time I am beginning to enjoy very much the wonderful journey God has me on. this part however is very scary and I need your prayers probably more than I ever have before.
Just to share with you how AWESOME our God is though... when I came into my office to find a new box of tissues I found laying on my desk a small book called His Princess (love letters from your King) I picked it up and opened it randomly to a page and this is what I read...
Matthew 28:20 "and be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the End of the Age"
My Princess... You're never alone. You never need to hold on to anyone out of fear of being alone, My precious princess. I am with you wherever you are. I am the friend who walks in when the world walks out. I created you to have strong relationships, My love, and I see your desire to be close to someone. If you will seek Me first and come to Me with your wants and needs, I will choose your friends for you. I also will bless those friendships abundantly. Don't settle for less than My best just to fill your schedule with People to see and places to go. I want to reach you with the reality of My presence in you first., and then you will be ready for real relationships that are orchestrated by Me. Love your King and your Best Friend
How amazingly awesome is that... wow...
Blessings to you all,
Kathy
Friday, June 12, 2009
He chose us!
Ephesians 1 4-5 tells us "for He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will.
He chose us??? He chose me???? He chose you??? How amazing is that to you? to me it is unimaginable to think that the one who created the universe and all the people in it, who knew in advance who I would be, actually chose me? oh wait a min, that is not the end of the sentence is it... He chose us to be holy and blameless in his sight... well there goes that, right? No way can I be holy or blameless... sigh.... I knew it was too good to be true. So now what? How could God who knows everything choose me to be holy and blameless? it goes on to say he predestined us to be adopted as His sons through jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will. Did I mess that up too by not be holy and blameless? sure seems that way. Sure feels that way... huh?
This is what makes what Jesus did the most amazing thing! this is where we need to look at Jewish laws and customs... Scripture tells us that Jesus is our High Priest, what does that mean? and how does it relate to these verses? Well, in the Jewish temple prior to Jesus death and resurrection the High priest was the one who took the sacrifices into the holy of holies, which was into the presence of God himself. If God was satisfied with the sacrifice and he accepted it on behalf of the people the priest returned to bless the people. if God did not find the sacrifice (or the priest) acceptable God struck him down. Jesus being our High Priest was to say he was our sacrifice. God did find Him an acceptable sacrifice and High Priest, so when God looks at us (or as it says in verse 4 above) that we are holy and blameless in His sight. it is because He (God) is actually looking upon Jesus and not us. that means that I do not need to feel like I cannot live up to being holy and blameless, because I have accepted Jesus as my high priest, He goes before God on my behalf. AMAZING!!! That is the love it talks about in verse 5 when it says in love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ! it is through Jesus Christ that I become like Him, a child of God!!! So much more than I can comprehend... so much more than I could ever live up to... so much more!!!!! Love.... Imagine a love like that.... He chose me and knowing I could not be all I needed to be, to be His child, He provided a way though Jesus for me to become all that He wanted me to be! it is Him not me... this verse says it was in accordance to His pleasure and will... He did it for His pleasure and because He willed it. I will never understand why it was that He believed it would bring Him pleasure to have me for His child...
So let me ask you this... what are you going to do today to bring God pleasure? did you do something yesterday that you know brought pleasure to God? spend some time thinking about that. Join me in making a list of all the things you would like to do to bring God pleasure. then pull out your calendar and add one or two of them to your calendar. schedule time this week to do a couple of things that you know will bring Him pleasure. What a joy to do things for one we love that we know will make them smile. I love the idea of making God smile!!!
Blessings,
He chose us??? He chose me???? He chose you??? How amazing is that to you? to me it is unimaginable to think that the one who created the universe and all the people in it, who knew in advance who I would be, actually chose me? oh wait a min, that is not the end of the sentence is it... He chose us to be holy and blameless in his sight... well there goes that, right? No way can I be holy or blameless... sigh.... I knew it was too good to be true. So now what? How could God who knows everything choose me to be holy and blameless? it goes on to say he predestined us to be adopted as His sons through jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will. Did I mess that up too by not be holy and blameless? sure seems that way. Sure feels that way... huh?
This is what makes what Jesus did the most amazing thing! this is where we need to look at Jewish laws and customs... Scripture tells us that Jesus is our High Priest, what does that mean? and how does it relate to these verses? Well, in the Jewish temple prior to Jesus death and resurrection the High priest was the one who took the sacrifices into the holy of holies, which was into the presence of God himself. If God was satisfied with the sacrifice and he accepted it on behalf of the people the priest returned to bless the people. if God did not find the sacrifice (or the priest) acceptable God struck him down. Jesus being our High Priest was to say he was our sacrifice. God did find Him an acceptable sacrifice and High Priest, so when God looks at us (or as it says in verse 4 above) that we are holy and blameless in His sight. it is because He (God) is actually looking upon Jesus and not us. that means that I do not need to feel like I cannot live up to being holy and blameless, because I have accepted Jesus as my high priest, He goes before God on my behalf. AMAZING!!! That is the love it talks about in verse 5 when it says in love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ! it is through Jesus Christ that I become like Him, a child of God!!! So much more than I can comprehend... so much more than I could ever live up to... so much more!!!!! Love.... Imagine a love like that.... He chose me and knowing I could not be all I needed to be, to be His child, He provided a way though Jesus for me to become all that He wanted me to be! it is Him not me... this verse says it was in accordance to His pleasure and will... He did it for His pleasure and because He willed it. I will never understand why it was that He believed it would bring Him pleasure to have me for His child...
So let me ask you this... what are you going to do today to bring God pleasure? did you do something yesterday that you know brought pleasure to God? spend some time thinking about that. Join me in making a list of all the things you would like to do to bring God pleasure. then pull out your calendar and add one or two of them to your calendar. schedule time this week to do a couple of things that you know will bring Him pleasure. What a joy to do things for one we love that we know will make them smile. I love the idea of making God smile!!!
Blessings,
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
A Deeper Love
MAY YOU EXPERIENCE THE LOVE OF CHRIST, THOUGH IT IS SO GREAT YOU WILL NEVER FULLY UNDERSTAND IT. THEN YOU WILL BE FILLED WITH THE FULLNESS OF LIFE AND POWER THAT COMES FROM GOD. Ephesians 3:19
There are no words to describe how much God loves us. That is why He stretched out His arms of love and died for us. I know sometimes I don't feel lovable, but I know I do not need to earn His affection. Scripture tells us that he takes great delight in us. and that we need never doubt His commitment to us. He is the Lover of our soul. So I need to open up and let Him meet my needs, to allow Him to set me free from searching for false love in the wrong places. To let Him hold on to my heart and fill it up with eternal love. I know that when I do that I will feel His holy presence and will fall even deeper in love with Him.
There are no words to describe how much God loves us. That is why He stretched out His arms of love and died for us. I know sometimes I don't feel lovable, but I know I do not need to earn His affection. Scripture tells us that he takes great delight in us. and that we need never doubt His commitment to us. He is the Lover of our soul. So I need to open up and let Him meet my needs, to allow Him to set me free from searching for false love in the wrong places. To let Him hold on to my heart and fill it up with eternal love. I know that when I do that I will feel His holy presence and will fall even deeper in love with Him.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
New place to worship - New Attitude
OK, so today I ventured out by myself to a very different worship service. different in many ways. Familiar in all the ways that count.
I must admit that it was difficult to get up and get ready and head out by myself to someplace that I knew I would not know anyone. I had three churches in mind for the past two weeks that I have planned on visiting. That is until I realized that the reason I was considering those three was that I would know someone there. once again I was trying to find some measure of comfort in an experience I knew would put me way outside my comfort zone. So after spending sometime last night in prayer and reflecting on somethings a couple of wonderful mature Christians have shared with me when discussing this new path God is guiding me down, I started thinking about and looking on line for information on churches that were not your typical church. But ones that were refreshing, growing and touching the communities they are in. I chose one that is fairly close to my home. One that is touching my community. It was in every way different from the traditional Baptist church I have been attending for the past 15 years. I guess I needed that. My first impressions were mixed. A store front instead of a church building with a steeple a "coffee house" instead of a fellowship hall? chairs instead of pews... a woman leading worship? no choir or worship band? just three women on stage with mikes and a DVD playing on a projection screen? OK, Kathy close your eyes and worship... Worship the one you came to worship.... AHHHH there He is! Yes, My God and my King was by my side... wait... what is that? an alter call at the beginning of the service? that was interesting... that was amazing! To see and hear others get real with God to hear others get emotional and right with God. Isn't that what it is really all about? Hmmmm. The Message was delivered by the senior pastor, at the very beginning they passed out bibles to any who did not have one and they encouraged everyone to find the passages that were referenced (and there were many of them) to go to them and read them for themselves. The message was based on a significant principle taught by God in the very beginning and taught by Jesus himself here on earth. Praise God he is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow! He inhabits the praise of His people no matter where the gather. Communion... not sure since today is the first of the month if it is a monthly thing or a weekly thing... once again completely different. No little cups were passed around instead Elders actually broke a large loaf of bread and invited all believers who had prepared themselves according to scripture to come forward break a piece from the loaf and dip it into the new wine and partake as Christ commanded His disciples to do. To finish a comforting old hymn... sung in a new way.
Lots to ponder, lots to consider, lots to pray about... God is good and God is faithful... Only God alone knows where I will be next Sunday morning...
I must admit that it was difficult to get up and get ready and head out by myself to someplace that I knew I would not know anyone. I had three churches in mind for the past two weeks that I have planned on visiting. That is until I realized that the reason I was considering those three was that I would know someone there. once again I was trying to find some measure of comfort in an experience I knew would put me way outside my comfort zone. So after spending sometime last night in prayer and reflecting on somethings a couple of wonderful mature Christians have shared with me when discussing this new path God is guiding me down, I started thinking about and looking on line for information on churches that were not your typical church. But ones that were refreshing, growing and touching the communities they are in. I chose one that is fairly close to my home. One that is touching my community. It was in every way different from the traditional Baptist church I have been attending for the past 15 years. I guess I needed that. My first impressions were mixed. A store front instead of a church building with a steeple a "coffee house" instead of a fellowship hall? chairs instead of pews... a woman leading worship? no choir or worship band? just three women on stage with mikes and a DVD playing on a projection screen? OK, Kathy close your eyes and worship... Worship the one you came to worship.... AHHHH there He is! Yes, My God and my King was by my side... wait... what is that? an alter call at the beginning of the service? that was interesting... that was amazing! To see and hear others get real with God to hear others get emotional and right with God. Isn't that what it is really all about? Hmmmm. The Message was delivered by the senior pastor, at the very beginning they passed out bibles to any who did not have one and they encouraged everyone to find the passages that were referenced (and there were many of them) to go to them and read them for themselves. The message was based on a significant principle taught by God in the very beginning and taught by Jesus himself here on earth. Praise God he is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow! He inhabits the praise of His people no matter where the gather. Communion... not sure since today is the first of the month if it is a monthly thing or a weekly thing... once again completely different. No little cups were passed around instead Elders actually broke a large loaf of bread and invited all believers who had prepared themselves according to scripture to come forward break a piece from the loaf and dip it into the new wine and partake as Christ commanded His disciples to do. To finish a comforting old hymn... sung in a new way.
Lots to ponder, lots to consider, lots to pray about... God is good and God is faithful... Only God alone knows where I will be next Sunday morning...
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Long overdue update
I cannot believe that it is the end of May! I am so sorry it has been so long since I have given an update. The truth is that life has just been so crazy lately. so much going on and even more than that I am trying to process it all to make sense of what is going on!
lots of areas to update you on so we will start with the Tupperfit challenge... first of all they have extended it so instead of it being 12 weeks it is now 16 weeks. that means four more weeks with a personal trainer. We are at the middle of week 10. (our week starts and ends on Wednesday morning. the results for week 9 still had my team in 1st place. I am also the one on my team that has lost the most weight. 36 pounds to date... still a long way to go however, I am more than a third of the way to my goal! my goal is to loose 100 pounds! That will actually take me under my perfect weight. however, I figure that gives me a little wiggle room...
Two other big items in my life that are changing is Shawn has moved out. He is now living with his father in St. Cloud. He got a job out at that end of town and since he will be 18 in just a couple of months I decided to let him make this move. So once again an empty nest... wow... This time I am really enjoying it! The other big thing is that I attended my last Sunday worship service at Faith Baptist Church. This is huge. I have been a member of that church for 15 years! It is especially hard to leave now when things are good there... really good. I however, really believe that God was telling me it was time. and when I did not follow that right away I just felt awefull. I knew i was outside of the will of God for my life and really had no choice. I do not know where I will be attending. I do not feel that God has given me any direction yet. but like I mentioned to a friend the other day, "God has never handed me an itinerary yet so I guess this is not different, it just feels a lot more scary than other things since I had been there so long" I know that God has a purpose for this and a plan for my life and my ministry so I am excited about the next part of this amazing adventure He has me on! LIFE WITH GOD IS AMAZING!!!
lots of areas to update you on so we will start with the Tupperfit challenge... first of all they have extended it so instead of it being 12 weeks it is now 16 weeks. that means four more weeks with a personal trainer. We are at the middle of week 10. (our week starts and ends on Wednesday morning. the results for week 9 still had my team in 1st place. I am also the one on my team that has lost the most weight. 36 pounds to date... still a long way to go however, I am more than a third of the way to my goal! my goal is to loose 100 pounds! That will actually take me under my perfect weight. however, I figure that gives me a little wiggle room...
Two other big items in my life that are changing is Shawn has moved out. He is now living with his father in St. Cloud. He got a job out at that end of town and since he will be 18 in just a couple of months I decided to let him make this move. So once again an empty nest... wow... This time I am really enjoying it! The other big thing is that I attended my last Sunday worship service at Faith Baptist Church. This is huge. I have been a member of that church for 15 years! It is especially hard to leave now when things are good there... really good. I however, really believe that God was telling me it was time. and when I did not follow that right away I just felt awefull. I knew i was outside of the will of God for my life and really had no choice. I do not know where I will be attending. I do not feel that God has given me any direction yet. but like I mentioned to a friend the other day, "God has never handed me an itinerary yet so I guess this is not different, it just feels a lot more scary than other things since I had been there so long" I know that God has a purpose for this and a plan for my life and my ministry so I am excited about the next part of this amazing adventure He has me on! LIFE WITH GOD IS AMAZING!!!
Friday, April 24, 2009
The Biggest Loser?
As unbelievable as it is to me. as of our last weigh-in after a month... I am currently in 1st place as the biggest loser! currently I have lost 9% of my weight! or a total of 23 pounds. God is so awesome! The workouts have not gotten any easier as the trainer is continually changing things on us. however they are working and that is the important thing. i do need to get better with my diet. I am doing well but know i could be doing better. evenings are still a problem for me. I want to snack my way thought them. yes i am eating healthy stuff but still need to cut the snacking out all together. I know it would make an even bigger difference if I did. God is so amazing to have me in this program and all kinds of great things are happening to me right now. I am on vacation this next week and spending two days with my life coach putting together my life plan! I am excited yet at the same time a bit scared to see what God reveals through this process.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Survived the first week
First week of serious diet and exercise... Wednesday was the first session with a personal trainer... oh my! there are two major things I learned during this workout....
1. I am so much stronger than I ever would have imagined.
2. I can exercise and not hurt myself!
Don't get me wrong I hurt I have muscles screaming at me that I did not even know I had. and those I knew about are angry angry angry! however there is a very big difference between sore and hurt! or better way to say it is between hurt and Injured. I hurt but am not injured. I did not know if that was possible. What I learned is that lots more was possible then I ever would have believed possible. for example... I did 50 push ups! yes that is not a typo I did 50 (fifty) push ups! I did 60 crunches, 50 squats with while lifting a 10 pound weight over my head! and more! I was totally amazed! Then as we are finishing our first session she tells us that she wants us in the gym 3 times a week outside of our two sessions a week and when we are there she wants us to do interval training on the treadmill. 50 minutes worth of interval training. 2 minutes at 3 then 1 minute at 1 then 2 minutes at 3 and then 1 minute at 1 and so on until we have done that for 50 minutes! I thought Ya, right! four weeks ago I could barely make it around the block at a moderate pace! but guess what I did tonight!!!!! you got it 50 minutes on the treadmill doing interval training! Now don't get me wrong... I know I can do nothing but by the power of God. I know that It is in my weakness that His stregnth is made perfect! I get that I know it is Him... All Him! but man oh man how amazing is this! that He is using my body to do this. Me! that is so very very amazing!!! What an adventure this journey is!
Blessings everyone I am off to find the ibuprophen!
1. I am so much stronger than I ever would have imagined.
2. I can exercise and not hurt myself!
Don't get me wrong I hurt I have muscles screaming at me that I did not even know I had. and those I knew about are angry angry angry! however there is a very big difference between sore and hurt! or better way to say it is between hurt and Injured. I hurt but am not injured. I did not know if that was possible. What I learned is that lots more was possible then I ever would have believed possible. for example... I did 50 push ups! yes that is not a typo I did 50 (fifty) push ups! I did 60 crunches, 50 squats with while lifting a 10 pound weight over my head! and more! I was totally amazed! Then as we are finishing our first session she tells us that she wants us in the gym 3 times a week outside of our two sessions a week and when we are there she wants us to do interval training on the treadmill. 50 minutes worth of interval training. 2 minutes at 3 then 1 minute at 1 then 2 minutes at 3 and then 1 minute at 1 and so on until we have done that for 50 minutes! I thought Ya, right! four weeks ago I could barely make it around the block at a moderate pace! but guess what I did tonight!!!!! you got it 50 minutes on the treadmill doing interval training! Now don't get me wrong... I know I can do nothing but by the power of God. I know that It is in my weakness that His stregnth is made perfect! I get that I know it is Him... All Him! but man oh man how amazing is this! that He is using my body to do this. Me! that is so very very amazing!!! What an adventure this journey is!
Blessings everyone I am off to find the ibuprophen!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
March Update
Wow!!! what a month this has been... since my last post. the Extreme Makeover Conference took place in Redington Beach. It was a wonderful success. When we decided to do this conference we said that if only we came and we were able to just meet and practice and talk though things we would all be happy. Well then we decided that it would be wonderful if we had 10 people there. we would feel very blessed and have a wonderful time meeting each other and practicing our speaking and presentation skills. Well there were over 40 ladies in attendance and the evaluations that they filled out confirmed for all of us that this is something we need to pursue further. I do not know exactly where it will all lead to, however the journey is amazing! here are a few of the highlights.
The Tupperfit challange has begun and yes of course I made one of the teams. I don't even know why I thought there was a chance i would not. It is just amazing to me how God has me on this path. The really cool part about this is that i found out the night before the conference where i was giving my testimony about this extreme makeover God is doing in my life! Isn't God just amazing! So on Wednesday March 25th. I will start working out with a personal trainer and hopefully will find a new me hidden inside all of this extra weight i have been carrying around my entire life!
The Tupperfit challange has begun and yes of course I made one of the teams. I don't even know why I thought there was a chance i would not. It is just amazing to me how God has me on this path. The really cool part about this is that i found out the night before the conference where i was giving my testimony about this extreme makeover God is doing in my life! Isn't God just amazing! So on Wednesday March 25th. I will start working out with a personal trainer and hopefully will find a new me hidden inside all of this extra weight i have been carrying around my entire life!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
A Question
Today I made a decision to step out in faith and do something I believe that God has put in place to be a blessing to me. Although I know this would be a huge blessing of extreme proportions It was also something that had me scared for many reasons. The biggest because it will mean big big change in my life. Change for the better, but huge change anyway. the second is that it is something that I have struggled with for years. Most of my life in fact and if this worked like I am sure it would well... lets just say it also would bring me one step closer to total transformation...
In response to this fear I e-mailed someone whom I respect for his professional role in my life as a physician, as well as knowing he is an ordained minister I thought he might lead to some insight into this decision as well as my emotional and spiritual struggle here. my question to him was...
"How come stepping out in faith believing you are doing what God wants you to do strikes fear in our hearts? well at least for me it does... queasy tummy, shaky feeling all over, and almost finding it hard to breathe..." His reply rocked my world once I "got it" I will admit it took me some time to "get it" see if you do... His answer...
"BECAUSE ALL GROWTH TAKES PLACE OUTSIDE THE COMFORT ZONE!! We are never stretched inside our zone, that is why it is called faith... You're going somewhere or believing for something you don't have or have never been."
Ok, I get that. I even believe that and well to be honest I knew that. I think I was whining a bit... However he did not stop there... Oh No, of course he did not! He goes on to write...
"Let me say this, "you can not leave a place you have never been." this means until we each accept where we are right now, reality that is, (no illusions or misperceptions - just being honest with ourselves) we can't move forward because we can't leave a place we have never been (reality of our present place)!!! "
Now I read that and reread that and read it some more. Printed it out and read it, reread it, prayed about it, prayed over it, asked God to help me get it... took it with me at lunch time to read it some more... returned from lunch and read it again, reread it again... O MY... I think I get it... read it again... Oh No! I get it!!! I cry... My God continues to overwhelm me! talk about having problems with breathing... it took me some time to compose myself and reply back to him...
Do you get it? read it until you do... Pray about it until God reveals it to you! WOW our God is AWESOME!!! I have much to commit to prayer about tonight!
Blessings,
In response to this fear I e-mailed someone whom I respect for his professional role in my life as a physician, as well as knowing he is an ordained minister I thought he might lead to some insight into this decision as well as my emotional and spiritual struggle here. my question to him was...
"How come stepping out in faith believing you are doing what God wants you to do strikes fear in our hearts? well at least for me it does... queasy tummy, shaky feeling all over, and almost finding it hard to breathe..." His reply rocked my world once I "got it" I will admit it took me some time to "get it" see if you do... His answer...
"BECAUSE ALL GROWTH TAKES PLACE OUTSIDE THE COMFORT ZONE!! We are never stretched inside our zone, that is why it is called faith... You're going somewhere or believing for something you don't have or have never been."
Ok, I get that. I even believe that and well to be honest I knew that. I think I was whining a bit... However he did not stop there... Oh No, of course he did not! He goes on to write...
"Let me say this, "you can not leave a place you have never been." this means until we each accept where we are right now, reality that is, (no illusions or misperceptions - just being honest with ourselves) we can't move forward because we can't leave a place we have never been (reality of our present place)!!! "
Now I read that and reread that and read it some more. Printed it out and read it, reread it, prayed about it, prayed over it, asked God to help me get it... took it with me at lunch time to read it some more... returned from lunch and read it again, reread it again... O MY... I think I get it... read it again... Oh No! I get it!!! I cry... My God continues to overwhelm me! talk about having problems with breathing... it took me some time to compose myself and reply back to him...
Do you get it? read it until you do... Pray about it until God reveals it to you! WOW our God is AWESOME!!! I have much to commit to prayer about tonight!
Blessings,
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