January 2011... Already???
Amazing! I have had so much happen in the past few months that as you can see I have not been here to share my thoughts... Mostly because I have not had time to even consider my thoughts. Not to mention finding the time to actually type them out!
I will start of by saying God is AWESOME!!! And, since so many of you have followed my journey to health let me start of by saying God has allowed me and truly helped me achieved all the goals I set for my physical health! I have lived out Philippians 4:13 KJV "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" God has been so faithful to help me on this journey. My last and final visit to my Dr. all my blood work came back perfectly! All the indicators of early onset of diabetes gone! High Blood pressure gone! I am in a healthy weight range for my age and height for the first time since I was in middle school... and best of all I feel amazing! I have maintained that this journey is not just about physical health and I still tell you that today, it is NOT... God has been faithful to continue to heal me mentally of the stinking thinking (see my earlier blogs!) and to help me heal emotionally, to be open to new relationships and strengthening my interactions with others in new and exciting ways. and best of all... spiritually God has drawn me into a closer more intimate relationship with him. To a place where I am getting to know Him better and trust Him in ways I never would have ever been able to imagine!
For 2011 the key verse God has placed before me is Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. I truly desire to live out this verse this year... I know it is not going to be an easy path to walk. However as someone very dear to me has told me repeatedly lately... “that if it were easy, everybody would be doing it” and when I was on my face before God recently listening to His voice guiding me and directing me in the face of a very large decision, He took me to Isaiah 52:12 ...For the Lord will go before you and the God of Israel will be your rear guard." What an amazing promise! So even when I am fearful of what the future holds... I know who holds my future and I know He is preparing the way for me to walk in and He has my back!!!
Happy New Year my friends, I am praying that God be more real to you this year then ever before! I pray that He pour out blessing upon blessing in your life and that it will overflow into the lives of all those you touch!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Monday, August 23, 2010
letting go
Today is one of those days where my first instincts tell me that I want to stop time. or at least slow it down... to a super slow pace... tomorrow my son Shawn will be moving almost a thousand miles away to Washington DC. it is a wonderful move... it is a wonderful opportunity for him, and will be a good positive start to his life as an adult. However, my mommy heart is heavy and I am finding it hard to breath today. I did not expect this. I truly did not... I guess in some ways I do not feel like my job of mothering him is complete there seems to be so much I wanted to teach him and did not for a multitude of reasons have the opportunity or did not take the opportunity to teach him. Things I want to say and have not said...
I have shared this with a few close friends and they have all told me pretty much the same things... then today when doing my devotions I poured out my heart to God... then pulled off my desk a devotional that I had been follwoing each day this year, yet over the past several weeks had left it to collect dust... when I opened it up this morning the book mark was on July 17th... I turned to todays devotional of August 23rd and this is what I read...
ENTRUST YOUR LOVED ONES TO ME;
Release them into My protective care. They are much safer with Me than in your clinging hands. If you let a loved one become and idol in your heart, you endanger that one--as well s yourself. Remember the extreme measures I used with Abraham and Isaac. I took Isaac to the very point of death to free Abraham from son-worship Both Abraham and Isaac suffered terribly because of the father's undisciplined emotions. I detest idolatry, even in the form of parental love.
When you release loved ones to me, you are free to cling to My hand, as you entrust others into My care, I am free to shower blessings on them. My presence will go with them wherever they go , and i will give them rest. This same Presence stays with you, as you relax and place your trust in Me. Watch to see what I will do.
OUCH!! talk about hitting the mark and stepping on toes...
So my question to myself is this... had I placed him in a place of worship??? I don't think so, I think what I had placed there was my need to be the perfect parent... it was my skills that I am questioning... I had a very wise friend tell me that about a week or so ago... not in those exact words but to the tune of "anything left undone was not my responsibility to do... it may need to be others that teach those lessons... there are just some things a mother cannot teach. " So I am gonna spend some time on my knees releasing him into His Heavenly Fathers care one more time.... and I will ask Him to release me of this need to get it all right. perfectionism is a nasty jailer... Thankfully Jesus my Lord and Saviour came to set the captives free!!! Thank you!!!
well my friends, Thank you for holding me up in prayer as I walk through the next phase of my journey... it seems there is still some stinkin thinkin goin on that needs to be cleaned up!
Blessings to you all
I have shared this with a few close friends and they have all told me pretty much the same things... then today when doing my devotions I poured out my heart to God... then pulled off my desk a devotional that I had been follwoing each day this year, yet over the past several weeks had left it to collect dust... when I opened it up this morning the book mark was on July 17th... I turned to todays devotional of August 23rd and this is what I read...
ENTRUST YOUR LOVED ONES TO ME;
Release them into My protective care. They are much safer with Me than in your clinging hands. If you let a loved one become and idol in your heart, you endanger that one--as well s yourself. Remember the extreme measures I used with Abraham and Isaac. I took Isaac to the very point of death to free Abraham from son-worship Both Abraham and Isaac suffered terribly because of the father's undisciplined emotions. I detest idolatry, even in the form of parental love.
When you release loved ones to me, you are free to cling to My hand, as you entrust others into My care, I am free to shower blessings on them. My presence will go with them wherever they go , and i will give them rest. This same Presence stays with you, as you relax and place your trust in Me. Watch to see what I will do.
OUCH!! talk about hitting the mark and stepping on toes...
So my question to myself is this... had I placed him in a place of worship??? I don't think so, I think what I had placed there was my need to be the perfect parent... it was my skills that I am questioning... I had a very wise friend tell me that about a week or so ago... not in those exact words but to the tune of "anything left undone was not my responsibility to do... it may need to be others that teach those lessons... there are just some things a mother cannot teach. " So I am gonna spend some time on my knees releasing him into His Heavenly Fathers care one more time.... and I will ask Him to release me of this need to get it all right. perfectionism is a nasty jailer... Thankfully Jesus my Lord and Saviour came to set the captives free!!! Thank you!!!
well my friends, Thank you for holding me up in prayer as I walk through the next phase of my journey... it seems there is still some stinkin thinkin goin on that needs to be cleaned up!
Blessings to you all
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
checking our motives...
During my walk this morning I found I needed to spend some time checking my motives. Last night as I was spending time in the word after an emotional day and some even more heart touching conversation with a friend I found myself in the word of God at 1 Peter 1:14-16 "As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct. Since it is written, you shall be holy for I am holy."
I started my walk having a conversation in my head with this friend I was talking to last night. You know the kind of conversation I am talking about... the one you want to have but probably never will. The one where you share ALL your thoughts not just the ones you feel might be acceptable and not step over the line. The conversation you wish you could have but are afraid to... I thought about what might happen if I really was bold and courageous enough to have that conversation with this friend, Then I did what I should have done at the beginning of my walk... I prayed about it. I asked my Heavenly Father to show me if this conversation was appropriate and found myself thinking about my motives. What was I hoping to accomplish with the conversation? What was my hoped for outcome If I was to have the conversation? I realized in that moment something that King Solomon talked about in Ecclesiastes 3:7 "there is a time to keep silent and a time to speak". the one with wisdom knows the difference. and I believe there are some things better left unsaid for the duration. Especially when the motivation to speak the thoughts is not as it should be. Once again checking my motives I began to understand why I wanted to have the conversation that was rattling around in my head.
I was reminded of a devotional I was reading the night before from Frances J. Roberts "Come Away My Beloved" titled Conviction and Forgiveness. This devotional is written from the perspective of God speaking to us. The part of the devotional that convicted me was where he tells us "You are indulgent when I have called you to rigid discipline. You speak soft words when I would require you to speak the truth. You interfere with the convicting work of My Holy Spirit when you smooth over confession. I am not a severe God, unmindful of the frailties of human nature; but I am a God of divine love and holiness, and I desire your fellowship, and I long for you to know My joy" Man cannot forgive sin. Why do you then excuse either yourself or your brother? Before Me you stand or fall. Confess your faults one to another, and pray for one another that you may be perfected. Rebuke, warn, and exhort each other with all long-suffering and patience, Love and forgive each other, but do not lighten conviction. My love and holiness are beyond your comprehension, I do not love you because you are sinless (how then could I love any?), but I am able to receive you into My fellowship and bring you close to My heart on the merits of the shed blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. Here rests your hope of cleansing and acceptance."
In the remembering of this devotional, I was convicted that the thoughts and the "conversation" was in no way meant to edify or exhort the other. It was a deception of the enemy trying to destroy the work God is doing in our lives. My motives in wanting to have the conversation were not holy or pure, and would not serve any good purpose. although they are honest and sincere thoughts and feelings this is truly a time to be silent.
I also need to take a long hard look at my motivation for things I am doing. Why am I doing the things I am doing... that may be tomorrow mornings conversation and walk/talk with my God... stay tuned...
blessings everyone,
I started my walk having a conversation in my head with this friend I was talking to last night. You know the kind of conversation I am talking about... the one you want to have but probably never will. The one where you share ALL your thoughts not just the ones you feel might be acceptable and not step over the line. The conversation you wish you could have but are afraid to... I thought about what might happen if I really was bold and courageous enough to have that conversation with this friend, Then I did what I should have done at the beginning of my walk... I prayed about it. I asked my Heavenly Father to show me if this conversation was appropriate and found myself thinking about my motives. What was I hoping to accomplish with the conversation? What was my hoped for outcome If I was to have the conversation? I realized in that moment something that King Solomon talked about in Ecclesiastes 3:7 "there is a time to keep silent and a time to speak". the one with wisdom knows the difference. and I believe there are some things better left unsaid for the duration. Especially when the motivation to speak the thoughts is not as it should be. Once again checking my motives I began to understand why I wanted to have the conversation that was rattling around in my head.
I was reminded of a devotional I was reading the night before from Frances J. Roberts "Come Away My Beloved" titled Conviction and Forgiveness. This devotional is written from the perspective of God speaking to us. The part of the devotional that convicted me was where he tells us "You are indulgent when I have called you to rigid discipline. You speak soft words when I would require you to speak the truth. You interfere with the convicting work of My Holy Spirit when you smooth over confession. I am not a severe God, unmindful of the frailties of human nature; but I am a God of divine love and holiness, and I desire your fellowship, and I long for you to know My joy" Man cannot forgive sin. Why do you then excuse either yourself or your brother? Before Me you stand or fall. Confess your faults one to another, and pray for one another that you may be perfected. Rebuke, warn, and exhort each other with all long-suffering and patience, Love and forgive each other, but do not lighten conviction. My love and holiness are beyond your comprehension, I do not love you because you are sinless (how then could I love any?), but I am able to receive you into My fellowship and bring you close to My heart on the merits of the shed blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. Here rests your hope of cleansing and acceptance."
In the remembering of this devotional, I was convicted that the thoughts and the "conversation" was in no way meant to edify or exhort the other. It was a deception of the enemy trying to destroy the work God is doing in our lives. My motives in wanting to have the conversation were not holy or pure, and would not serve any good purpose. although they are honest and sincere thoughts and feelings this is truly a time to be silent.
I also need to take a long hard look at my motivation for things I am doing. Why am I doing the things I am doing... that may be tomorrow mornings conversation and walk/talk with my God... stay tuned...
blessings everyone,
Monday, August 2, 2010
An amazing thought!
Tonight, I have been re-looking at some of my old posts... I find it amazing how after almost two years from when I first posted this I am still amazed and impacted by the truth of this statement when reading it... Please take the time to read this and think about what it is saying...
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
~ Marianne Williamson
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
~ Marianne Williamson
Sunday, August 1, 2010
purification is a process... a not so pleasant one at that!
Since we have these promises let us purify ourselves from everything the contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God. 2 Corinthians 7:1NIV
I just finished a long walk in the hot and humid early morning hours. It is August in Central Florida and that means steamy hot and sticky conditions, all day and night long. There seems to be little break from the condition that is almost like a physical weight that makes us just drag. Some days it almost feels like you are drowning outside. today is one of those days. As the sweat pours off me during my walk I am reminded of high school health class where they talked about how the glands in our bodies are performing a purification process when we sweat like that. It is flushing out the toxins from our cells through the skin. This is a healthy function of a well hydrated body doing exactly what God designed it to do. (even if I do not find it overly enjoyable or pleasurable) However when it comes to purification of the spirit it can also sometimes be an unpleasant experience. One where the Holy Spirit pushes out some of the things in our hearts and mind that are contaminating our souls.
Just as our physical bodies instinctively knows the things it is pushing out through the skin is unhealthy for our bodies and thus must rid us of those things, so also does the spirit know the things in our hearts and minds that are unhealthy for our souls and pushes them out. If we stay well watered in the word of God we desire to show reverence to Him. We allow our Spirit to release the things in our hearts and minds that contaminate the spirit just as the well watered body is willing to release the things that contaminate our physical selves.
For me my walks, no matter what the time of year or conditions, serve both purposes. I find that walking not only allows my body to flush out some of the toxins it also allows my soul the right conditions to do the same as I pour out my heart to my God. It allow the Spirit the ability to let go of some of the junk that is contaminating it. Some of the "junk" is not all bad... or at least it does not appear to be. Just like the food that taste so good, The things in my heart and mind that need to be purified are sometimes seemingly good things.
I was reminded this morning that the enemy is very very deceptive. I forget that sometimes. I forget that although something looks good and smells good and even taste good it is not necessarily good for me. My journey to health has taught me that about food... why am I surprised that it is the same in other areas of my life? I am also discovering that taking a break from some of the truly good things in life can lead to unhealthy desires as well as a desire for the good stuff. stay with me now... what I am trying to point out is the incredible connection between the physical and spiritual. for example any semi-mature Christian knows that restricting the daily disciplines of prayer, quiet time with God and time in His word can be necessary if we have allowed that to become all consuming... we are called to be salt and light in our world and if we never go out in the world we are so far off balance we need to stop and pull back some portion of our time from these things to regain the balance necessary in our spiritual life. However, this can lead to a very slippery slope if taken too far or for too long. Once away from the Christian walk. You start not spending as much time with other believers and become so busy with things and activities outside of the Christian life that you pretty soon you find yourself entertaining thoughts and ideas you never would have if you were staying faithful to the things you have let slide out of your life. In the same way when I have for a season allowed myself to restrict from my life carbs, including good foods like fruit and whole grains so that I could bring my body back into balance, (Something, I desperately needed to do) It was a necessary part of getting healthy. However, I am now finding after almost 6 months of time away I am begin to crave the good things... as well as the bad. yesterday I found myself in the frozen food section with tubs of ice cream in my hands. I was wise enough to read the labels and I did leave each one there. However, I struggled with it. I then found myself back in the fresh produce isles of the store and holding cherries and plums and nectarines in my hands... all good things yet still restricted items on my program. I left them there as well... sigh...
I am now in a place mentally where I am re-evaluating.... I honestly have met my initial goals. If we go back to the early post in this blog my one true goal was to be healthy. I am!!! Praise God, I truly am healthier than I have ever been as an adult, possibly ever in my life. Then when I set a weight goal, I set it at 175. I have met that goal as well... Although in my mind I have reset the goal to 150. I have to evaluate. Have I walked away from what is truly healthy for so long that I now am in a difficult place which has the potential to derail me? is this now a slippery slope that has the ability to quickly find me at the bottom of the pit? I am not sure... I honestly do not know. I do know that the connection between the physical and spiritual is very much connected to the mental and emotional as well. So today, will be a day of examining all those things. Looking for the weak link in the chain that connects me and keep me whole. It will also be a day of examining my spiritual armor that keeps me safe to make sure there is no chinks in it that could be allowing the enemy to penetrate my defenses and if so I will spend time repairing any damage I may find. I know that I know that I know My God is Omnipotent He has promised to supply wisdom to those who diligently seek it. Today I seek His wisdom... not that of men or of books or of life... but His wisdom that knows me better than I know myself... His wisdom that sees the ending before the beginning. His wisdom that truly nourishes me body, mind, heart and spirit.
Blessings to all of you! Thanks for reading and thanks for your prayers and encouragement! I know I would never have made it this far on my journey without you!
I just finished a long walk in the hot and humid early morning hours. It is August in Central Florida and that means steamy hot and sticky conditions, all day and night long. There seems to be little break from the condition that is almost like a physical weight that makes us just drag. Some days it almost feels like you are drowning outside. today is one of those days. As the sweat pours off me during my walk I am reminded of high school health class where they talked about how the glands in our bodies are performing a purification process when we sweat like that. It is flushing out the toxins from our cells through the skin. This is a healthy function of a well hydrated body doing exactly what God designed it to do. (even if I do not find it overly enjoyable or pleasurable) However when it comes to purification of the spirit it can also sometimes be an unpleasant experience. One where the Holy Spirit pushes out some of the things in our hearts and mind that are contaminating our souls.
Just as our physical bodies instinctively knows the things it is pushing out through the skin is unhealthy for our bodies and thus must rid us of those things, so also does the spirit know the things in our hearts and minds that are unhealthy for our souls and pushes them out. If we stay well watered in the word of God we desire to show reverence to Him. We allow our Spirit to release the things in our hearts and minds that contaminate the spirit just as the well watered body is willing to release the things that contaminate our physical selves.
For me my walks, no matter what the time of year or conditions, serve both purposes. I find that walking not only allows my body to flush out some of the toxins it also allows my soul the right conditions to do the same as I pour out my heart to my God. It allow the Spirit the ability to let go of some of the junk that is contaminating it. Some of the "junk" is not all bad... or at least it does not appear to be. Just like the food that taste so good, The things in my heart and mind that need to be purified are sometimes seemingly good things.
I was reminded this morning that the enemy is very very deceptive. I forget that sometimes. I forget that although something looks good and smells good and even taste good it is not necessarily good for me. My journey to health has taught me that about food... why am I surprised that it is the same in other areas of my life? I am also discovering that taking a break from some of the truly good things in life can lead to unhealthy desires as well as a desire for the good stuff. stay with me now... what I am trying to point out is the incredible connection between the physical and spiritual. for example any semi-mature Christian knows that restricting the daily disciplines of prayer, quiet time with God and time in His word can be necessary if we have allowed that to become all consuming... we are called to be salt and light in our world and if we never go out in the world we are so far off balance we need to stop and pull back some portion of our time from these things to regain the balance necessary in our spiritual life. However, this can lead to a very slippery slope if taken too far or for too long. Once away from the Christian walk. You start not spending as much time with other believers and become so busy with things and activities outside of the Christian life that you pretty soon you find yourself entertaining thoughts and ideas you never would have if you were staying faithful to the things you have let slide out of your life. In the same way when I have for a season allowed myself to restrict from my life carbs, including good foods like fruit and whole grains so that I could bring my body back into balance, (Something, I desperately needed to do) It was a necessary part of getting healthy. However, I am now finding after almost 6 months of time away I am begin to crave the good things... as well as the bad. yesterday I found myself in the frozen food section with tubs of ice cream in my hands. I was wise enough to read the labels and I did leave each one there. However, I struggled with it. I then found myself back in the fresh produce isles of the store and holding cherries and plums and nectarines in my hands... all good things yet still restricted items on my program. I left them there as well... sigh...
I am now in a place mentally where I am re-evaluating.... I honestly have met my initial goals. If we go back to the early post in this blog my one true goal was to be healthy. I am!!! Praise God, I truly am healthier than I have ever been as an adult, possibly ever in my life. Then when I set a weight goal, I set it at 175. I have met that goal as well... Although in my mind I have reset the goal to 150. I have to evaluate. Have I walked away from what is truly healthy for so long that I now am in a difficult place which has the potential to derail me? is this now a slippery slope that has the ability to quickly find me at the bottom of the pit? I am not sure... I honestly do not know. I do know that the connection between the physical and spiritual is very much connected to the mental and emotional as well. So today, will be a day of examining all those things. Looking for the weak link in the chain that connects me and keep me whole. It will also be a day of examining my spiritual armor that keeps me safe to make sure there is no chinks in it that could be allowing the enemy to penetrate my defenses and if so I will spend time repairing any damage I may find. I know that I know that I know My God is Omnipotent He has promised to supply wisdom to those who diligently seek it. Today I seek His wisdom... not that of men or of books or of life... but His wisdom that knows me better than I know myself... His wisdom that sees the ending before the beginning. His wisdom that truly nourishes me body, mind, heart and spirit.
Blessings to all of you! Thanks for reading and thanks for your prayers and encouragement! I know I would never have made it this far on my journey without you!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Hearing His call
I find it amazing that God would find anything redeemable in my life, and then take those things and ask me to represent Him to others.
No, I am not suffering from low self esteem, no I did not have a bad day... Stay with me here... The God who created the Universe and all that is in it by just speaking it into being... God who alone is holy and pure, God who holds the only right to honor and praise, looks at me in all my imperfection and indecision, and shortcomings and procrastination, and He looks past even the major screw-ups.... and He sees something worthwhile. He is willing to pull me out of the pit I had dug for myself and makes something out of the mess I created in my life. He is willing to bring value to all I was willing to throw away, or at the very least trade in for a short time of pleasure. Anyone relate?
Even more amazing is that He would not just be wiling to redeem me but also to love me. To be wiling to walk alongside me and transform me into the one He created me to be. The fact that He is mindful of me, He has set His love on me! He calls me His beloved! He desires to spend time with me! Anyone else feel this amazing sense of disbelief that the one Who created us wants to be not just our King but also our friend?
Then, to hear Him calling my name... To call me to serve others in His name... to show me a path He has prepared especially for me to be His hands and feet and voice in another's life.. It honestly takes my breath away.
This week I have felt a new call, a new assignment, and new opportunity to share in a new way with others, who He is and how much He loves them... I am in awe of Him and how He works...
I pray I can in some small way honor His choice... That I can be faithful to the calling He has on my life. I pray I do not, drag my feet nor lag behind. I pray I can and will walk alongside Him and move when He says move, stand still when He asks me to be still and to honor Him with every word.
No, I am not suffering from low self esteem, no I did not have a bad day... Stay with me here... The God who created the Universe and all that is in it by just speaking it into being... God who alone is holy and pure, God who holds the only right to honor and praise, looks at me in all my imperfection and indecision, and shortcomings and procrastination, and He looks past even the major screw-ups.... and He sees something worthwhile. He is willing to pull me out of the pit I had dug for myself and makes something out of the mess I created in my life. He is willing to bring value to all I was willing to throw away, or at the very least trade in for a short time of pleasure. Anyone relate?
Even more amazing is that He would not just be wiling to redeem me but also to love me. To be wiling to walk alongside me and transform me into the one He created me to be. The fact that He is mindful of me, He has set His love on me! He calls me His beloved! He desires to spend time with me! Anyone else feel this amazing sense of disbelief that the one Who created us wants to be not just our King but also our friend?
Then, to hear Him calling my name... To call me to serve others in His name... to show me a path He has prepared especially for me to be His hands and feet and voice in another's life.. It honestly takes my breath away.
This week I have felt a new call, a new assignment, and new opportunity to share in a new way with others, who He is and how much He loves them... I am in awe of Him and how He works...
I pray I can in some small way honor His choice... That I can be faithful to the calling He has on my life. I pray I do not, drag my feet nor lag behind. I pray I can and will walk alongside Him and move when He says move, stand still when He asks me to be still and to honor Him with every word.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
milestones
True milestones in life are typically few and far between. yet there are some that most everyone experiences. Such a time is getting ready to occur in my life... and in the life of my youngest child. Who by the way is not much of a child anymore... Shawn will finish his last day of High School this week on Thursday. Friday will start a new phase in his life and consequently in mine.
I remember my mom telling the story of my Grandmother who had 11 children... my mom being the youngest... that the most difficult day of her life was the morning school started the year after my mom graduated from High School. as a huge part of her life was not over. no longer did she have children to get up and get off to school. Now in all fairness, I have not had to get Shawn up and out the door for school much in the past few years. He was a home school student for several years and the past year he has been living with his father... and only stayed at my house a few times on school days. However, it is still a change of thinking about him and myself.
I find myself having mixed emotions. I am very proud of him and his accomplishments. I am also a bit sad that I no longer have "children to mother" and I am excited about the choices he now has and that I now have. life will be changing in some major ways for both of us... I remember when each of my children had a birthday, they received new privileges as well as new responsibilities. so also with this milestone will he find he has more privileges as well as more responsibilities. not because I grant them, however, still there they are.
I however really like the change in my life... because for me there are now more opportunities yet less responsibilities.... kind of a mind altering thought. I have not yet processed all that means, in fact am waiting to try to process it... instead I am going to just sit and savor that thought. in fact I may need to pray about a way to celebrate that.... pretty cool milestone!
I remember my mom telling the story of my Grandmother who had 11 children... my mom being the youngest... that the most difficult day of her life was the morning school started the year after my mom graduated from High School. as a huge part of her life was not over. no longer did she have children to get up and get off to school. Now in all fairness, I have not had to get Shawn up and out the door for school much in the past few years. He was a home school student for several years and the past year he has been living with his father... and only stayed at my house a few times on school days. However, it is still a change of thinking about him and myself.
I find myself having mixed emotions. I am very proud of him and his accomplishments. I am also a bit sad that I no longer have "children to mother" and I am excited about the choices he now has and that I now have. life will be changing in some major ways for both of us... I remember when each of my children had a birthday, they received new privileges as well as new responsibilities. so also with this milestone will he find he has more privileges as well as more responsibilities. not because I grant them, however, still there they are.
I however really like the change in my life... because for me there are now more opportunities yet less responsibilities.... kind of a mind altering thought. I have not yet processed all that means, in fact am waiting to try to process it... instead I am going to just sit and savor that thought. in fact I may need to pray about a way to celebrate that.... pretty cool milestone!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
long overdue update
I cannot believe that it has been five months since I have done any blogging... I have so much to share and the only excuse I can give you is that God has kicked my life into overdrive and transformation is happing at the speed of light these days!
so lets start at the beginning of the year since the last posting was my 2009 year in review...
January was a full month... with the wind down from the holidays I hit the ground running with preparations for Bonnie's wedding. I was her maid of honor so dress fittings, decorations etc... I also was working with my new Church Heart Cry in preparations for a Ladies Conference and preparing for a ladies conference coming up soon in Jacksonville. All went well.. crazy but good for most of the month. January 23rd the day of the wedding everything at the wedding was wonderful, I left Lakeland on my way that same day to Zephyrhills to celebrate my Aunts 7th birthday when on the way there I was in a very bad car accident. at the time was able to walk away... the car limped away but both left the scene of the accident. which in itself was a miracle. after an MRI and a couple of trips to two different Dr's offices it became evident that I was a mess physically. my BP was off the charts and my weight had doubled up on me and I had gained back 25 of the pounds i worked so hard to get off. I had 5 herniated disc in my back and neck and two bulging discs. As Dr. Keener told me my health had been compromised big time. I was heartborken as I had worked so hard to try to get healthy... now I could not go workout in the gym even if i needed to. I went back on one of my BP meds and was at a loss. Dr. Keener shared with me a new program he was testing out for himself. As he had also just recently gained a bunch of weight during his wife's recent pregnancy. I started the program on February 5th.
on February 17th I made a trip to Jacksonville where my wonderful friend and co-LIfe Purpose Coach Charlyn blessed me with a two day image consultation! we did my color profile, my style guide, I had my hair cut and eyebrows waxed all on one day. then on the second day we went shopping!! lots of new clothes!!! it was soooooo much fun to spend time with this wonderful lady and to come away with a new appreciation for who God made me to be!!!
Ladies conferences in Kissimmee and Jacksonville were both a wonderful success!
And this diet program is phenomenal!!!! I have now been on it for 11 weeks and have lost 53 pounds!!!
Since that time Dr. Keener's mom has moved down from Ga and is running his Lake Mary office, I helped him locate and set up an office in Kissimmee and he is now looking at possibly opening an office in Melbourne.
lots of plans and wonderful things God is doing so i promise to be much better about keeping you up to speed.
blessings, my friends!
so lets start at the beginning of the year since the last posting was my 2009 year in review...
January was a full month... with the wind down from the holidays I hit the ground running with preparations for Bonnie's wedding. I was her maid of honor so dress fittings, decorations etc... I also was working with my new Church Heart Cry in preparations for a Ladies Conference and preparing for a ladies conference coming up soon in Jacksonville. All went well.. crazy but good for most of the month. January 23rd the day of the wedding everything at the wedding was wonderful, I left Lakeland on my way that same day to Zephyrhills to celebrate my Aunts 7th birthday when on the way there I was in a very bad car accident. at the time was able to walk away... the car limped away but both left the scene of the accident. which in itself was a miracle. after an MRI and a couple of trips to two different Dr's offices it became evident that I was a mess physically. my BP was off the charts and my weight had doubled up on me and I had gained back 25 of the pounds i worked so hard to get off. I had 5 herniated disc in my back and neck and two bulging discs. As Dr. Keener told me my health had been compromised big time. I was heartborken as I had worked so hard to try to get healthy... now I could not go workout in the gym even if i needed to. I went back on one of my BP meds and was at a loss. Dr. Keener shared with me a new program he was testing out for himself. As he had also just recently gained a bunch of weight during his wife's recent pregnancy. I started the program on February 5th.
on February 17th I made a trip to Jacksonville where my wonderful friend and co-LIfe Purpose Coach Charlyn blessed me with a two day image consultation! we did my color profile, my style guide, I had my hair cut and eyebrows waxed all on one day. then on the second day we went shopping!! lots of new clothes!!! it was soooooo much fun to spend time with this wonderful lady and to come away with a new appreciation for who God made me to be!!!
Ladies conferences in Kissimmee and Jacksonville were both a wonderful success!
And this diet program is phenomenal!!!! I have now been on it for 11 weeks and have lost 53 pounds!!!
Since that time Dr. Keener's mom has moved down from Ga and is running his Lake Mary office, I helped him locate and set up an office in Kissimmee and he is now looking at possibly opening an office in Melbourne.
lots of plans and wonderful things God is doing so i promise to be much better about keeping you up to speed.
blessings, my friends!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
2009 in Review
As 2009 draws to a close I have spent time over the past several weeks taking what I hope is an honest look back over the past year. It has been a year of major changes. I went back to my post from January and then even some from 2008 and as I read back over these posts I also realized it was a year of extremes, extreme changes to be exact. As a result my mind and my body and my emotions and even my spiritual life are all under extreme stress and as a result I am floundering....
I really do not like this feeling of being so unsettled, of being uncertain. The biggest reason I don't like it is that it has resulted in me being or feeling like I am stagnant and without passion. I feel like a spectator not a participant in life. I recognize there are a lot of lies the enemy is chasing through my head right now. Lots of old tapes that keep playing untruths. I also see that I am involved intimately day by day and min by min in ministry. It has become such a part of my life that it is just normal life for me. I also acknowledge that there is more truth in my head then lies. So why do I even acknowledge the lies. Why do I even give them consideration? Someone told me last week that it is totally possible that God is honoring my cry for total transformation in my life. and that all of this may be the result of that... God truly making me into someone completely different than who I now am... Maybe into the person He created me to be? If nothing else I do know this.... God is faithful and will complete the work He is doing in us!
I challenge each of you to take some time to truly examine where you have been the past year and pray about where and who and what God would have for you in 2010.
Blessings my friends,
I really do not like this feeling of being so unsettled, of being uncertain. The biggest reason I don't like it is that it has resulted in me being or feeling like I am stagnant and without passion. I feel like a spectator not a participant in life. I recognize there are a lot of lies the enemy is chasing through my head right now. Lots of old tapes that keep playing untruths. I also see that I am involved intimately day by day and min by min in ministry. It has become such a part of my life that it is just normal life for me. I also acknowledge that there is more truth in my head then lies. So why do I even acknowledge the lies. Why do I even give them consideration? Someone told me last week that it is totally possible that God is honoring my cry for total transformation in my life. and that all of this may be the result of that... God truly making me into someone completely different than who I now am... Maybe into the person He created me to be? If nothing else I do know this.... God is faithful and will complete the work He is doing in us!
I challenge each of you to take some time to truly examine where you have been the past year and pray about where and who and what God would have for you in 2010.
Blessings my friends,
Friday, November 6, 2009
Zachariah
This morning as I sat down to do my devotions, after an amazing walk in the "cool" of the early morning spent worshiping my God, and watching the sun rise, I found myself laughing out loud. My devotion this morning is about Zachariah. Nine months ago when I was preparing for a Ladies Conference I had prepared a presentation all about Zachariah, however, God must not have been impressed since He did not have me actually deliver the presentation. Well maybe it just wasn't time for me to learn the lessons God wanted me to learn about Zachariah.... stay with me folks... the title of my devotion this week is "Our Power Supply" When I read the introduction and the beginning of my daily devotional I immediately understood God's prompting all those months ago to go to Zachariah for inspiration.
Zachariah was one of God's prophets; a man called to bring God's word to God's people. History tells us that Zachariah's prophecies began two months after Haggai's first message- a message that urged God's people to quit ignoring the shabby condition of God's house and begin to rebuild the Temple, as He desired. God sent Zachariah to encourage and strengthen the people who had just begun rebuilding the Lord's house in obedience to God's world through Haggai.
Our Gracious God wanted His people to remain faithful and establish a close relationship with their Lord rather than merely working on a remodeling project. God wanted to use the rebuilding of the Temple as an opportunity to rebuild the faith and trust of the people who had ignored the Lord;s voice for way too long. God knew that the physical condition of the Temple was indicative of a much deeper problem. In the same way, the Lord calls us to enter into a close relationship with Him, even as we restore the body that years of not taking care of ourselves has torn down. Just as God used the prophet Zachariah to remind His people that they needed Him, He uses programs such as First Place 4 Health to remind us that a love relationship with Him is our first priority.
I am learning that when I put God in the proper place in my life "First Place" then He gives me the power to accomplish the things He wants me to accomplish in my life... including.... are you ready.... becoming truly HEALTHY in all areas of my life, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual and PHYSICAL. In fact God is probably more concerned with the Mental, Emotional and Spiritual than He is with the Physical... since the physical is only temporary.... hmmmmmmm more food for thought.
Blessings everyone!
Zachariah was one of God's prophets; a man called to bring God's word to God's people. History tells us that Zachariah's prophecies began two months after Haggai's first message- a message that urged God's people to quit ignoring the shabby condition of God's house and begin to rebuild the Temple, as He desired. God sent Zachariah to encourage and strengthen the people who had just begun rebuilding the Lord's house in obedience to God's world through Haggai.
Our Gracious God wanted His people to remain faithful and establish a close relationship with their Lord rather than merely working on a remodeling project. God wanted to use the rebuilding of the Temple as an opportunity to rebuild the faith and trust of the people who had ignored the Lord;s voice for way too long. God knew that the physical condition of the Temple was indicative of a much deeper problem. In the same way, the Lord calls us to enter into a close relationship with Him, even as we restore the body that years of not taking care of ourselves has torn down. Just as God used the prophet Zachariah to remind His people that they needed Him, He uses programs such as First Place 4 Health to remind us that a love relationship with Him is our first priority.
I am learning that when I put God in the proper place in my life "First Place" then He gives me the power to accomplish the things He wants me to accomplish in my life... including.... are you ready.... becoming truly HEALTHY in all areas of my life, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual and PHYSICAL. In fact God is probably more concerned with the Mental, Emotional and Spiritual than He is with the Physical... since the physical is only temporary.... hmmmmmmm more food for thought.
Blessings everyone!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Romans 12:1 - A living sacrifice
Let's be honest does that even sound like something to get excited about? A living sacrifice??? No I didn't think so either. In the 29 years of being a Christian I have never been partial to this verse... It doe's not fit into my picture of living the American dream. What we want is a life of ease, not sacrifice. A life of plenty, not sacrifice, A life of excess actually if we are honest, not anything remotely like sacrifice. No matter how you view the word sacrifice, no matter which definition you choose it is not necessarily something I was comfortable with in my life.
This morning this verse was a part of my devotions. I stumbled over it... even reading it caused me to stutter. I however decided I needed to pray about it and meditate on it to get a better understanding of it in relationship to my First Place 4 Health program. (that is the devotional I was working on at the time) I decided it was time to "face the music" so to speak. So on went my walking shoes and out the door I went to "Walk with God" and listen to Him a bit.
here is the results of that time...
I asked God to help reveal to me what the truth was in this verse I needed to figure out and apply to my life. He brought to mind that for far too many years, after reading this verse for the first time, All I could focus on when reading it was the "Holy and acceptable to God" part of the verse. I knew I was not holy and could not figure our a way to be holy. So I knew I would never be acceptable. So I felt helpless... As the years past I knew that presenting my body as a living sacrifice meant I needed to do a bit of sacrificing... sacrificing on the portions sizes and sacrificing on my time spent "relaxing" and get moving... yet, since no matter what, I could not figure out how to be holy... well what was the point, so I would "skip" over this verse each time I read Romans. Which I must admit was not often. I really liked to just skip over the whole book... honestly I got mad at Paul the first time I read Romans and "heard" Paul say... "I do not do the things I want to do instead I do the very things I hate" i thought if even this great man of God cannot do the right thing then what hope is there for me? So I just got frustrated whenever I would read Romans so... well... I just did not read it! How arrogant I was when I was younger... whew! unfortunately this thinking kinda stuck... I will confess I still just kind of "skim" though Romans. or pick out verses that I think apply to a specific situation. (must be time to do a complete study on Romans) Anyway, back on topic... I was walking and seeking answers from God and realized that this thinking from when I was younger about not being holy and then not wanting to "sacrifice" anything especially my favorite foods and my "comfort" led to the enemy telling me I was a failure, always would be a failure and I believed his lies... I have not consciously thought that in years, but this is part of the wrong thinking deeply embedded in my brain. Thinking that needs to be rooted out and tossed in the trash heap since it is trash! trash the enemy has filled my head with. Truth is... No I am not Holy, can never be holy in and by myself. It is only through Christ. it is His holiness that God sees when He looks at me. I will sin, I will make mistakes, I have a sin nature that will never go away until I pass over into eternity. However, I need to strive to allow God to continue to transform me each and every day. I need to understand I cannot do it! I cannot make myself holy, I cannot make myself acceptable to God in anyway other than to submit to Him. Surrender all of my life to Him. Surrender my wants and desires even my battles. I need to allow Him to fight them. Allow Him to give me the strength to get up and get moving each morning, allow Him to give me the strength and the ability to say no and mean it when offered something that is unhealthy for me. Allow Him to direct my path away from the chips or the ice cream or what ever isle in grocery store holds the most temptation for me this week. He can and He will. He also will provide for me healthy and flavorful and amazing treats that will strengthen me physically, emotionally and mentally while He builds me up in the spiritual. He will be faithful to fulfill ALL of His promises to me if I allow Him to. He will walk with me to help me get moving. He will be in the gym with me cheering me on. He will share truth with me and help me pull the lies out of my mind that are wrapping their roots deeply into my subconscious mind and making me feel so defeated. He will encourage me and build me up in His loves me and delights in healing the emotions that have been trampled on by so many. He and He alone can and will heal my broken places, help me to let go of my bad habits, and throw away the hangups that have immobilized me for so many years. I CANNOT DO IT!!!! only HE CAN!!!! I need to quit trying to do His job, and instead get out of His way giving Him permission to do the work necessary to make me healthy.
God is so AWESOME.... I will continue to bask in the repair work He is so faithfully doing in my life! I pray that you are allowing Him to do some in your life as well...
Blessings,
This morning this verse was a part of my devotions. I stumbled over it... even reading it caused me to stutter. I however decided I needed to pray about it and meditate on it to get a better understanding of it in relationship to my First Place 4 Health program. (that is the devotional I was working on at the time) I decided it was time to "face the music" so to speak. So on went my walking shoes and out the door I went to "Walk with God" and listen to Him a bit.
here is the results of that time...
I asked God to help reveal to me what the truth was in this verse I needed to figure out and apply to my life. He brought to mind that for far too many years, after reading this verse for the first time, All I could focus on when reading it was the "Holy and acceptable to God" part of the verse. I knew I was not holy and could not figure our a way to be holy. So I knew I would never be acceptable. So I felt helpless... As the years past I knew that presenting my body as a living sacrifice meant I needed to do a bit of sacrificing... sacrificing on the portions sizes and sacrificing on my time spent "relaxing" and get moving... yet, since no matter what, I could not figure out how to be holy... well what was the point, so I would "skip" over this verse each time I read Romans. Which I must admit was not often. I really liked to just skip over the whole book... honestly I got mad at Paul the first time I read Romans and "heard" Paul say... "I do not do the things I want to do instead I do the very things I hate" i thought if even this great man of God cannot do the right thing then what hope is there for me? So I just got frustrated whenever I would read Romans so... well... I just did not read it! How arrogant I was when I was younger... whew! unfortunately this thinking kinda stuck... I will confess I still just kind of "skim" though Romans. or pick out verses that I think apply to a specific situation. (must be time to do a complete study on Romans) Anyway, back on topic... I was walking and seeking answers from God and realized that this thinking from when I was younger about not being holy and then not wanting to "sacrifice" anything especially my favorite foods and my "comfort" led to the enemy telling me I was a failure, always would be a failure and I believed his lies... I have not consciously thought that in years, but this is part of the wrong thinking deeply embedded in my brain. Thinking that needs to be rooted out and tossed in the trash heap since it is trash! trash the enemy has filled my head with. Truth is... No I am not Holy, can never be holy in and by myself. It is only through Christ. it is His holiness that God sees when He looks at me. I will sin, I will make mistakes, I have a sin nature that will never go away until I pass over into eternity. However, I need to strive to allow God to continue to transform me each and every day. I need to understand I cannot do it! I cannot make myself holy, I cannot make myself acceptable to God in anyway other than to submit to Him. Surrender all of my life to Him. Surrender my wants and desires even my battles. I need to allow Him to fight them. Allow Him to give me the strength to get up and get moving each morning, allow Him to give me the strength and the ability to say no and mean it when offered something that is unhealthy for me. Allow Him to direct my path away from the chips or the ice cream or what ever isle in grocery store holds the most temptation for me this week. He can and He will. He also will provide for me healthy and flavorful and amazing treats that will strengthen me physically, emotionally and mentally while He builds me up in the spiritual. He will be faithful to fulfill ALL of His promises to me if I allow Him to. He will walk with me to help me get moving. He will be in the gym with me cheering me on. He will share truth with me and help me pull the lies out of my mind that are wrapping their roots deeply into my subconscious mind and making me feel so defeated. He will encourage me and build me up in His loves me and delights in healing the emotions that have been trampled on by so many. He and He alone can and will heal my broken places, help me to let go of my bad habits, and throw away the hangups that have immobilized me for so many years. I CANNOT DO IT!!!! only HE CAN!!!! I need to quit trying to do His job, and instead get out of His way giving Him permission to do the work necessary to make me healthy.
God is so AWESOME.... I will continue to bask in the repair work He is so faithfully doing in my life! I pray that you are allowing Him to do some in your life as well...
Blessings,
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Defining and Refining our Vision
I love how God takes us through different seasons in life. I am beginning to appreciate how during different seasons of life how our dreams change, and things that were once very important are no longer so important and things we once thought insignificant become vitally important! I understand there are lessons learned, relationships built and concepts embraced. Then just as the winds begin to blow in a different direction things begin to shift. there are new questions, relationships change and concepts are refined. Solomon spoke of this in Ecclesiastics chapter 3 in his "time for everything" verses... you know the ones, For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest.... and so on. (if you are not familiar with them look them up and read them. Remember Solomon was the wisest man whom ever lived!)
well all that to say that I have been working on a vision board. I had heard of this concept many years ago, even did one or two in my teens. then had the concept reintroduced to me earlier this week and was inspired to work on one. Interestingly today while working on collecting some pictures to represent things in life I want to be a part of my life. I discovered something very interesting...
I was irresistibly and incredibly drawn to pictures of people and things outdoors. I started to notice all the photos I was tearing out of magazines were in outdoor settings. I started to think about this and pray for God to reveal to me what this was about... Because the truth is I an not a very outdoor kind of person. After some time in prayer, I realized that has not always been true. All of my earliest memories are of being outdoors. I remembered a conversation that must have taken place when I was in first grade between my parents in the family car while driving. We had just visited two different homes. My parents had decided to sell the farm and move into town. On the way back to the farm, Mom and Dad were discussing the merits of the each home trying to decided if one or the other would be the best for us. Dad turns and looks at me and with a big smile on his face says to mom... "I know which one Kathy would like. her eyes lit up and just sparkled with she seen the large back yard and the beautiful flower gardens at the one on such and such street. She was already to set up her play area right in the middle of the yard." What a sweet wonderful memory! I realize that it was moving to Florida several years after that, and trying to deal with the heat that made me an indoor hermit. I suddenly miss very much being outside!
I sure wish the weather would turn cooler so I could spend some time outside... I'm gonna have to give this some serious thought and spend some time in prayer about it.
I encourage you to tackle a vision board... not sure what one is google it!
Blessings my friends,
well all that to say that I have been working on a vision board. I had heard of this concept many years ago, even did one or two in my teens. then had the concept reintroduced to me earlier this week and was inspired to work on one. Interestingly today while working on collecting some pictures to represent things in life I want to be a part of my life. I discovered something very interesting...
I was irresistibly and incredibly drawn to pictures of people and things outdoors. I started to notice all the photos I was tearing out of magazines were in outdoor settings. I started to think about this and pray for God to reveal to me what this was about... Because the truth is I an not a very outdoor kind of person. After some time in prayer, I realized that has not always been true. All of my earliest memories are of being outdoors. I remembered a conversation that must have taken place when I was in first grade between my parents in the family car while driving. We had just visited two different homes. My parents had decided to sell the farm and move into town. On the way back to the farm, Mom and Dad were discussing the merits of the each home trying to decided if one or the other would be the best for us. Dad turns and looks at me and with a big smile on his face says to mom... "I know which one Kathy would like. her eyes lit up and just sparkled with she seen the large back yard and the beautiful flower gardens at the one on such and such street. She was already to set up her play area right in the middle of the yard." What a sweet wonderful memory! I realize that it was moving to Florida several years after that, and trying to deal with the heat that made me an indoor hermit. I suddenly miss very much being outside!
I sure wish the weather would turn cooler so I could spend some time outside... I'm gonna have to give this some serious thought and spend some time in prayer about it.
I encourage you to tackle a vision board... not sure what one is google it!
Blessings my friends,
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Do we really Believe?
This morning as part of my devotions I had one of those DUH moments! Understanding something in a conceptual way is one things, yet when all of a sudden we "Get it" and we can apply it to our lives... that is a DUH moment! This was one of those moments.
I was reading 2 Chronicles 20: 20 - 24 as part of my First Place 4 Health Bible Study. Here are those verses so you also can read them.
20 Early in the morning they left for the Desert of Tekoa. As they set out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, "Listen to me, Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the LORD your God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful." 21 After consulting the people, Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the LORD and to praise him for the splendor of his holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying:
"Give thanks to the LORD,
for his love endures forever."
22 As they began to sing and praise, the LORD set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated. 23 The men of Ammon and Moab rose up against the men from Mount Seir to destroy and annihilate them. After they finished slaughtering the men from Seir, they helped to destroy one another.
24 When the men of Judah came to the place that overlooks the desert and looked toward the vast army, they saw only dead bodies lying on the ground; no one had escaped."
So, the first thing I see here is that Because of the men going before the army singing praises to God, God is pleased and goes ahead of them and defeats their enemy before they ever arrive. I have to wonder since I know God is the same yesterday today and tomorrow. How many times God went ahead of me and defeated my enemies before I ever arrived in their presence and I never even knew it? and how if I had been singing praises to my God thanking Him for His loving kindness to me, praising Him for His faithfulness, How many battles could I have avoided?
The second truth that jumped up and smacked me in the head this morning was Sometimes the battle is not our but God's. How many times do I try fighting battles that God never intended for me to fight? How many times do I fret and fuss and worry about something, worrying about how I am going to accomplish something when it seems impossible. I play it over and over in my head. Let's go back t the verses above... in verse 20 Jehoshaphat tells them to "Have faith in the LORD your God and you will be upheld;" so if I truly had faith, If I truly believed in God's faithfulness to me I would not worry about it. I would not fret about it because I would know it would all be OK. Just like it was here for the army. because they had faith in God, because they went about their way praising God for His lovingkindness, God went before them and destroyed their enemies before they ever arrived. Now if you move on to verse 25 you will see not only did God fight the battle for them... He blessed them beyond measure!
So I ask you how many of us are missing out on blessings, overflowing blessings, because we fail to trust God and to Praise Him for His lovingkindness?
none of this is new information to me... But today I seen it in a very new way! Hopefully starting now and for all my tomorrows I will apply it in a whole new way!
Blessings,
I was reading 2 Chronicles 20: 20 - 24 as part of my First Place 4 Health Bible Study. Here are those verses so you also can read them.
20 Early in the morning they left for the Desert of Tekoa. As they set out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, "Listen to me, Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the LORD your God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful." 21 After consulting the people, Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the LORD and to praise him for the splendor of his holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying:
"Give thanks to the LORD,
for his love endures forever."
22 As they began to sing and praise, the LORD set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated. 23 The men of Ammon and Moab rose up against the men from Mount Seir to destroy and annihilate them. After they finished slaughtering the men from Seir, they helped to destroy one another.
24 When the men of Judah came to the place that overlooks the desert and looked toward the vast army, they saw only dead bodies lying on the ground; no one had escaped."
So, the first thing I see here is that Because of the men going before the army singing praises to God, God is pleased and goes ahead of them and defeats their enemy before they ever arrive. I have to wonder since I know God is the same yesterday today and tomorrow. How many times God went ahead of me and defeated my enemies before I ever arrived in their presence and I never even knew it? and how if I had been singing praises to my God thanking Him for His loving kindness to me, praising Him for His faithfulness, How many battles could I have avoided?
The second truth that jumped up and smacked me in the head this morning was Sometimes the battle is not our but God's. How many times do I try fighting battles that God never intended for me to fight? How many times do I fret and fuss and worry about something, worrying about how I am going to accomplish something when it seems impossible. I play it over and over in my head. Let's go back t the verses above... in verse 20 Jehoshaphat tells them to "Have faith in the LORD your God and you will be upheld;" so if I truly had faith, If I truly believed in God's faithfulness to me I would not worry about it. I would not fret about it because I would know it would all be OK. Just like it was here for the army. because they had faith in God, because they went about their way praising God for His lovingkindness, God went before them and destroyed their enemies before they ever arrived. Now if you move on to verse 25 you will see not only did God fight the battle for them... He blessed them beyond measure!
So I ask you how many of us are missing out on blessings, overflowing blessings, because we fail to trust God and to Praise Him for His lovingkindness?
none of this is new information to me... But today I seen it in a very new way! Hopefully starting now and for all my tomorrows I will apply it in a whole new way!
Blessings,
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Surrender sweet Surrender
Why is it that we fight so hard the sweet release we feel once we surrender? Why is it that we so very much fight to hang on to the things we know we need to surrender? especially when we have been down the trail to surrender and found it to be such a sweet sweet place and the joy of freedom we find on on the other side has no equal does it?
After my long battle with trying to maintain some small grasp of control of my life, last Sunday I finally gave in and surrendered it all to God. I went forward at church and requested prayer from the pastor regarding me getting actively involved in the ministry God would place me in at this church. Then made the phone calls I needed to make to be obedient to Gods direction to pull out of things I had no business being committed to. (good things, just not things God wants me to focus on right now) Then this afternoon I had a long conversation with the pastor at my new church. I shared my testimony with him and some of the highlights of the ministries I have been involved in over the past few years and some of the things God has done in my life. He was quite interested and wants to continue the conversation soon. I have told him to please be in prayer regarding where I might be able to serve the congregation. I told him I am there because I believe that is where God wants me to be and that I am wiling to serve where He believes I can best be of assistance to the church body.
I cannot begin to tell you what a wonderful sweet feeling it was to finally take that step and be willing to do whatever it is that God would have me do here at this church.
So again I ask why is it that we fight so hard letting go and surrendering to the will of God in our lives?
After my long battle with trying to maintain some small grasp of control of my life, last Sunday I finally gave in and surrendered it all to God. I went forward at church and requested prayer from the pastor regarding me getting actively involved in the ministry God would place me in at this church. Then made the phone calls I needed to make to be obedient to Gods direction to pull out of things I had no business being committed to. (good things, just not things God wants me to focus on right now) Then this afternoon I had a long conversation with the pastor at my new church. I shared my testimony with him and some of the highlights of the ministries I have been involved in over the past few years and some of the things God has done in my life. He was quite interested and wants to continue the conversation soon. I have told him to please be in prayer regarding where I might be able to serve the congregation. I told him I am there because I believe that is where God wants me to be and that I am wiling to serve where He believes I can best be of assistance to the church body.
I cannot begin to tell you what a wonderful sweet feeling it was to finally take that step and be willing to do whatever it is that God would have me do here at this church.
So again I ask why is it that we fight so hard letting go and surrendering to the will of God in our lives?
Sunday, September 20, 2009
His will not mine...
I have never been so frustrated in my life, as I am today. At least not that I can remember. I am going to try to share where I am right now and how I am feeling. I apologize in advance for how real this is about to get... I just know that I have to put this into words so I can go back and read it until I get it...
I had been walking on a mountain top for several months. Then in a matter of a few days I came sliding down the side of that mountain into a very deep valley. I know that it is all part of God shaping me to be the women He wants me to be and part of that is simply learning to listen to Him and obeying Him. bowing gracefully to His will for my life and not mine. I have for the past two months now been heavily engaged in a battle for control of ALL of my life. Every single activity and minute. right here this morning I have been trying to complete an activity that should take just minutes. Yet every time I try to accomplish it, I can't, I forget how to do simple things that I know how to do. I cannot find the tools on the toolbar. I draw a blank when trying to think thought the simplest steps. The sad part of this frustration is this is something That I hear God telling me not to do, yet I keep trying to do. This is not the direction He wants me to go in. This is not an activity I should be doing. I don't really believe that the activity itself is such a big deal to God. It is my obedience. It is me learning to say no. It is me doing the things God wants me to do without being sidetracked by other "good" things. It is me being more concerned with what God thinks and not so much about what others think of me. it is me not being able to repay all that God has done for me. it is me understanding that God chooses to bless me and favor me not for what I will do in return to repay it, but allowing myself to be blessed. Not that there is anything "bad" in me helping others. we are supposed to help others. the issue here is my motive. Why I am doing these things. My motive is wrong. My thinking is wrong. I am doing these things because I want to please the people. I want to payback in some way the blessings they have been in my life. Pay back the hands that delivered to me the Gifts my Lord wanted to give me. It is me needing to understand that God has a plan for my life and I need to follow that plan. I need to learn to not get so bogged down with all the good things I am doing, that I am unable to give 100% to the thing or things He wants me to do.
It is, bottom line... me being obedient to God's calling on MY life, and becoming the women He wants ME to become.
I have two very dear friends that I have agreed to do things for. that I know I have to call and tell them I can not do the things I agreed to do. My heart hurts so much over this. I do not want to disappoint these women, who are both counting on me to do these things. both are things I want to do. but I also realize that my motives are not correct, nor is my reasoning for wanting to do them. I also know that I need to learn to stop and pray about things before agreeing to do them. I need to count the cost before agreeing to do things. and even simple things that I should be able to handle quickly and efficiently I need to do this for. Because lots of little small tasks have the ability to keep my focus off those things God would have me be involved in. I also know that God is not going to allow these two wonderful women to be left in the lurch. He will raise up others to do these things for them. I wish it could be me... I know that it is not. I also know my God is faithful to supply all our needs and He will supply the needs of these two women as well.
Another part of this, and another situation I find myself in, is I struggle with just accepting God's gifts and blessings. I find myself wanting to in some way repay those who are the hands of blessing in my life. I find that I cannot repay them, and so I feel guilty for accepting the blessings. All wrong thinking I know. I know that those who God is using to bless me would be upset if they knew how I was feeling. (so if you are one of those people in my life and you are reading this please don't be upset, instead pray that God truly heals me in this area of my life) That is truly what this is all about. this is just another part of God's faithfulness in my life to help me achieve health. remember this journey I am on is not just about physical health but also about spiritual, emotional and mental health. That's it!!!! This is all about spiritual, emotional and mental health!
Yes, I get it... I just need to really GET IT! and be able to APPLY IT!!! now that is where the rubber meets the road. Scripture tells us to confess our sins one to another. and so here it is... allow this to be my confession of how messed up my thinking is and how my messed up thinking has led me to sin by not counting the cost of things the way God has commanded us to. It has led me to sin by being more concerned with what others thought of me than being obedient to what God is asking me to do. I need to correct that today! I do not ever want to put others above God. Yet I have. I have been so concerned about what others might think, that I have not been obedient. I have to realize I cannot and should not attempt to repay anyone for what God is doing in my life by their words, deeds or hands. I need to Thank God for His provision and blessings and thank them for being Gods, hands, words and deeds in my life and leave it at that, unless God directs me otherwise.
Scripture also tells us to be a witness to others how God works in our lives. so here I show you how I have come to realize that this is all an exercise that God has orchestrated to show me His love and faithfulness and guidance and loving direction in my life. It is all a part of Him molding me and shaping me to become the women He would have me be. It is about me learning submission and surrender to His will not mine... Like the words of the Lincoln Brewster song... "I have given you my heart and all that is within me... I lay it all down, for the sake of you my King. I have given you my dreams, I'm laying down my lies, I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life, and I surrender, all to you... all to you... and I surrender, all to you... all to you!!!" Today I make this my prayer. one I will probably need to pray daily, maybe even hourly... I know that God knows my heart and God loves me and God forgives me. Even when I have days like this where I get frustrated and do not immediately get to where He would have me to be. I know that He is a gentle and patient Father who will love me in spite of it all. Our God is faithful, our God is all loving, all wise and truly does want the very best for us. He promised us that He came to give us life and life more abundant. He and He alone knows what that will be in our lives and He will bring it to pass, if we allow Him to!
Blessing to you all,
I had been walking on a mountain top for several months. Then in a matter of a few days I came sliding down the side of that mountain into a very deep valley. I know that it is all part of God shaping me to be the women He wants me to be and part of that is simply learning to listen to Him and obeying Him. bowing gracefully to His will for my life and not mine. I have for the past two months now been heavily engaged in a battle for control of ALL of my life. Every single activity and minute. right here this morning I have been trying to complete an activity that should take just minutes. Yet every time I try to accomplish it, I can't, I forget how to do simple things that I know how to do. I cannot find the tools on the toolbar. I draw a blank when trying to think thought the simplest steps. The sad part of this frustration is this is something That I hear God telling me not to do, yet I keep trying to do. This is not the direction He wants me to go in. This is not an activity I should be doing. I don't really believe that the activity itself is such a big deal to God. It is my obedience. It is me learning to say no. It is me doing the things God wants me to do without being sidetracked by other "good" things. It is me being more concerned with what God thinks and not so much about what others think of me. it is me not being able to repay all that God has done for me. it is me understanding that God chooses to bless me and favor me not for what I will do in return to repay it, but allowing myself to be blessed. Not that there is anything "bad" in me helping others. we are supposed to help others. the issue here is my motive. Why I am doing these things. My motive is wrong. My thinking is wrong. I am doing these things because I want to please the people. I want to payback in some way the blessings they have been in my life. Pay back the hands that delivered to me the Gifts my Lord wanted to give me. It is me needing to understand that God has a plan for my life and I need to follow that plan. I need to learn to not get so bogged down with all the good things I am doing, that I am unable to give 100% to the thing or things He wants me to do.
It is, bottom line... me being obedient to God's calling on MY life, and becoming the women He wants ME to become.
I have two very dear friends that I have agreed to do things for. that I know I have to call and tell them I can not do the things I agreed to do. My heart hurts so much over this. I do not want to disappoint these women, who are both counting on me to do these things. both are things I want to do. but I also realize that my motives are not correct, nor is my reasoning for wanting to do them. I also know that I need to learn to stop and pray about things before agreeing to do them. I need to count the cost before agreeing to do things. and even simple things that I should be able to handle quickly and efficiently I need to do this for. Because lots of little small tasks have the ability to keep my focus off those things God would have me be involved in. I also know that God is not going to allow these two wonderful women to be left in the lurch. He will raise up others to do these things for them. I wish it could be me... I know that it is not. I also know my God is faithful to supply all our needs and He will supply the needs of these two women as well.
Another part of this, and another situation I find myself in, is I struggle with just accepting God's gifts and blessings. I find myself wanting to in some way repay those who are the hands of blessing in my life. I find that I cannot repay them, and so I feel guilty for accepting the blessings. All wrong thinking I know. I know that those who God is using to bless me would be upset if they knew how I was feeling. (so if you are one of those people in my life and you are reading this please don't be upset, instead pray that God truly heals me in this area of my life) That is truly what this is all about. this is just another part of God's faithfulness in my life to help me achieve health. remember this journey I am on is not just about physical health but also about spiritual, emotional and mental health. That's it!!!! This is all about spiritual, emotional and mental health!
Yes, I get it... I just need to really GET IT! and be able to APPLY IT!!! now that is where the rubber meets the road. Scripture tells us to confess our sins one to another. and so here it is... allow this to be my confession of how messed up my thinking is and how my messed up thinking has led me to sin by not counting the cost of things the way God has commanded us to. It has led me to sin by being more concerned with what others thought of me than being obedient to what God is asking me to do. I need to correct that today! I do not ever want to put others above God. Yet I have. I have been so concerned about what others might think, that I have not been obedient. I have to realize I cannot and should not attempt to repay anyone for what God is doing in my life by their words, deeds or hands. I need to Thank God for His provision and blessings and thank them for being Gods, hands, words and deeds in my life and leave it at that, unless God directs me otherwise.
Scripture also tells us to be a witness to others how God works in our lives. so here I show you how I have come to realize that this is all an exercise that God has orchestrated to show me His love and faithfulness and guidance and loving direction in my life. It is all a part of Him molding me and shaping me to become the women He would have me be. It is about me learning submission and surrender to His will not mine... Like the words of the Lincoln Brewster song... "I have given you my heart and all that is within me... I lay it all down, for the sake of you my King. I have given you my dreams, I'm laying down my lies, I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life, and I surrender, all to you... all to you... and I surrender, all to you... all to you!!!" Today I make this my prayer. one I will probably need to pray daily, maybe even hourly... I know that God knows my heart and God loves me and God forgives me. Even when I have days like this where I get frustrated and do not immediately get to where He would have me to be. I know that He is a gentle and patient Father who will love me in spite of it all. Our God is faithful, our God is all loving, all wise and truly does want the very best for us. He promised us that He came to give us life and life more abundant. He and He alone knows what that will be in our lives and He will bring it to pass, if we allow Him to!
Blessing to you all,
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Perseverance
Perseverance is a word that has been hounding me for weeks... God does that sometimes to me, does He do that to you? When there is something He wants me to get, that word, thought, situation or process repeats itself over and over in my life! So it is with the word perseverance. the latest in a long string of incidents involving this is a conference call that was scheduled months ago. When the speaker was chosen and she chose her topic, just a week or so ago, she chose the topic of... yes, you guessed it, perseverance! Even more unusual at that point was another of the ladies who was going to be on the call when she heard the topic e-mailed back to everyone saying how much she needed that. I laughingly wrote back to everyone and said "you may need it but I know God intends for me to hear it!" This journey has been a long hard journey and I know that I have not been staying the course very well lately. Well the call did not happen the way we had hoped yet I am sure it is exactly how God intended. We did have a great call with just three of us sharing. The women who felt she needed the call, the presenter and I were the only ones on the call. It was a great time of sharing and praying! later in the day I received an e-mail from the presenter with some encouraging words and something in her e-mail got me thinking. I have been feeling a loss of passion in my life, feeling like maybe this was a time to slow down and reevaluate where I am in my spiritual life and my ministries. Maybe God was trying to prepare me for yet another part of my life to be in transition.I have been hearing “be still and know that I am God” and wondering if this is not a time of waiting in my life. God has been moving so fast and so furiously that many times I talked about my head spinning, because of the incredibly fast pace God was changing things in my life. I wondered, if this was not a much needed rest for my mind and body, to allow my heart to catch up with everything God is doing. However, after reading her e-mail I was reminded of how Satan tempted Jesus with scripture and even though Jesus was “hearing the word” it was not what God wanted for Him, so Jesus rebuked the enemy and all that he was tempting Him with. I agree that it is very tempting for me to slow down and take some time off to allow my heart and mind to catch up. Another dear friend, when we were talking a few weeks ago during my trip to NC, told me she was almost angry at what she was seeing and hearing from me. She believed it was the enemy trying to take back ground that God had already given to me…. At first I was shocked and completely resistant to the idea. Now I am not so sure. One thing I do know is that God is not the author of confusion. That would be the enemy. So since I am feeling very confused right now as to which way to allow my thoughts to flow I know that the enemy (even if this enemy is my own human nature) is at work in my life. I would ask for your prayers as I continue to struggle through all that is happening. I Know that my Lord is the victor in this battle. I know that He desires great and mighty things in my life. I also know that His greatest desire is for Him and I to have a relationship that is beyond description. I will choose to work on that for now and allow other things to naturally fall into place as I put Him in first place in my life. I know that there are good things He has prepared for me to do yet that is not His first desire for me. So I, like Mary of Bethany, will choose that which is better. I will choose for now to sit at His feet and listen to His voice. Want to join me?
Hmmmmm lots to think about and pray about.
Hmmmmm lots to think about and pray about.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Planting New Dreams
A few weeks ago I was approached by my life coach, who has become a dear friend, to write a story, my story, well at least part of it. It would be for a chapter in a book she is currently writing called planting new dreams. At the time I honestly just blew it off. I have been approached by many wonderful friends through the years about writing my story. It is nothing I have felt compelled to do. I know I have a story to tell. It is a story of a Love so amazing and wonderful that it touches the hearts of all those who hear it and has the ability to transform their lives.
Why then you ask, would I blow off the opportunity to share such a story? Well, for several reasons. The biggest, because the timing was just not right, until possibly now... Please allow me to explain...
I am in a place in my life right now where everything is in transition. Everything is not as it was... If you have been following this blog you know that. You have read about most of those changes and transitions. You have read how I have struggled though getting my certification as a life purpose coach, through my struggle to stop smoking, my emotional and mental struggle about becoming a missionary, my challenges with my children becoming adults and moving out of my home, through the beginning of my weight loss journey and the challenge God graciously allowed me to win. One of the biggest transitions God has me in though, is his direction to me about being transplanted. When God clearly told me it was time to leave my church home of 15 years i felt my heart break. The analogy was very clear It was about a plant having outgrown it's little pot and if it was not transplanted it would never become the large plant it was supposed to be. So, with tears in my eyes and with a huge hole in my heart I bid goodbye to my church family and began the search for a new church home. I visited several churches specifically searching out "larger" churches, as I felt that would be the "bigger pot" God spoke of in His analogy. well, all were bigger except for the first one I visited. the first one was a small start up church. They were meeting in a store front. very casual, very small, very different than the "churches" I had attended in the past and those I visited on this journey. yet something about this church had drawn me from the first time I seen a sign promoting it in my community.
A few weeks ago I felt compelled to return. Then again the following week. At the third visit I started questioning God if this was possibly where I might belong, even if for just a season. Today I returned for the 4th time. Halfway though what I thought was a pretty typical and honestly pretty tame message, based on I Corinthians 12: 12-28 about the body of Christ, something happened that rocked my world. The Pastor was preaching on how we are all part of the body and each has been given different gifts and how each is important none more than the other. Then the Pastor takes a wide turn to the right and asks us to go to a verse in Colossians Chapter 2 verse 7 where it says "rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with Thanksgiving." I was pretty confused what did that have to do with being part of the body. Huh? I sat up straight and tried to follow... He walked over to a table where on it rested two potted plants and he tells us that we need to be planted and not potted. He picks up this tall beautiful blooming plant in one of the pots and tells us that unfortunately although this plant looks healthy the truth is it is not planted it is potted. He pulls the plant out of the clay pot and proceeds to show us how root bound it is. We can see that the roots are all tangled and tightly wound up in itself. The Pastor used this as an analogy to share how some of us can come and sit in church each week and we have no idea how wound up in themselves they are. How they never reach out to others to be a part of all that is going on or to interact with the "body of believer they only appear to be a part of.
Then he walks over to the other plant and pulls it out of the pot it is in and shows us how the roots of this plant are not all wound up around themselves how they are actually growing out and down and how this plant although in a clay pot is actually planted and growing. He used this as an analogy of how we as Christians need to allow our roots to grow down into Gods word and His love and how they need to grow out to grab hold of others because it is when our roots grow out that we are able to touch others. How it is when we wrap ourselves around them that we gain and give strength and sustenance. God then reminded me of a place in my garden out back where there is a gardenia plant my children gave me many years ago. I planted it between two trees and how years later I realized that the root of the one tree had grown around this plant and completely encased the trunk of this gardenia bush within itself. Then the pastor picked up a hammer and smashed the pot the one plant was Potted in and told us it might be time to break out of the pots that were holding us back from being a part of the body. Allowing us to be planted into the fellowship, and love of the body where all strength comes from. He then took us to a favorite verse of mine in Jeremiah 17:8 where the word tells us we shall be like a tree planted by the waters where our roots will grow deep and spread out and we will yield much fruit.
As I looked at the dirt and broken pottery scattered on the table surrounding the plants I heard God whisper to my heart It is time again to be planted. How awesome that God continued to use the analogy of plants and being planted to clearly articulate to me His will for this next season of my life. It is time to once again allow the soil of my heart to be open to allowing God to plant a few new dreams in my life. I know this will not be easy, I can hear my mom telling me many years ago that a transplanted plant needs lots of food, water and sunshine to grow. She shared with me that it is hard work for a newly transplanted plant to grow deep roots and become a healthy part of the garden. I know that this next season of my life will require much hard and intentional work on my part. I will need the nutrition gained from the spiritual disciplins God has taught me in the past I will also need large quantities of God's word, the living water and Large amounts of time spent in the "Sonshine", to be spiritually healthy and grow strong deep roots. Roots that grow out to reach others. Honestly this scares me I feel tremors in my heart. I also am reminded of an answer provided to me by a wise man. He recently told me that the reason we feel scared and trembling in our soul when we know we are following Gods will for us is that all growth takes place outside of our comfort zone.
So I take a moment to follow the advice of another God placed in my life many years ago and I breath, just still my mind and heart and breath... I am reminded that I know that I know, that I know, that my God is Faithful to never leave me nor forsake me and that He has great plans for me! Plans to prosper me, to give me a future with hope. That He is with me, and takes great delight in me. He will quiet me with His love and He will rejoice over me with signing. I now find myself knowing I can do nothing but praise His name and rest in His love and righteousness as I allow the new dreams He is planting to take root and flourish in my life.
Blessing my friends,
Why then you ask, would I blow off the opportunity to share such a story? Well, for several reasons. The biggest, because the timing was just not right, until possibly now... Please allow me to explain...
I am in a place in my life right now where everything is in transition. Everything is not as it was... If you have been following this blog you know that. You have read about most of those changes and transitions. You have read how I have struggled though getting my certification as a life purpose coach, through my struggle to stop smoking, my emotional and mental struggle about becoming a missionary, my challenges with my children becoming adults and moving out of my home, through the beginning of my weight loss journey and the challenge God graciously allowed me to win. One of the biggest transitions God has me in though, is his direction to me about being transplanted. When God clearly told me it was time to leave my church home of 15 years i felt my heart break. The analogy was very clear It was about a plant having outgrown it's little pot and if it was not transplanted it would never become the large plant it was supposed to be. So, with tears in my eyes and with a huge hole in my heart I bid goodbye to my church family and began the search for a new church home. I visited several churches specifically searching out "larger" churches, as I felt that would be the "bigger pot" God spoke of in His analogy. well, all were bigger except for the first one I visited. the first one was a small start up church. They were meeting in a store front. very casual, very small, very different than the "churches" I had attended in the past and those I visited on this journey. yet something about this church had drawn me from the first time I seen a sign promoting it in my community.
A few weeks ago I felt compelled to return. Then again the following week. At the third visit I started questioning God if this was possibly where I might belong, even if for just a season. Today I returned for the 4th time. Halfway though what I thought was a pretty typical and honestly pretty tame message, based on I Corinthians 12: 12-28 about the body of Christ, something happened that rocked my world. The Pastor was preaching on how we are all part of the body and each has been given different gifts and how each is important none more than the other. Then the Pastor takes a wide turn to the right and asks us to go to a verse in Colossians Chapter 2 verse 7 where it says "rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with Thanksgiving." I was pretty confused what did that have to do with being part of the body. Huh? I sat up straight and tried to follow... He walked over to a table where on it rested two potted plants and he tells us that we need to be planted and not potted. He picks up this tall beautiful blooming plant in one of the pots and tells us that unfortunately although this plant looks healthy the truth is it is not planted it is potted. He pulls the plant out of the clay pot and proceeds to show us how root bound it is. We can see that the roots are all tangled and tightly wound up in itself. The Pastor used this as an analogy to share how some of us can come and sit in church each week and we have no idea how wound up in themselves they are. How they never reach out to others to be a part of all that is going on or to interact with the "body of believer they only appear to be a part of.
Then he walks over to the other plant and pulls it out of the pot it is in and shows us how the roots of this plant are not all wound up around themselves how they are actually growing out and down and how this plant although in a clay pot is actually planted and growing. He used this as an analogy of how we as Christians need to allow our roots to grow down into Gods word and His love and how they need to grow out to grab hold of others because it is when our roots grow out that we are able to touch others. How it is when we wrap ourselves around them that we gain and give strength and sustenance. God then reminded me of a place in my garden out back where there is a gardenia plant my children gave me many years ago. I planted it between two trees and how years later I realized that the root of the one tree had grown around this plant and completely encased the trunk of this gardenia bush within itself. Then the pastor picked up a hammer and smashed the pot the one plant was Potted in and told us it might be time to break out of the pots that were holding us back from being a part of the body. Allowing us to be planted into the fellowship, and love of the body where all strength comes from. He then took us to a favorite verse of mine in Jeremiah 17:8 where the word tells us we shall be like a tree planted by the waters where our roots will grow deep and spread out and we will yield much fruit.
As I looked at the dirt and broken pottery scattered on the table surrounding the plants I heard God whisper to my heart It is time again to be planted. How awesome that God continued to use the analogy of plants and being planted to clearly articulate to me His will for this next season of my life. It is time to once again allow the soil of my heart to be open to allowing God to plant a few new dreams in my life. I know this will not be easy, I can hear my mom telling me many years ago that a transplanted plant needs lots of food, water and sunshine to grow. She shared with me that it is hard work for a newly transplanted plant to grow deep roots and become a healthy part of the garden. I know that this next season of my life will require much hard and intentional work on my part. I will need the nutrition gained from the spiritual disciplins God has taught me in the past I will also need large quantities of God's word, the living water and Large amounts of time spent in the "Sonshine", to be spiritually healthy and grow strong deep roots. Roots that grow out to reach others. Honestly this scares me I feel tremors in my heart. I also am reminded of an answer provided to me by a wise man. He recently told me that the reason we feel scared and trembling in our soul when we know we are following Gods will for us is that all growth takes place outside of our comfort zone.
So I take a moment to follow the advice of another God placed in my life many years ago and I breath, just still my mind and heart and breath... I am reminded that I know that I know, that I know, that my God is Faithful to never leave me nor forsake me and that He has great plans for me! Plans to prosper me, to give me a future with hope. That He is with me, and takes great delight in me. He will quiet me with His love and He will rejoice over me with signing. I now find myself knowing I can do nothing but praise His name and rest in His love and righteousness as I allow the new dreams He is planting to take root and flourish in my life.
Blessing my friends,
Monday, August 17, 2009
Define Healthy living... for you!
I have been thinking quite a bit while away from home breathing the fresh mountain air in the TN and NC mountains about what healthy living is...
I have realized when talking to others that this can be very different for people. For some, healthy living may be an active lifestyle with lots of outdoor activities like hiking, biking, jogging, playing football or volleyball or other sport. For still others it may eating only organic foods, or being a vegetarian. Still others may say no it just means that I am not overeating and going for a walk every day. Others may tell you that they just want a good report for the Dr regarding their blood work.
I have been trying to evaluate what true health means to me. I will encourage you to do the same. If we do not take the time to evaluate this and know what it means for ourselves, how will we know when we have achieved the goal of healthy in our lives. This is my challenge to you. You are worth the time spent figuring this out. You are important and you need to be responsible to yourself in this area of your life!
For me I am currently redefining this in my life. when I embarked on this journey I defined health as not smoking, exercising and loosing weight, and getting off my meds. well then does that mean that I have achieved total health? I have done all of those things... Of course not. I still have a long way to go to be completely healthy! but I am making progress. so my redefined healthily goals are as follows....
Balanced healthy living for me now includes making daily decisions in each of the following categories... here are just a few examples...
PHYSICALLY - good food choices eating whole natural foods created by God and not re-manufactured by man. Exercise at least three times per week, preferably 5 days per week.
EMOTIONALLY - spend time each day to evaluate why I am making the choices I am making and recording my discoveries in a journal. Reading the list of "who I am in Christ" daily. start and end each day listing at least 10 things I am thankful for.
MENTALLY - Spending time each day learning something new about health.
Memorizing a new scripture each week. "Me Time"
SPIRITUALLY - Attending a worship service weekly with a body of believers. Daily time with God reading scripture, prayer, and just being still and listening. Daily times of worship. listening to Praise and Worship music whenever I can.
Make your list... and make sure the list is written down somewhere, not just in your head.
Blessings,
I have realized when talking to others that this can be very different for people. For some, healthy living may be an active lifestyle with lots of outdoor activities like hiking, biking, jogging, playing football or volleyball or other sport. For still others it may eating only organic foods, or being a vegetarian. Still others may say no it just means that I am not overeating and going for a walk every day. Others may tell you that they just want a good report for the Dr regarding their blood work.
I have been trying to evaluate what true health means to me. I will encourage you to do the same. If we do not take the time to evaluate this and know what it means for ourselves, how will we know when we have achieved the goal of healthy in our lives. This is my challenge to you. You are worth the time spent figuring this out. You are important and you need to be responsible to yourself in this area of your life!
For me I am currently redefining this in my life. when I embarked on this journey I defined health as not smoking, exercising and loosing weight, and getting off my meds. well then does that mean that I have achieved total health? I have done all of those things... Of course not. I still have a long way to go to be completely healthy! but I am making progress. so my redefined healthily goals are as follows....
Balanced healthy living for me now includes making daily decisions in each of the following categories... here are just a few examples...
PHYSICALLY - good food choices eating whole natural foods created by God and not re-manufactured by man. Exercise at least three times per week, preferably 5 days per week.
EMOTIONALLY - spend time each day to evaluate why I am making the choices I am making and recording my discoveries in a journal. Reading the list of "who I am in Christ" daily. start and end each day listing at least 10 things I am thankful for.
MENTALLY - Spending time each day learning something new about health.
Memorizing a new scripture each week. "Me Time"
SPIRITUALLY - Attending a worship service weekly with a body of believers. Daily time with God reading scripture, prayer, and just being still and listening. Daily times of worship. listening to Praise and Worship music whenever I can.
Make your list... and make sure the list is written down somewhere, not just in your head.
Blessings,
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Asking questions
I have been challenged today by something I read on a web site. I have also been challenged to think differently based on a conversation I had today with an individual I regularly interact with in business. I know that I am at a place in life that I have lots of new opportunities opening up to me. The reality is, my reality, is that I am at a place in my life where I can choose to change the course of my life. I can chose to completely transform every area of my life. For the first time in my adult life I can choose how I want to live the rest of my life. I have never had that opportunity before. at least I never felt like I did. Now I do...
So today I have been inspired to make a significant change in my life. No longer am I going to be afraid of what others think of me and wanting to appear that I have all the answers, when I don't. I do however want to learn. I hope I never loose my passion for learning. Now however I am going to do something I very seldom do and that is to start asking questions. I am asking questions of myself, and my God, but also my friends, and those who inspire me, those who I respect and choose to learn from.
Questioning is often associated with doubt and is thought to be rebellious or unfaithful. But, we only learn more about God and our lives as his children by asking questions. To ask questions is to desire to find out if there is more to reality or a part of reality than I sense or experience or understand in the present moment. It is a desire to have clarification or translation of concepts, impressions or ideas so that we might confront and evaluate them. It is to participate in reality and be enabled to participate in reality. It is to avoid prejudiced or automatic reactions. It is to confess our faith in God Who can and will sustain us in the struggle and process of asking, learning and growing. (Is there any kind of growth without pain?) Asking questions is skeptical because we don't know, yet. T.S. Eliot wrote: "Skepticism is not infidelity or destructiveness, or unbelief due to mental sloth, but the habit of examining evidence and the capacity for delayed decision". (Not avoided decision.)
Jesus told us we must become like little children in order to belong in the Kingdom of Heaven. Little children constantly ask questions because they have faith in mommy and daddy, the world and God to give good answers. As "adults" we cripple ourselves with sophistication and fear and live in the smallest possible world. I no longer want to live in a small world. I want to be able to experience all that God has for me and the only way I know of to do that is to start asking questions.
Blessings,
So today I have been inspired to make a significant change in my life. No longer am I going to be afraid of what others think of me and wanting to appear that I have all the answers, when I don't. I do however want to learn. I hope I never loose my passion for learning. Now however I am going to do something I very seldom do and that is to start asking questions. I am asking questions of myself, and my God, but also my friends, and those who inspire me, those who I respect and choose to learn from.
Questioning is often associated with doubt and is thought to be rebellious or unfaithful. But, we only learn more about God and our lives as his children by asking questions. To ask questions is to desire to find out if there is more to reality or a part of reality than I sense or experience or understand in the present moment. It is a desire to have clarification or translation of concepts, impressions or ideas so that we might confront and evaluate them. It is to participate in reality and be enabled to participate in reality. It is to avoid prejudiced or automatic reactions. It is to confess our faith in God Who can and will sustain us in the struggle and process of asking, learning and growing. (Is there any kind of growth without pain?) Asking questions is skeptical because we don't know, yet. T.S. Eliot wrote: "Skepticism is not infidelity or destructiveness, or unbelief due to mental sloth, but the habit of examining evidence and the capacity for delayed decision". (Not avoided decision.)
Jesus told us we must become like little children in order to belong in the Kingdom of Heaven. Little children constantly ask questions because they have faith in mommy and daddy, the world and God to give good answers. As "adults" we cripple ourselves with sophistication and fear and live in the smallest possible world. I no longer want to live in a small world. I want to be able to experience all that God has for me and the only way I know of to do that is to start asking questions.
Blessings,
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
A dream?
I have heard it said that dreams reveal things to us. In the bible God spoke to people in dreams (remember Joseph was instructed to take Mary as his wife and to not be ashamed of her for the child she carried was the child of God) and He even shared truths about the future in dreams. (remember another Joseph interpreted dreams about Egypt with 7 years of plenty and 7 years of famine)
I woke up this morning knowing the dream I had just had was revealing to me something about myself and this journey I am on. It was a snapshot so to speak of me doing an interview where I was sharing some of the things that helped me get to the place I was physically with my weight that had spiraled out of control, before embarking on this journey to health. I was quite surprised with what was revealed to me... there have been only a few people in my life who have had a significant impact on me. and two of them had health issues that have rocked my world. the first is my daughter. My daughter was born at a very low birth weight of just 4 pounds 8oz. She stayed very tiny for a very long time. Although she had a personality that was huge! she was very small. she wore preemie clothing and diapers until she was 6 months old! she was the size of a 4 month old when she was almost a year. one of the reasons was due to a heart condition. She was born with a congenital heart defect. Her Cardiologist shared with me that I just needed to make sure she had food available to her all the time. So for many years in an attempt to get her to eat enough I always had food out and around for "snacking" the second person was my mom. just over 4 years ago my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer. After an initial surgery where they were able to see evidence of how far it had spread and how advanced it was, she was given just 6 months to live. During the next 6 months one of my daily jobs was to get mom to eat. Not always an easy things to do. So we watched a lot of "cooking shows" the food network became a close friend of ours. One of her favorites was a certain Southern Lady who loved to cook with lots of butter and mayonnaise. Mom would say "oh that looks so good" or "that sounds delicious" and the next thing you knew I was in the kitchen trying to prepare it for her. she would eat a few bites and I would be left to finish it off. Then after Mom passed away those foods became a "comfort" to me. Just like people hang onto items that belonged to a loved on. I hung onto the cooking shows and trying all the wonderful recipes. an enjoyable activity we shared. At the time it was happening it did not register with me that was what was happening, however, it was during the next three and a half years that a lifelong weight problem spiraled out of control.
I find it amazing to me that I never seen this before. It should have been so evident... It however, was not until this morning. I knew I needed to get this down on paper. I will now spend some time praying about it and processing it, so I know better how to deal with it and allow it to change my life for the better. I think i may do that at the Gym while on the treadmill...
Isn't God amazing! He knows the areas of our lives that need to be looked at and allows us small glimpses into things sometimes to reveal great truths to us. Even in our dreams He is at work molding us and shaping us into His original masterpiece.
Blessings my friends,
I woke up this morning knowing the dream I had just had was revealing to me something about myself and this journey I am on. It was a snapshot so to speak of me doing an interview where I was sharing some of the things that helped me get to the place I was physically with my weight that had spiraled out of control, before embarking on this journey to health. I was quite surprised with what was revealed to me... there have been only a few people in my life who have had a significant impact on me. and two of them had health issues that have rocked my world. the first is my daughter. My daughter was born at a very low birth weight of just 4 pounds 8oz. She stayed very tiny for a very long time. Although she had a personality that was huge! she was very small. she wore preemie clothing and diapers until she was 6 months old! she was the size of a 4 month old when she was almost a year. one of the reasons was due to a heart condition. She was born with a congenital heart defect. Her Cardiologist shared with me that I just needed to make sure she had food available to her all the time. So for many years in an attempt to get her to eat enough I always had food out and around for "snacking" the second person was my mom. just over 4 years ago my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer. After an initial surgery where they were able to see evidence of how far it had spread and how advanced it was, she was given just 6 months to live. During the next 6 months one of my daily jobs was to get mom to eat. Not always an easy things to do. So we watched a lot of "cooking shows" the food network became a close friend of ours. One of her favorites was a certain Southern Lady who loved to cook with lots of butter and mayonnaise. Mom would say "oh that looks so good" or "that sounds delicious" and the next thing you knew I was in the kitchen trying to prepare it for her. she would eat a few bites and I would be left to finish it off. Then after Mom passed away those foods became a "comfort" to me. Just like people hang onto items that belonged to a loved on. I hung onto the cooking shows and trying all the wonderful recipes. an enjoyable activity we shared. At the time it was happening it did not register with me that was what was happening, however, it was during the next three and a half years that a lifelong weight problem spiraled out of control.
I find it amazing to me that I never seen this before. It should have been so evident... It however, was not until this morning. I knew I needed to get this down on paper. I will now spend some time praying about it and processing it, so I know better how to deal with it and allow it to change my life for the better. I think i may do that at the Gym while on the treadmill...
Isn't God amazing! He knows the areas of our lives that need to be looked at and allows us small glimpses into things sometimes to reveal great truths to us. Even in our dreams He is at work molding us and shaping us into His original masterpiece.
Blessings my friends,
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